Movie Reviews: A House On The Bayou

A House On The Bayou

directed by Alex McAulay

This made for cable TV thriller movie should have been chopped in half and presented as an episode from Tales from The Crypt. This movie used many typical horror/thriller movie tropes. 

There's a teen girl discovering her own sexuality, bickering/clueless parents, a threatening yet polite and mysterious young man, adultery, secrets, and unexplained impossible events. A House On The Bayou was too long. I didn't care about most characters. I wasn't impressed with or apprehensive of the bad guys.

Despite the antics of some couples in Hollywood or other less traditional communities, once they are married many people still initially expect that henceforth they will be the only ones providing that good thang to their spouse and vice versa, forever. It's explicitly stated in most marriage vows: "forsaking all others". Well as my high school gym teacher once ruefully noted to our class, "Forever is a long time, baby!".

Television Reviews: Salem's Lot (1979)

Salem's Lot (1979)
directed by Tobe Hooper

This is the three hour television miniseries adaptation of Stephen King's novel of the same name. Although it was directed by the man who became famous for The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, this movie was tasteful and restrained in its use of violence and sexually charged imagery. There's very little. What there is turns out to be all the more impressive because of its rarity. It's certainly toned down a great deal from King's book, where there are detailed descriptions of gore and exactly what certain perverted bus drivers or preachers want to do to the teen girls they encounter. 

Obviously a lot of these changes were for television, but I never felt the movie was holding anything back either. It manages to scare and occasionally titillate without nudity, much cleavage, or long takes of blood spurting everywhere. It also prunes away and/or combines many of King's characters, simplifies or flattens many of those who remain, and completely alters the novel's urbane but dangerous master vampire to a wordless snarling monster who can never ever ever be mistaken for anything else. 

Despite these changes this miniseries was and remains one of the best adaptations of King's work. This movie is an excellent example of how to move a story from one setting to another. It keeps the major themes and story points. It utilizes the advantages of the new medium while minimizing the losses of the original.

Television Reviews: Britannia Season One

Brittania

produced by Pippa Harris and Sam Mendes

Season One previously aired on British television and Amazon prime almost three years ago but just started running on American cable channels this past year. Some people made an immediate positive comparison to HBO's Game of Thrones. I don't think that was an accurate comparison. Britannia's writing is not as high quality as that of the first few seasons of Game of Thrones. Britannia does not convince the viewer to see one group as the protagonists or good guys. It's more of a descriptive show.

The show's sets weren't that extravagant though it makes up for that drawback by spending as much time possible outside-to be fair the narrative often requires it. I liked the lush outdoor camerawork. If you are an outdoors nature loving person you will enjoy this aspect of Britannia. The show was shot on location in the UK and the Czech Republic. 

Britannia concerns the Roman invasion of the titular island in or about AD 43. It's a historical drama with few battles though there is violence. This could be because of budget or just because of where the writers and producers wanted to direct the viewer's attention. This is NOT an action packed drama full of swordfights. Those happen rarely.

Britannia is coy about magic. The show smartly flips back and forth between depicting magic as superstition and fear, something that only seems real because of copious psilocybin mushroom consumption, con man/con woman tricks, or (later in the season and definitely in second season) as something very real and dangerous.

Watching Morning Television

Scanning morning television while working from home over the past nine months I learned a few things. These include:

1) I need to call the Medicare Coverage Hotline right now to make sure I'm getting everything I deserve!!

2) I must immediately buy gold because these are uncertain times.

3) Jon Taffer can solve any problem by yelling at someone until s/he does better.

4) For just 3 easy payments of $24.99 I can have the best non-stick pan ever invented.

5) I should call a local ambulance chaser law firm because they're family.

6) Apparently people who badly lost their House, Senate, or dogcatcher race are the go to political experts on every cable channel.

7) Mike Lindell is interrupting this post to give a you a special deal on MyPillow!

8) With exceptions noted, to be an anchor on Fox News a woman must prove she has an unbroken line of "Aryan" descent to at least the 1700's. Male anchors can not have an IQ over 80.

9) Special guests on cable shows must always have their library as a backdrop to emphasize what a "SERIOUS" intellectual they are.

10) The IRS is going to come get me unless I call this tax relief firm and pay them a small fee.

11) If I order right now I can get an extra 20% off!

12) Fox News is convinced that whatever bad happens in America is either Black people's fault or is not as bad as whatever Black people are doing at this exact moment. Be scared. Be very scared!!! 

Television Reviews: Yellowstone Season 1

Yellowstone Season 1
created and written by Taylor Sheridan

I'm not sure if this Paramount TV drama should be considered trashy fun or funny trash. It was created by the man who wrote and directed Wind River, reviewed here. Sheridan also wrote Sicario, reviewed here, acted in Sons of Anarchy, and wrote the Oscar nominated Hell or High Water. So there is some skill behind this creation, but it's not always consistently super apparent in the first season.

There is some confusion in what the show is trying to say at times, something I think comes directly from the top. The creator has said that he doesn't really believe in the concept of white privilege and finds it very offsetting to those whites, who like him, grew up without what they saw as any privilege. 

On the other hand Sheridan's work seems to be at least partially influenced by the work of his brother, John Gibler, a journalist who has passionately detailed drug war atrocities in Mexico, environmental racism in California and Texas and other human rights issues. Sheridan has also written of how certain restaurants or bars out west refused to serve Native Americans, white police would wait outside reservations specifically to profile Native Americans and how gas stations would refuse to serve him once they discovered he was friendly with or working with Native Americans. So whether he likes all the language used by the modern "woke" audiences or not, Sheridan is certainly aware of racial disparities. The question is what to do about it.

Random Thoughts on HBO's Game of Thrones Finale (1)

I don't think that the final season of HBO's Game of Thrones ruined the entire series but I do think that the final episode tried and came close. If we assume that all of the events came from GRRM, which I doubt, GRRM will have some heavy lifting to do in his final books in order to make these plot points believable.

The idea that people who know nothing about Bran other than he is Ned Stark’s son, “fell” out of a window, and has a creepy personality would accept that he should be king, based on the word of a patricidal dwarf known continent wide as a drunk and whoremonger, makes no sense. This "best story" justification is crap. Everyone has stories.

That these same people would tolerate the North going independent boggles the mind. If Bran’s own sister won’t bend the knee to him, why would anyone else? Every region was independent before the Targaryen invasion, not just the North. The Iron Islands and Dorne are just as culturally, religiously and ethnically distinct as the North is. Having the entire continent be ruled by Starks AND the North be independent seems like too many bites at the apple, even for a Stark bannerman such as myself.

Grey Worm and the Dothraki likely outnumber other Westerosi forces in and around King’s Landing at the time of Daenerys’ murder. If not then it’s a close call. But Daenerys JUST gave a wildly popular speech promising permanent revolution and worldwide conquest to her soldiers, who LIVE for such things. Daenerys has also condemned Tyrion to die.

Daenerys Targaryen: Crazy Capricious Killer or Misunderstood Matriarch???

The Daenerys heel turn of burning King's Landing down and deliberately incinerating untold numbers of civilians caused a great deal of agita among some Game of Thrones fans.
Some people think that this is either Benioff's and Weiss's or even GRRM's commentary that strong women are always crazy women. I don't think that argument is worth discussing. FWIW, GRRM describes himself as a feminist. GRRM created many characters of different genders and sexualities, all of whom are varying mixes of good and evil, intelligence and stupidity, competence and ineptitude. It is almost certainly not a meta-commentary by  GRRM or show creators on the danger of female leadership to have Daenerys burn down King's Landing. The fact that so many people joyously read Daenerys as avenging feminist Messiah is a testament to GRRM's creative abilities, nothing else.

The second, more numerous and to my mind more legitimate detractors are not necessarily THAT bothered by Daenerys going Mad Queen but think that it wasn't earned in the show. The show is all we can go on here as these events have not taken place in the books. On a private board I frequent, and on quora too I might add, this last episode caused heated discussion. As one show watcher pointed out on this blog:  

This made no sense for her character as depicted in the show. Just last season she literally rebutted that she is "not here to be the queen of the ashes" when Yara and the Queen of the Sandsnakes urged her to burn King's Landing. That was 1 season ago. 1!!! Now all of a sudden she's the mad queen? Not buying it.

We must remember that unless and until Benioff ,Weiss and GRRM give us a detailed look at what were GRRM's contributions and what were Benioff's and Weiss' we may never know what events were GRRM's "true" ideas. For all we know GRRM might be reviewing screen events and decide to alter or more deeply explain story events. Still, for something this big and character defining as the near total destruction of King's Landing my money is on it being GRRM's intent all along. So Daenerys was always going to go bad.

HBO Game of Thrones: Thoughts on Episode 3 - The Long Night

I rewatched the most recent episode of HBO's Games of Thrones (episode 3). I debated it and discussed it with friends, family, and associates online and offline. I read other people's takes. I heard some of what Benioff and Weiss had to say. Now that I've come down from the sugar high of Arya's heroism I think I can provide more sober analysis of what I didn't like in the episode.

There are three points that bear mentioning. (1) Medieval Warfare is a wonderful magazine, one which I read religiously. My points about military tactics are generally based on my readings of various issues of that magazine and other historical books. Mistakes and omissions are mine. (2) Obviously this is just my pov which I am writing for my own enjoyment and hopefully yours as well. I am certainly not stating that I am "right". The show belongs to the showrunners, not viewers (3) Arya is one of my favorite characters. Criticism of her character arc isn't based in the modern bete noire of misogyny.

The episode was entertaining. I was a little disappointed at the episode's fit in the larger tale. GRRM has shared plot points and character fates with Benioff and Weiss. GRRM believes the show and book endings will be broadly similar, although the paths will differ. I'm no book purist. The showrunners occasionally improved the tale by changing or eliminating some GRRM inventions. For example, I don't think the HBO series should have included Strong Belwas, a not too bright black Daenerys devotee who speaks in the third person and defecates on the corpses of those he kills. The show didn't need vivid description of the Mountain and crew's vicious gang rape of a preteen girl and murder of her brother.

But, when I heard that the showrunners had decided about three years prior to have Arya be the one to kill the Night King, a character not present in the published books, I thought that the decision, no matter how much I enjoyed the knife drop move, was a mistake, and one likely made purely for fan service reasons. Let's discuss more.

HBO Game of Thrones Final Season: Martells

Bad Writing Destroys House Martell

Dorne was, depending on who you talk to and how you understand the story, a way to bring in some storylines, settings and themes that weren't 100% based on Northern European patriarchal norms. In the books Dorne was a fantasy meld of Iberian, Welsh, Italian, and North African settings with minor Palestinian or even West African cultural signifiers tossed in for flavor. Dorne was not conquered by the Targaryens but voluntarily joined the realm via marriage. The biggest difference between Dorne and everywhere else in Westeros was that Dorne practiced equal inheritance between male and female. Dorne as a nation was founded one thousand years ago by Queen Nymeria. Nymeria led refugees to Dorne, burned her ships so no one could flee, married a Martell, and proceeded to curb stomp all of the squabbling states and regions of Dorne into one realm which she and her husband ruled as equal partners. 

In Robert's Rebellion, Lannister thug Gregor Clegane (and in books also Amory Lorch) raped Princess Elia Martell and murdered her and her children. The Dornish Prince Doran and his younger brother Prince Oberyn did not forgive or forget the atrocities committed against their blood. Doran played the long game, letting people believe that he forswore vengeance while building up House Martell. Oberyn took a different path. Oberyn went to King's Landing and made it clear to all that he was out for vengeance against Lannisters in general and Gregor Clegane and Tywin Lannister in particular. 

Oberyn had a chance for revenge when he defended Tyrion Lannister in a trial by combat against the fearsome Gregor Clegane. Oberyn showed that speed and poison kills. Unfortunately for Oberyn he forgot that Gregor Clegane, even mortally wounded, is freakishly strong and freakishly fast. Don't taunt Gregor until after he's dead. Otherwise THIS happens.

HBO Game of Thrones Final Season: Baratheons

Baratheons show why you should stay out of family feuds

At the beginning of HBO's Game of Thrones, Robert Baratheon appeared to be on top of the world. Robert was King of Westeros. Robert had won the kingdom with his strong right hand, which he used to wield a war hammer so heavy most other people couldn't lift it. Robert had personally killed the previous heir to the throne, Rhaegar Targaryen, hitting him so hard with the aforementioned war hammer that the encrusted rubies on Rhaegar's breastplate were being found in the river months or even years later. Robert had his godfather Jon Arryn as Hand (Prime Minister), his two younger brothers Stannis and Renly as council members and his best friend Ned Stark as backup in case anyone started to act funny. 

Robert married the realm's most beautiful woman, Cersei Lannister. Robert could thus count on his father-in-law's support. Tywin Lannister is the realm's richest and most ruthless leader. With the exception of a brief revolt by the Westeros Appalachia equivalent, Cthulhu worshiping pirates from the Iron Islands, Robert brought and kept the peace. Or so it seemed. Unfortunately for Robert his desire and ability to win the throne and avenge himself upon the people who had stolen his true love Lyanna Stark and murdered his best friend's father and brother were always greater than his desire and ability to rule ably, pay attention to details, or sniff out enemies smart enough to avoid direct confrontation.

HBO Game of Thrones Final Season Trailer #1

April 14th. Be there or be square dudes and dudettes!

HBO Game of Thrones Final Season: Starks, Tullys and Arryns

HBO's Game of Thrones series, adapted from George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire starts its final season on April 14th. The Starks, Tullys, and Arryns all intermarried with one another. The Starks are the first family introduced and get the majority of the POV characters for much of the series. They are clearly the people with whom the viewer and/or reader are meant to identify. And yet the Starks more than any other House, at least for much of the series, take it on the chin. They lose the War of the Five Kings. Their home is burned down. Later their home is under the control of monstrous rivals. Still there are a few Starks left alive and as Arya Stark pointed out "Leave one wolf alive and the sheep are never safe."

• Ned Stark: Dead. Murdered by Joffrey, most likely with Littlefinger's encouragement.
• Robb Stark: Dead. Murdered by Roose Bolton and Walder Frey.
• Catelyn Stark (Tully): Dead. Murdered by Walder Frey.
• Talisa Stark: Dead. Murdered by Walder Frey.
• (unborn baby) Ned Stark: Dead. Murdered by Walder Frey.
• Rickon Stark: Dead. Murdered by Ramsay Snow.
• Jon Snow: Alive then dead (murdered by the Night's Watch) then alive again-resurrected by Melisandre.
• Bran Stark: Alive but crippled and moving swiftly beyond human concerns.
• Sansa Stark: Alive and survivor of rapes, beatings and betrayals. Generally PO'd.
• Arya Stark: Alive. See Sansa Stark x 10 for description of personality.
• Brynden "The Blackfish " Tully: Died fighting in last stand for the memory of his grand-nephew and king, Robb Stark.
• Edmure Tully: Last seen under Frey imprisonment. Unsure of status given that Arya eliminated most if not all male Freys. Most Tully soldiers were also murdered along with Stark soldiers at Red Wedding.
• Jon Arryn: Dead. Murdered by Lysa Arryn and Littlefinger.
• Lysa Arryn (Tully): Dead. Murdered by Littlefinger.
• Robin Arryn: Alive.
• Summer: Dead.
• ShaggyDog: Dead.
• Lady: Dead.
• Grey Wind: Dead.
• Ghost: Alive.
• Nymeria: Alive and staying far far far away from any Starks.

Twenty Years Since The Sopranos Started

The Sopranos was one of my favorite television dramas. It wasn't the first show to have an antihero protagonist but it was one of the most successful ones to do so. This wasn't just great acting by the series star, the late James Gandolfini, but excellent writing, direction and production by series creator David Chase as well as wonderful support by many other actors and actresses, including Edie Falco. It does seem odd to realize that it has been twenty years since the series debut. Chase and Falco reminisce about the show and of course that ending.

Megyn Kelly Out At NBC?

If you pick up a cobra and caress it there's a good chance that you will be bitten repeatedly. You'll probably die if you can't get anti-venom quickly enough. Either way, regardless of whether you live or die, most people would tell you (or your survivors) that what you did was remarkably stupid. Cobras are venomous. They can kill. It's what they do. Megyn Kelly is a human cobra. She's a skinny venomous racist. It's who she is. It's what she does. You can't hire Megyn Kelly and expect that she's not going to say or do something racist any more than you would lie down with a cobra and expect not to get bit. Although I do not like Megyn Kelly I have to put most of the blame on this controversy on the people at NBC who hired her in the first place. I understand that they were chasing profits hoping to get some of the Trump voting viewers who had made Kelly successful at Fox. But not all money is good money.

And NBC didn't even get the ratings they were expecting to get because a toned down Kelly isn't able or willing to build or keep an audience looking for softer, less aggressive, less confrontational topics and tone. That's not her. Even a sanitized Kelly is far too abrasive for the morning NBC audience. The stench of her inauthenticity radiated for miles. The real Kelly is the woman who thinks that blackface is just fun and f*** you if you can't take a joke. She let the mask drop because she either got tired of wearing it or thought she was back on Fox. Make no mistake, if Kelly made the exact same comments at Fox she would still have a show and job. Heck she might get another pay raise. I haven't bothered to look yet but I have no doubt that even now conservatives racists are forming up like Voltron to argue that Kelly is the real victim and Black people are just too sensitive, yada, yada, yada.

Megyn Kelly Today has been canceled, according to multiple reports. The 47-year-old journalist's NBC talk show is reportedly over after she was widely criticized on Tuesday for defending using blackface in Halloween costumes.

Stephen Colbert is a Tolkien Nerd

I don't watch a lot of television so I didn't know that Stephen Colbert was a fan of Chance the rapper, Gilbert and Sullivan patter songs, and J.R.R. Tolkien. Good man. You really should read The Silmarillion if you have the time. There's a lot of good stories contained within, including a fictionalized reworking of how Tolkien met and fell in love with his wife.

                      

Joy Reid and the Big Lie

MSNBC host Joy Reid was recently at the center of a minor brouhaha which was indicative of why many people hold the establishment media in low esteem. Before Reid was the eye rolling Madame Defarge of the anti-Trump Resistance she was a radio talk show host, political columnist and a blogger. Few people paid attention to everything that Reid was writing on her blog from 2006 to 2010. Reid wasn't big time then. Her blog was aimed at a different audience than she reaches with her 2018 television show. The political and cultural environment was different a decade ago. President Obama was elected in 2008 claiming opposition to same sex marriage. Likely, some assumed that it wasn't a very strident opposition, that Obama was lying, or that he was just cautious about coming out in favor of gay marriage. 

But even then it was at the very least bad form, rude and callous if not "homophobic" for a straight person to publicly question people's sexuality, mock people by calling them gay, or claim ostentatious disgust at the idea of gay intimacy. Reid did all of that. People found Reid's old blog posts, many of which claimed that then Florida Republican governor Charlie Crist was gay. Reid apologized and said she was a different person back then. This was no big deal to me. The rain falls on good and evil alike. Many people have made nasty statements about those they consider other. 

HBO's Confederate Show

As you may have heard the creators and show runners of HBO's smash hit series Game of Thrones, David Benioff and D.B Weiss, have decided to create and produce another show for HBO. Tentatively titled Confederate this show will imagine a modern day world in which the slave owning South won the Civil War as well as subsequent conflicts with the North. Slavery is still legal in the South but not the North. A black husband and wife couple, Malcolm and Nichelle Spellman, will also write for and produce the show. No scripts have yet been created. No storyline or theme has been divulged. And that is all anyone who is not named David Benioff, D.B Weiss, Malcolm or Nichelle Spellman, or who is not within the small group of HBO executives who greenlit the show or who is not married to or related to the show creators knows about Confederate at this time. 

Though the proposed show Confederate hasn't been viewed by a single mumbling soul many people immediately came out against the show. These reasons ranged from personal taste to fears that it would embolden the right-wing to concerns that whites would mess up the story to worries that it would by definition bolster lies about black inferiority to somewhat presumptuous fears that the American populace just didn't need to see this to accusations of cultural appropriation, imperialism and race-pimping/concern trolling. 

Jimmy Fallon and Celine Dion Do Musical Impressions

I don't watch a lot of television. And I'm not really a Fallon or Dion fan. So even though this was an old bit it was new to me when I ran across it on Facebook a few weeks back. I thought it was funny enough. It's amusing to see how professional singers interpret other professionals' signature cadences and moves. I don't follow Cher or Rihanna but it seems to me that Dion did a passable imitation of them both.

HBO Game of Thrones Season Seven Trailer (4)

My, my, my. What have we here. Yes, it's another HBO Game of Thrones Season Seven trailer. It looks like Daenerys has made it back to Westeros, but she might not be getting the welcome she assumed. And Littlefinger is still doing his skulking. I hope that Jon and Sansa learn who it was that betrayed Ned in King's Landing. Is Arya finally making it home to Winterfell? Can the Sand Snakes be make less annoying or hopefully written out of the story altogether?  Can Missandei and Grey Worm find happiness even though he's well..wormless? Who will be the Chosen One to defend the realms of men against the White Walkers? Jon? Tyrion? Daenerys? Hot Pie? We shall see.

CNN Fires Reza Aslan for Insulting President Trump

Once again, although we theoretically have free speech in this country it is important to remember that the concept really only limits the government and what it can do to you. Generally speaking the government can't imprison you for what you say nor can it prevent you from speaking because it doesn't like the content. Corporations are not governments. And although corporations can not put you in prison, they certainly can separate you from a stream of income. CNN just fired host Reza Aslan, who made profane statements in regards to President Trump citing his travel ban in regards to the recent terror attacks in Great Britain.
After Trump tweeted about his travel ban following the London terror attack, Aslan responded, “This piece of s*** is not just an embarrassment to America and a stain on the presidency. He’s an embarrassment to humankind.”
He later took down that tweet and apologized.
But there was still pressure for the network to drop Aslan. The Media Research Center in particular spearheaded some of those efforts: