Random Thoughts on HBO's Game of Thrones Finale (1)

I don't think that the final season of HBO's Game of Thrones ruined the entire series but I do think that the final episode tried and came close. If we assume that all of the events came from GRRM, which I doubt, GRRM will have some heavy lifting to do in his final books in order to make these plot points believable.

The idea that people who know nothing about Bran other than he is Ned Stark’s son, “fell” out of a window, and has a creepy personality would accept that he should be king, based on the word of a patricidal dwarf known continent wide as a drunk and whoremonger, makes no sense. This "best story" justification is crap. Everyone has stories.

That these same people would tolerate the North going independent boggles the mind. If Bran’s own sister won’t bend the knee to him, why would anyone else? Every region was independent before the Targaryen invasion, not just the North. The Iron Islands and Dorne are just as culturally, religiously and ethnically distinct as the North is. Having the entire continent be ruled by Starks AND the North be independent seems like too many bites at the apple, even for a Stark bannerman such as myself.

Grey Worm and the Dothraki likely outnumber other Westerosi forces in and around King’s Landing at the time of Daenerys’ murder. If not then it’s a close call. But Daenerys JUST gave a wildly popular speech promising permanent revolution and worldwide conquest to her soldiers, who LIVE for such things. Daenerys has also condemned Tyrion to die.

Daenerys Targaryen: Crazy Capricious Killer or Misunderstood Matriarch???

The Daenerys heel turn of burning King's Landing down and deliberately incinerating untold numbers of civilians caused a great deal of agita among some Game of Thrones fans.
Some people think that this is either Benioff's and Weiss's or even GRRM's commentary that strong women are always crazy women. I don't think that argument is worth discussing. FWIW, GRRM describes himself as a feminist. GRRM created many characters of different genders and sexualities, all of whom are varying mixes of good and evil, intelligence and stupidity, competence and ineptitude. It is almost certainly not a meta-commentary by  GRRM or show creators on the danger of female leadership to have Daenerys burn down King's Landing. The fact that so many people joyously read Daenerys as avenging feminist Messiah is a testament to GRRM's creative abilities, nothing else.

The second, more numerous and to my mind more legitimate detractors are not necessarily THAT bothered by Daenerys going Mad Queen but think that it wasn't earned in the show. The show is all we can go on here as these events have not taken place in the books. On a private board I frequent, and on quora too I might add, this last episode caused heated discussion. As one show watcher pointed out on this blog:  

This made no sense for her character as depicted in the show. Just last season she literally rebutted that she is "not here to be the queen of the ashes" when Yara and the Queen of the Sandsnakes urged her to burn King's Landing. That was 1 season ago. 1!!! Now all of a sudden she's the mad queen? Not buying it.

We must remember that unless and until Benioff ,Weiss and GRRM give us a detailed look at what were GRRM's contributions and what were Benioff's and Weiss' we may never know what events were GRRM's "true" ideas. For all we know GRRM might be reviewing screen events and decide to alter or more deeply explain story events. Still, for something this big and character defining as the near total destruction of King's Landing my money is on it being GRRM's intent all along. So Daenerys was always going to go bad.

HBO Game of Thrones: Thoughts on Episode 3 - The Long Night

I rewatched the most recent episode of HBO's Games of Thrones (episode 3). I debated it and discussed it with friends, family, and associates online and offline. I read other people's takes. I heard some of what Benioff and Weiss had to say. Now that I've come down from the sugar high of Arya's heroism I think I can provide more sober analysis of what I didn't like in the episode.

There are three points that bear mentioning. (1) Medieval Warfare is a wonderful magazine, one which I read religiously. My points about military tactics are generally based on my readings of various issues of that magazine and other historical books. Mistakes and omissions are mine. (2) Obviously this is just my pov which I am writing for my own enjoyment and hopefully yours as well. I am certainly not stating that I am "right". The show belongs to the showrunners, not viewers (3) Arya is one of my favorite characters. Criticism of her character arc isn't based in the modern bete noire of misogyny.

The episode was entertaining. I was a little disappointed at the episode's fit in the larger tale. GRRM has shared plot points and character fates with Benioff and Weiss. GRRM believes the show and book endings will be broadly similar, although the paths will differ. I'm no book purist. The showrunners occasionally improved the tale by changing or eliminating some GRRM inventions. For example, I don't think the HBO series should have included Strong Belwas, a not too bright black Daenerys devotee who speaks in the third person and defecates on the corpses of those he kills. The show didn't need vivid description of the Mountain and crew's vicious gang rape of a preteen girl and murder of her brother.

But, when I heard that the showrunners had decided about three years prior to have Arya be the one to kill the Night King, a character not present in the published books, I thought that the decision, no matter how much I enjoyed the knife drop move, was a mistake, and one likely made purely for fan service reasons. Let's discuss more.

HBO Game of Thrones Final Season: Martells

Bad Writing Destroys House Martell

Dorne was, depending on who you talk to and how you understand the story, a way to bring in some storylines, settings and themes that weren't 100% based on Northern European patriarchal norms. In the books Dorne was a fantasy meld of Iberian, Welsh, Italian, and North African settings with minor Palestinian or even West African cultural signifiers tossed in for flavor. Dorne was not conquered by the Targaryens but voluntarily joined the realm via marriage. The biggest difference between Dorne and everywhere else in Westeros was that Dorne practiced equal inheritance between male and female. Dorne as a nation was founded one thousand years ago by Queen Nymeria. Nymeria led refugees to Dorne, burned her ships so no one could flee, married a Martell, and proceeded to curb stomp all of the squabbling states and regions of Dorne into one realm which she and her husband ruled as equal partners. 

In Robert's Rebellion, Lannister thug Gregor Clegane (and in books also Amory Lorch) raped Princess Elia Martell and murdered her and her children. The Dornish Prince Doran and his younger brother Prince Oberyn did not forgive or forget the atrocities committed against their blood. Doran played the long game, letting people believe that he forswore vengeance while building up House Martell. Oberyn took a different path. Oberyn went to King's Landing and made it clear to all that he was out for vengeance against Lannisters in general and Gregor Clegane and Tywin Lannister in particular. 

Oberyn had a chance for revenge when he defended Tyrion Lannister in a trial by combat against the fearsome Gregor Clegane. Oberyn showed that speed and poison kills. Unfortunately for Oberyn he forgot that Gregor Clegane, even mortally wounded, is freakishly strong and freakishly fast. Don't taunt Gregor until after he's dead. Otherwise THIS happens.

HBO Game of Thrones Final Season: Baratheons

Baratheons show why you should stay out of family feuds

At the beginning of HBO's Game of Thrones, Robert Baratheon appeared to be on top of the world. Robert was King of Westeros. Robert had won the kingdom with his strong right hand, which he used to wield a war hammer so heavy most other people couldn't lift it. Robert had personally killed the previous heir to the throne, Rhaegar Targaryen, hitting him so hard with the aforementioned war hammer that the encrusted rubies on Rhaegar's breastplate were being found in the river months or even years later. Robert had his godfather Jon Arryn as Hand (Prime Minister), his two younger brothers Stannis and Renly as council members and his best friend Ned Stark as backup in case anyone started to act funny. 

Robert married the realm's most beautiful woman, Cersei Lannister. Robert could thus count on his father-in-law's support. Tywin Lannister is the realm's richest and most ruthless leader. With the exception of a brief revolt by the Westeros Appalachia equivalent, Cthulhu worshiping pirates from the Iron Islands, Robert brought and kept the peace. Or so it seemed. Unfortunately for Robert his desire and ability to win the throne and avenge himself upon the people who had stolen his true love Lyanna Stark and murdered his best friend's father and brother were always greater than his desire and ability to rule ably, pay attention to details, or sniff out enemies smart enough to avoid direct confrontation.

HBO Game of Thrones Final Season: Lannisters, Greyjoys, and Tyrells

Damn It Feels Good to Be a Lannister
HBO's Game of Thrones series, adapted from George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire starts its final season on April 14th. The initial antagonist family pitted against the proud but sternly moralistic Starks was the sybaritic and equally proud but more numerous and far more vindictive Lannisters. Rich as a Lannister, A Lannister always pays his debts, and Hear Me Roar were just a few of the sayings associated with the Lannisters, who maintained firm control over the Westerlands and successfully made a power move on the Iron Throne, cuckolding the Baratheon King and arranging his death. 

The noble but hapless Ned Stark failed to prevent this. After all of the wars, murders, attempted murders, backstabbing, taboo breaking betrayals, intra-family squabbling and patricide, a Lannister still sits on the Iron Throne.  Utterly pragmatic Lannisters will use any tool to win-force, lies, money, treachery. Just win.

As it turns out the Iron Throne may not be worth anything because Winter Is Coming And This Time We Really Mean It but Cersei Lannister has never been known for her ability to let go of old resentments. Nursing resentments is after all a Lannister family trait.  Cersei may be a mean drunk, not as intelligent as she thinks, and a nasty brother-f****r but she does seem to have learned something from having been previously outsmarted by the High Sparrow and her little brother Tyrion. In the last season it was Cersei who outplayed Tyrion, despite having a objectively weaker position during Daenerys' return.

House Lannister is hanging onto power by a thread but as Cersei Lannister patiently explained to both Ned Stark and Littlefinger, maintaining power is the entire point of her existence. Either you have it or you don't. So where does House Lannister stand as the end game begins?

HBO Game of Thrones Final Season Trailer #1

April 14th. Be there or be square dudes and dudettes!

HBO Game of Thrones Final Season: Starks, Tullys and Arryns

HBO's Game of Thrones series, adapted from George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire starts its final season on April 14th. The Starks, Tullys, and Arryns all intermarried with one another. The Starks are the first family introduced and get the majority of the POV characters for much of the series. They are clearly the people with whom the viewer and/or reader are meant to identify. And yet the Starks more than any other House, at least for much of the series, take it on the chin. They lose the War of the Five Kings. Their home is burned down. Later their home is under the control of monstrous rivals. Still there are a few Starks left alive and as Arya Stark pointed out "Leave one wolf alive and the sheep are never safe."

• Ned Stark: Dead. Murdered by Joffrey, most likely with Littlefinger's encouragement.
• Robb Stark: Dead. Murdered by Roose Bolton and Walder Frey.
• Catelyn Stark (Tully): Dead. Murdered by Walder Frey.
• Talisa Stark: Dead. Murdered by Walder Frey.
• (unborn baby) Ned Stark: Dead. Murdered by Walder Frey.
• Rickon Stark: Dead. Murdered by Ramsay Snow.
• Jon Snow: Alive then dead (murdered by the Night's Watch) then alive again-resurrected by Melisandre.
• Bran Stark: Alive but crippled and moving swiftly beyond human concerns.
• Sansa Stark: Alive and survivor of rapes, beatings and betrayals. Generally PO'd.
• Arya Stark: Alive. See Sansa Stark x 10 for description of personality.
• Brynden "The Blackfish " Tully: Died fighting in last stand for the memory of his grand-nephew and king, Robb Stark.
• Edmure Tully: Last seen under Frey imprisonment. Unsure of status given that Arya eliminated most if not all male Freys. Most Tully soldiers were also murdered along with Stark soldiers at Red Wedding.
• Jon Arryn: Dead. Murdered by Lysa Arryn and Littlefinger.
• Lysa Arryn (Tully): Dead. Murdered by Littlefinger.
• Robin Arryn: Alive.
• Summer: Dead.
• ShaggyDog: Dead.
• Lady: Dead.
• Grey Wind: Dead.
• Ghost: Alive.
• Nymeria: Alive and staying far far far away from any Starks.

Book Reviews: Gods of Thrones-A Pilgrim's Guide To The Religions Of Ice And Fire

Gods of Thrones
by A. Ron Hubbard and Anthony LeDonne

This is a short (under 200 pages) fascinating book that in part examines the religions of the world created by George R.R. Martin in his series A Song of Ice and Fire and adapted for HBO television by Benioff and Weiss as Game of Thrones. The authors do a deep dive into Westerosi cultures to look at the mores and morals that animate them and how they relate or do not to our own. 

This book is emphatically not just about religion. The authors devote text to comparative philosophy, and psychology, time travel, the Hero's Journey, Jung, Freud, Nietzsche, and all of the other things that make human cultures tick and continue to reproduce themselves. 

The authors explore or debunk fan theories and make a few snarky pleas to GRRM to finish the series. This book assumes that you are caught up with either the televised adaptations or the books. The first of two planned volumes, this book starts with the religion/worldview of everyone's favorite morose Northerners, the Starks. It talks about how animism and pantheism work in their world and ours, Greek tree spirits, and Tolkien's Ents. Next up is the Religion of R'hllor and its links to real world religions such as Zoroastrianism. The authors use Greek and Roman myths to examine Tywin Lannister's parental morality, wonder if Roose Bolton is really a vampire, and critique Robb Stark's leadership style. 

GRRM Answers NYT Staff Questions

It would be wonderful if GRRM would finish the books. But I've made my peace with the fact that one ending of the story will be revealed sometime in 2019. And that will be that. Maybe GRRM finishes. Maybe he doesn't. Either way there are just oodles of other books to read and things to do. Anyway I thought this short little Q&A with GRRM was interesting. I also would like seeing Fevre Dream made into a movie.

HBO's Confederate Show

As you may have heard the creators and show runners of HBO's smash hit series Game of Thrones, David Benioff and D.B Weiss, have decided to create and produce another show for HBO. Tentatively titled Confederate this show will imagine a modern day world in which the slave owning South won the Civil War as well as subsequent conflicts with the North. Slavery is still legal in the South but not the North. A black husband and wife couple, Malcolm and Nichelle Spellman, will also write for and produce the show. No scripts have yet been created. No storyline or theme has been divulged. And that is all anyone who is not named David Benioff, D.B Weiss, Malcolm or Nichelle Spellman, or who is not within the small group of HBO executives who greenlit the show or who is not married to or related to the show creators knows about Confederate at this time. 

Though the proposed show Confederate hasn't been viewed by a single mumbling soul many people immediately came out against the show. These reasons ranged from personal taste to fears that it would embolden the right-wing to concerns that whites would mess up the story to worries that it would by definition bolster lies about black inferiority to somewhat presumptuous fears that the American populace just didn't need to see this to accusations of cultural appropriation, imperialism and race-pimping/concern trolling. 

HBO Game of Thrones Season Seven Trailer (4)

My, my, my. What have we here. Yes, it's another HBO Game of Thrones Season Seven trailer. It looks like Daenerys has made it back to Westeros, but she might not be getting the welcome she assumed. And Littlefinger is still doing his skulking. I hope that Jon and Sansa learn who it was that betrayed Ned in King's Landing. Is Arya finally making it home to Winterfell? Can the Sand Snakes be make less annoying or hopefully written out of the story altogether?  Can Missandei and Grey Worm find happiness even though he's well..wormless? Who will be the Chosen One to defend the realms of men against the White Walkers? Jon? Tyrion? Daenerys? Hot Pie? We shall see.

HBO Game of Thrones Season Seven Trailer (3)

HBO has released some more images and the first proper trailer for the shortened Season Seven, due to start on July 16th. Things are finally drawing to a close, as this trailer seems to hint at. I am still feeling some sort of way that the show will detail the ending of the story before the books but such is life. Enjoy.

Game of Thrones Season Seven Trailer(2)

Well another day another HBO Game of Thrones Season Seven trailer. Like the one before it this one appears to be designed to give away precisely nothing while increasing speculation. There are, or apparently will be, three power centers in Westeros now: the reconstituted Starks in the North, Cersei Lannister in King's Landing and The Westerlands and the soon to be arriving Daenerys Targaryen, who will possibly have the support of everyone in the South who doesn't like Cersei. And since Cersei has never been shy about murdering her enemies, that's a lot of people. All three rulers appear set on a collision course. 

Will Daenerys and Jon learn that they are aunt and nephew? Will the rulers have to make common cause against the long delayed White Walker invasion? And what do Sansa and Littlefinger really think about Jon ruling the North? Jon doesn't exactly have a lot of loyal retainers to call upon since he only survived thanks to intervention by the Vale (which means Littlefinger). Can Cersei and Jaime possibly forgive Tyrion for the murder of their father? Stay tuned I guess. Clip is a little over 90 seconds. Nothing happens. 

Things I learned from A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones

Twenty things I learned from reading A Song of Ice and Fire

1. If you discover the evil Queen’s deep dark secret don’t tell her that you know.
2. If your Dad tells you that the family is leaving and don’t tell anyone, don’t ask the evil Queen to change your Dad’s plans.
3. Just because someone is beautiful doesn’t mean they are morally good.
4. If your husband tells you to go home and don’t make any rash moves, don’t nod sagely and then go kidnap the son of the most ruthless man in the nation.
5. If you made a promise to marry someone, marry her/him.
6. If you work with someone of questionable loyalty (i.e. he has a flayed man for a sigil and “Team Evil” t-shirts), don’t give him a lot of independence of action.
7. People don't always want your help and may even dislike you for giving it.
8. If a man claims to be your wife’s ex and one true love, even though your wife swears on your kids that she friend-zoned that punk decades ago, give some thought to the idea that this dude might carry some resentments towards you.
9. Sometimes your sister really is crazy.
10. Appeal to people's self-interest to get them to follow you. Don't assume they will do so because it's the right thing.
11. Short and/or ugly people have to work harder to get and keep credibility.
12. If you want your subordinates to follow a critical and complicated plan, explain it to them in detail. Make sure they know exactly what they’re expected to do.
13. Childhood pains feed adult resentments.
14. Just because you’re friends with someone doesn’t mean their family likes you.
15. Vengeance isn't always worth it.
16. If you have your enemy down, finish him. Don't talk about finishing him.
17. If she shoots you in the leg when she could have killed you, it's true love.
18. Always guard your home.
19. Always listen to your dog.
20. Always listen to your Mom.

HBO Game of Thrones Recap: The Winds of Winter Season Six Finale

Well all in all this was a mostly satisfying season finale that wrapped up some storylines and opened other ones to ponder over the next year. Book readers will recognize how some events were altered for television. Other characters were folded into different ones. We open up in King's Landing at the Red Keep with Cersei looking out over the city. Everyone is getting dressed for the upcoming trials of Cersei and Loras. Pycelle being the dirty old man that he is, has just finished his business with a prostitute.  There may be snow on the mountain top but there's still fire down below. And Pycelle has apparently, ahem, stiffed the young lady on pay. Cersei is getting dressed in a severe tight gown that doesn't show any cleavage but is still quietly sexual and austere at the same time. At the Sept, Loras is brought in. The High Sparrow (THS) asks Loras if he is ready for his trial. Loras, who has had his hair cut for the trial and looks a particularly sorry sight, responds that actually there will be no trial. He confesses to his crimes of homosexuality and perjury. But this isn't enough for THS. To show that he's truly penitent Loras gets on his knees before THS (and maybe Loras isn't the only one with an alternate sexuality hmm) and says he wants to devote his life to the Seven. He will give up his claim to the Tyrell Lordship and Highgarden. He will live out his life in the "I'm not gay, really I'm not" brigade of the Faith Militant. Lovingly caressing Loras' head, THS announces that this is acceptable. But Lancel and team still need to carve a seven pointed star into Loras' forehead, an act which the watching Margaery and Mace find abhorrent. Margaery even tells THS that this wasn't part of the deal. A child tells Pycelle something as he comes out of his room. Pycelle follows this child until he winds up in a room with Qyburn. Qyburn has an almost pained facial expression. He tells Pycelle that Pycelle deserves better but business is business. He's sorry it had to come to this but you can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs and all that. Pycelle has just enough time to say "huh?" before he's stabbed to death by at least 10 kids armed with daggers. The Mountain prevents King Tommen from going to the Sept. People at the Sept are impatient waiting for Cersei to arrive. THS tells Lancel to go get her. Lancel also gets sidetracked by a strange little kid. Lancel follows this kid to the basement or sub-basement of the Sept. And let me just mention how beautiful the soundtrack cello music was here. I will have to watch this again just for that. It was quite suspenseful and haunting. Seriously this was good stuff.

In the basement Lancel follows the kid into a large chamber. The kid stabs Lancel. Everyone in the Sept is still waiting. Margaery doesn't like it. She knows something is wrong. She tells THS that things aren't right. Cersei knows the punishment for not showing up and yet still isn't there. What does THS think that means? THS can't make a decision. Dying, Lancel looks around the room. It's crammed full of barrels of wildfire. Wildfire has pooled all over the floor. In a time before timers and electric clocks someone has evidently done the calculus necessary to determine exactly when a candle will burn down to its end. And someone has placed two candles at one end of the room in a pool of wildfire. Lancel starts to crawl to try to extinguish the candles. Margaery starts yelling that everyone needs to leave the Sept right NOW! This is good enough for Mace who starts to panic and push to get out. But THS still won't give the word, so the Faith Militant goobers are preventing people from leaving. Well that is a mistake. Lancel reaches the candles just as the flame touches the wildfire. Everyone upstairs hears a rumble below. There's not even enough time for Margaery and her father Mace to say I told you so before BOO-YAH!. There's an explosion of green fire the likes of which hasn't been seen since the Battle of The Blackwater. Everyone in the Sept is immediately incinerated! This includes Kevan Lannister as well. The Sept itself is blown apart. The explosion is so fierce that the Sept bell is hurled miles away into the streets. The Sept and the surrounding area is nothing but a smoldering ruin. Cersei drinks wine and gives her typical twisted smirk. Later on, Cersei goes to see Septa Unella, whom she has captured and tied up. She runs her hands over the woman's body. She reminds the Septa of all the nasty things she did to Cersei. Well payback is a b**** isn't it. Cersei says the Septa did those things not from faith but because she likes hurting Cersei. Well Cersei liked murdering her husband and sleeping with her brother. And she is going to love hurting the Septa. The Septa, in a bit of bravado, says she's ready to die and go to the Gods. Cersei says you must really be dumb if you thought it was going to be that easy. The Mountain enters. Cersei ironically says "Shame, shame, shame", as she leaves the Septa to what I presume is the beginning of a long nightmare of rape and other torture.

Tommen is watching the aftermath looking out at the Sept. Seems like he's crying. Silently he takes off his crown and jumps to his death. Cersei orders Qyburn to burn his body and place the ashes at the ruins of the Sept. At The Twins, Walder Frey is celebrating his victory with Bronn and Jaime Lannister. Neither Bronn not Jaime is in a particularly good mood, though both notice various cleavage baring Frey women and serving wenches giving them the old once over. At Jaime's urgings, Bronn takes advantage of this. Walder Frey is speaking as if the Lannisters and Freys are old friends and equal partners, something which rubs Jaime the wrong way. Like a lot of old people in fiction and real life, Walder no longer bothers to pretend that he cares what people say. Walder sarcastically jokes that he can't kill the re-imprisoned Edmure Tully because to do so would give the Freys a bad name. Jaime points out that Walder Frey never had a good reputation as a warrior in his own right even as a young man. Jaime asks rhetorically if the Lannisters have to do all the heavy lifting then why do they need the Freys exactly? Sam and Gilly reach Oldtown. Sam has to deal with a snooty bureaucrat who is suspicious that there's been no report of change in leadership at the Night's Watch. Nonetheless it's not his call to make on Sam's bona fides. He takes Sam's letter of introduction and tells Sam that for now Sam can hang out in the library until an archmaester can make a decision. But the bureaucrat won't allow Gilly and Sam Jr. in the library. Sam enters the library and is in 7th heaven. The library alone seems to be larger than all of Castle Black.

At Winterfell Davos finally confronts Melisandre about her murder of Shireen. This is Davos' big scene and the actor doesn't disappoint. He's seething with rage and loss. Davos says that he considered Shireen his own kin. Melisandre looks guilty and doesn't claim otherwise. But she points out that Stannis and Selyse agreed with her actions. Anyway there wasn't any other choice. Jon Snow stands alive today at Winterfell because of the Lord of Light. Davos strongly disagrees, stating that any God who kills children is evil. Period. End of story. Anyway Stannis died so apparently Melisandre was wrong about that. Although Davos wants to kill her right here and now Jon exiles Melisandre south on pain of death. Davos emphasizes that he will personally kill her if she comes back. Jon says that he's making the master bedroom (the Lord's room, Mom and Dad's room) ready for Sansa as she should be the Lady of Winterfell. Sansa says it should be Jon as he is a Stark to her. She apologizes for not telling Jon about Littlefinger (LF) and says only a fool would trust LF. Jon says they need to trust each other because winter is here. They are all that's left of the Starks. They still have a lot of enemies. LF goes to see Sansa at the godswood. Physically this is a beautiful scene. Sansa asks him what does he want. He says she knows what he wants. LF says that everything he does is for a little piece of Sansa's  so he can can sit on the Iron Throne with Sansa at his side. Sansa points out that LF has "helped" other families before but that his help always seems to help himself first and most of all. LF says well yeah but don't hate the player, hate the game. He tries to go in for a kiss but Sansa turns away abruptly. Awkward, dude. Really awkward. Perhaps feeling the sting, LF calls Jon a motherless bastard and says Sansa should be the Queen in the North. Is someone watching LF thru the weirwood? Hmm.

In Dorne, Olenna Tyrell, the Queen of Thorns, meets with Ellaria Sand and the Sand Snakes. Like Walder Frey, The Queen of Thorns is very pragmatic, very old, very rude and sees no point to social niceties. She's unimpressed with the masculine Sand Snakes. She wants Dorne's help going to war against Cersei. Cersei killed her son and grandchildren. And that she doesn't forgive. Cersei has declared war against Dorne. For no reason other than television drama Ellaria makes The Queen of Thorns say she wants revenge before revealing that Varys is there. Varys says he can offer Fire and Blood (The Targaryen House Words). In Meereen Daario tells Daenerys that the ships are almost ready. Daenerys tells Daario that he's going to stay in Meereen and run it for her. Daario doesn't like it and blames Tyrion for this decision. Daenerys says that for reasons of perception and alliance building she needs to be single when she reaches Westeros. Daario pulls out the Temptations Ain't Too Proud to Beg routine. He drops to his knees and says he loves Daenerys. In fact he loves her so much that he wouldn't even say no to being the other man if Daenerys needs to marry or be with someone else. Daenerys says that's nice but this decision is final. Besides a player like Daario will have a new special rider before the day is out from what Daenerys can see. All things considered, Daario takes this well. Well at least he doesn't throw himself off a building. Later on Tyrion gives Daenerys a pep talk. Tyrion says dumping Daario was the smart move. Daenerys is a little concerned that she didn't feel anything while she was telling Daario to hit the road. Tyrion says that he was always a cynic but surprisingly at this point in his life he believes in Daenerys. Daenerys is touched by this. She officially makes Tyrion her Hand, giving him a clasp which she hopes looks right.

Walder Frey is eating and drinking all alone. A serving girl brings him more food. As soon as he confirms that he's not actually related to her he starts sexually harassing her. But Walder wants to know where his sons are, the ones who murdered Catelyn and Talisa Stark. The serving girl tells him that his sons are here. Walder scoffs and says no one is here stupid, where are my sons? The girl insists that his sons are here. Getting it, Walder looks a little more closely at the pie as the girl talks about the difficulty of getting human remains into a nice pie. And the girl moves her hands over her face. This girl is Arya Stark of Winterfell. And she stabs Walder Frey. As she slits his throat and holds him down she tells him that she wants the last thing he sees to be a Stark smiling down at him. Benjen Stark drops off Meera Reed and Bran Stark near a weirwood tree. Benjen Stark can't cross the Wall in his half-alive/half-dead state. He will fight the White Walkers for as long as he can and wishes Meera and Bran good luck. Bran uses the weirwood to greensee/timetravel again. He goes back to the Tower of Joy. Ned Stark rushes inside to find his sister Lyanna on a bed of blood. She has hemorrhaged horribly. Ned can't accept that his baby sister is dying but Lyanna knows time is short. A newborn baby boy is brought to Ned. Lyanna whispers "His name is .. if Robert finds out he'll kill him" and demands that Ned "Promise me.. you have to protect him". Ned nods. As far as I am concerned this is confirmation of the long held fan theory discussed here. Just in case you still have any lingering doubts about this the director removes them by doing a long close up of the baby boy and fading out to a long close up of Jon Snow. Any questions? I didn't think so.

Jon and Sansa are leading a meeting of the surviving leadership of the North. This includes people who fought for the Starks at the last battle and some who didn't. The Vale men and LF are also there. Jon says that he knows everyone is tired but that the war isn't over. The White Walkers are coming. People start to look anywhere but at Jon and Sansa. Winter is here. People need to be back to their own lands and families. People aren't crazy about being on the same side as the wildlings. How much fighting can people be expected to do? Jon doesn't have too much to say to that. It looks like folks are going to slink away like people do in status meetings when a boss says he has a new project. But ten year old bada$$ little Lyanna Mormont isn't having it. Not today. She stands up and boasts that House Mormont has never broken faith with House Stark. She and her people were there at the last battle and they will be there at the next one. Because that is what it means to answer the call. She calls out other Houses who didn't answer the Starks in their time of need. She asks if that is really going to be their legacy. After all they lost people at the Red Wedding too. The leaders of House Glover and House Manderly, suitably shamed, admit their wrongdoing and beg forgiveness for their fears. Jon says there is nothing to forgive. And with that it's a "We're putting the band back together" moment as Wyman Manderly and Lord Glover draw their swords and re-pledge fealty to House Stark. They say that as Robb was the Young Wolf, Jon is the White Wolf. And all hail the White Wolf, King of the North! Everyone stands and chants The King of The North, even the Vale Knights and Davos. Everyone that is except LF, who is pretty clearly unhappy about this turn of events. He and Sansa lock eyes briefly. Sansa's smile at the acclaim for Jon goes away when she sees LF and his facial expression.

Jaime and Bronn arrive with the Lannister army back in King's Landing. They are of course shocked to see the burning pit where the Sept used to be. As the only Lannister left, Cersei, attired in a high neck tight dress, is proclaimed as Queen. She sits on the Iron Throne as her brother Jaime watches with an expression that is open to all sorts of different interpretations. Daenerys, The Unsullied, The Dothraki, Tyrion, Missandei, Grey Worm, Varys and of course Theon and Yara lead their invasion fleet back to Westeros as the dragons circle overhead.
And that's all folks!

What I liked

• The Frey Pie served by Arya was done in a different context by a different character in Martin's books but that's not important. What is important is that the scene was lifted from Shakespeare's Titus Andronicus play. Shakespeare likely lifted it from the Greek legend of Atreus and who knows where the Greeks got it from. The point is that by its actions House Frey curses itself. It's a brutal thing. It's a reminder that there is retribution in this world and the next for certain evils.
• THS made the same mistake Ned Stark did. He told Cersei his plans when he didn't actually have Cersei in custody. That scene at the Sept was well acted and timed. I wish the whole season had that element of suspense. Really well done.
• The entire Sept sequence compares well with numerous other revenge instances in film. Cersei Lannister, do you renounce Satan and all his works?
• Tommen was too sweet and too stupid to live with what was going on. 
• If I get in a tight spot I am unworried as long as Lyanna Mormont is watching my back.
• Daenerys is finally getting out of Meereen. Past time for that.

What I didn't like

• I didn't care enough but again Dorne is not just Ellaria and her daughters/nieces. I disliked the entire Dorne storyline but other houses have nothing to say about the kinslaying?
• There was too much travel that didn't line up with the distances involved. Arya and Varys make it back to Westeros in one episode? Varys goes back to Meereen in less than one episode? Come on now.
• So Arya can change faces without having a face from the House of Black and White? How does this work again anyway? We spent how many episodes at the House of Black and White but it looks like the only rules that matter are those which the writers need at a given time.

Games of Thrones Recap: Battle of the Bastards

George R.R. Martin has famously and consistently said that he expects the ending of his series A Song of Ice and Fire to be bittersweet. He has, at least in part, shared what he expects that ending to be with Weiss and Benioff, the creators of HBO's A Game of Thrones. There's no way of knowing if this was derived from something that Martin said (unless Weiss and Benioff confirm it) but I think tonight's episode had some of that aforementioned bittersweet feeling. There were crowd pleasing scenes that were long in coming but there were also some bitterly dashed hopes. More on that in a minute. As is typical with the penultimate episode of this series Sunday's night's episode was very tightly focused. Everything took place in two locations-The North/Winterfell and Meereen. This recap will be a little shorter than normal but that does not reflect the intensity nor the scope of what took place. In Meereen, Tyrion is playing the part of every bumbling middle manager trying to explain to the enraged CEO that things aren't really as bad as they seem and by the way it's not really his fault anyway. Have you ever had to do that at your job? It's not a fun thing to do. Imagine if the CEO has a penchant for feeding failures to dragons. That might tend to make her underlings stay focused. And like a typical big boss, Daenerys is unimpressed with Tyrion's excuses or explanations. She straightforwardly says she will destroy her enemies and burn them all. Tyrion thinks that this might be a good time to channel his inner Tom Hagen and tell her "You've won Mike!! Do you have to kill everybody?". Well it's not that exactly but Tyrion does remind his queen of her insane father and his predilection for burning things and people. The Mad King had hidden caches of wildfire all throughout King's Landing. Tyrion is worried that this love of fire is apparently a genetic tendency. He suggests an alternate plan. Apparently listening to her height challenged adviser, Daenerys meets with representatives of the slavers.

But the slavers are smelling themselves. They want Daenerys to leave without her army and without Grey Worm or Missandei, who will be sold back into slavery. And they will kill her dragons. Daenerys finds this amusing as evidently these mental midgets haven't been watching the previous episodes to see what happens to men who underestimate Daenerys or condescend to her. Daenerys thinks something went wrong in translation as the surrender which was supposed to be under discussion was that of the slavers, not hers. Oh well. These things happen. Perhaps it's time for another reminder of just what dragons can do. Daenerys summons and mounts Drogon. Then with the other two dragons she burns a good portion of the attacking fleet. Not all of it, because she intends to take the ships for her own. The Dothraki and the Second Sons attack the Sons of the Harpy and wipe them out. Grey Worm suggests that the slave soldiers serving the slavers run away, which they do. Grey Worm then kills the two slavers who offered up their comrade in sacrifice to Daenerys' command that someone had to die for the breaking of the treaty. The surviving slaver is urged to return home and let everyone know just how Daenerys gets down. Shortly after this the Greyjoy Siblings arrive in Meereen. Tyrion reminds Theon of all the height jokes Theon made when they saw each other at Winterfell. Tyrion didn't really appreciate those. He takes a short tone with Theon. Tyrion has had it up to here with snarky comments about his height. Tyrion is a little surprised to see Theon now, He's heard about Theon's presumed murder of Bran and Rickon but apparently not about Theon's torture and castration at the hands of Ramsay Bolton. Yara and Daenerys are each intrigued by the other's seizing and wielding of power in a world that normally restricts leadership roles to men. Daenerys also seems to appreciate that Yara speaks plainly and doesn't back down from her. And is Yara looking at Daenerys in that way? And does Daenerys like that look? Hmm. Yara and Theon point out that even though Euron can probably offer a bigger navy, he will demand marriage to Daenerys and likely kill her soon afterwards. After some squabbling and bonding over their fathers' misdeeds Daenerys agrees to support Yara as Queen of the Iron Islands. But independence is off the table and no more reaving in the Seven Kingdoms. A deal is made.

In the North there is the required pre-battle meeting between the good guys and the bad guys. You can't have a showdown without one of those. Everyone knows that. Ten year old bada$$ Lyanna Mormont is there with her trademark scowl along with Davos, Tormund, Sansa and Jon. Ramsay, Karstark and Smalljon are also there. Smalljon again gives proof in the form of Shaggydog's severed head that they have Rickon. Ramsay is in a charming mood and promises that if everyone kneels and acclaims him as Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North they will get to live. He knows he outnumbers them at least 3:1 so battle is a bad idea. Finally he brings up the uncomfortable fact that from the outside it looks like Jon deserted the Night's Watch. Jon and Sansa are unperturbed. Jon challenges Ramsay to single combat which Ramsay declines. Sansa tells Ramsay that he will die and rides off. Ramsay talks about what he's going to do to Sansa once he has her back. This ends the meeting. That night as Jon and his council discuss strategy and battle tactics Jon shows that he apparently has been reading ancient Carthaginian history during the long nights at Castle Black. Jon intends to fight a seemingly defensive battle, draw Ramsay's troops in and then surround them with a double envelopment move. It's the strategy which the Carthaginian general Hannibal used when he annihilated the Roman army at Cannae. To blunt the effectiveness of Ramsay's cavalry, which greatly worries Tormund, Jon has had his men dig trenches to prevent the horsemen from flanking them. It's a good plan, but Sansa is unimpressed. In fact she's downright hostile to her big brother, saying that he doesn't know Ramsay. Ramsay is not stupid whatever else he may be. And Sansa also thinks that Rickon is already as good as dead no matter what happens. As the last known living legitimate son of Ned Stark, Rickon has better claim to Winterfell than a bastard (Jon) or a woman(Sansa). Ramsay won't allow that claim to exist. 

Showing a flash of temper Jon points out that he wasn't exactly sitting on his behind during the past five seasons. He's been in situations that Sansa couldn't possibly imagine so perhaps she should take that bass out of her voice when she speaks to him. But Sansa won't back down. Likely choking back another smart comment Jon asks Sansa what her advice is. Sansa responds that she doesn't know war but she knows Ramsay. Jon should not do what Ramsay wants. Jon can't hide his displeasure at such an obvious statement. The siblings also start up again about their lack of manpower but Jon says it is what it is. Sansa says she's not going back to Ramsay alive no matter what. Jon is crestfallen and says he will protect her. Sansa snorts at that. Davos can't ever sleep before a battle. He and Tormund talk for a while about being wrong about the kings they followed. Davos walks throughout the night. At dawn he finds the burned stag toy which he gave to Shireen. Jon goes to see Melisandre to see what advice she has. She's in her normal low cut gown watching the fires. For a moment I thought she was going to suggest that she and Jon make a shadow baby but no dice. Melisandre's advice is not to lose which again is something that is so freaking obvious that it irritates Jon. He orders Melisandre not to bring him back if he should die but she refuses that order. This leads into a short discussion about army command, free will and God's plan which ends up with Melisandre saying that the Lord of Light is the god that we have, which is an echo of Jon's statement to Sansa that their small army is the army that they have. Melisandre seems a bit depressed.

The following morning it's time to ante up and kick in. Ramsay has burned men hanging on his x crosses. He also has Rickon Stark on a rope. After ostentatiously displaying a knife to Rickon's throat and making Jon gasp, Ramsay cuts Rickon's bonds and orders him to run to his brother Jon. Rickon starts to run but apparently Ramsay has been watching the Mel Gibson movie Apocalypto, which contained a similar scene. Ramsay shoots a few arrows at Rickon but misses. Jon starts to ride to his brother. Rickon tries to run a little faster. Ramsay misses again. You get the feeling that the first few times he wasn't trying. Jon gets closer. Rickon unfortunately has not seen the movie Apocalypto and is not zig zagging during his run. Also unlike fan favorites Arya Stark or Daenerys, Rickon Stark lacks plot armor. Just as Jon is about to sweep up baby brother and ride back to safety Ramsay shoots Rickon right through the heart. He's dead. Dead. Throwing aside caution and his plan Jon charges the Bolton lines. Battle is joined despite Davos cursing that this is not the plan. Jon is soon dismounted. Chaos ensues. The Stark forces are getting the worst of it. As Sansa said, they don't have the numbers. Ramsay stays out of the fighting , ordering regular archery barrages on everyone, under the theory that he can afford to lose a few men while the other side can't. This battle is one of the best choreographed battles I've seen on television. That said though it still irritated me that Jon wasn't wearing a helmet. Obviously it's tv but (Theon not withstanding) if there's one body part you want to protect in battle it's your head. Although it's dispensed with in this battle, good armor works. So people usually try to hit you where your armor is weaker or non-existent. They also try to hit you where serious damage is immediately fatal, like your head. A commander, or anyone with any resources or sense, would not be running around a battlefield without a helmet. The North in general and wildings in particular have fewer resources than the South so maybe that's the explanation. But I guess you have to have Jon without a helmet so we can see him kick all the a$$ he's kicking and look good doing it. Still.

OK all that aside Davos leads the reserve into battle when it looks like Jon and company are in some serious trouble. This helps for a minute but there's just too many enemies. Jon falls and spends some very harrowing moments on the ground trying not to get trampled. Everyone is packed so close now that it's hard to breathe. Jon nearly suffocates. Did I mention how good the camerawork was here. It's like you were there.The Bolton infantry has surrounded Jon's forces on three sides and is slowly advancing in a shieldwall formation, stabbing out with pikes and spears. This is devastating to the mostly unarmored wildlings. On the fourth side there's a pile of corpses over which the Umbers are attacking Jon's army. Wun-Wun the giant tries to break the shield wall but even a giant can only take so many stabs. Tormund and SmallJon Umber go head up. Tormund walks away. The Smalljon does not. Davos is handling his business. Jon has finally resurfaced. They might be able to cut their way out of the trap via the back way but it's unlikely. Wun-Wun has reached his limit. Mother of mercy is this the end of Jon? No it's not. There are horns heard. The Knights of the Vale have arrived in the nick of time. They cut apart the Bolton forces. Littlefinger sits smirking right next to Sansa of course. What better place to be if you're Littlefinger? Ramsay rides back to Winterfell, pursued by Jon, Tormund and some surviving wildlings and Wun-Wun. Ramsay thinks that he can hold Winterfell but Wun-Wun, dying on his feet, breaks down the gate. He's probably dead anyway but Ramsay being the precise sadist he is, shoots Wun-Wun in the eye killing him. Seeing that Jon is bloody and wounded Rasmay agrees that now would be a good time for single combat and tries to shoot Jon. Jon picks up a shield to protect himself and closes with Ramsay. Jon beats the s*** out of Ramsay with his bare hands. He only stops when he sees Sansa watching him. Later on the Stark forces throw out the Bolton banners. Melisandre is there. Jon gives orders that Rickon be buried in the crypts. Sansa asks Jon where Ramsay is. Apparently Sansa has some plans for Ramsay. Some time has passed. 

Ramsay wakes up tied and chained in the kennels. Sansa tells Ramsay that he has lost everything. His house and name will be forgotten. Ramsay tries to get in a parting shot by telling Sansa she can't kill him because he's part of her now. Sansa says does Ramsay remember that he boasted to everyone that he had starved his hounds to make them extra vicious against his enemies. Well look where you are now fool! The kennels! Finally discomfited, Ramsay notices his hounds skulking around. He tries the good boy bit but as Sansa has indicated, the dogs want meat. They are starving. They get closer and closer and rip Ramsay apart. He dies screaming. 

What I liked

• Were Ramsay's final words confirmation that Sansa is pregnant? "I'm part of you now" certainly made me think that she was. It could explain a few other things as well.
• Obviously that Ramsay is no more. Who let the dogs out? 
• Excellent battle scenes.

What I didn't like

• Rickon's death. It made sense that Ramsay would never let him go, however. We can get rid of all that speculation that Smalljon Umber was a double agent or that ShaggyDog was actually alive. I wonder if Rickon's death is going to happen in the books? Kid loses his mother, father, brother, has his house burned down, his wolf killed and then dies pointlessly. Seems unfair.
• The squabbling between Jon and Sansa. I also don't like that with Rickon's death Jon and Sansa may have different ideas about who should be the Stark in Winterfell. And with Littlefinger in the mix that won't end well.

HBO Game of Thrones Recap : No One

In Braavos after Lady Crane finishes playing Cersei during Joffrey's death scene she leaves the stage. In her dressing room Lady Crane discovers Arya wounded and just about out of it. She binds Arya's wounds. I guess we'll just ignore the serious nature of several deep stabs to the stomach, intestines, kidneys and liver areas for now and roll with the story. When Arya questions how an actress learned to be such a good medic Lady Crane tells Arya of previous domestic violence issues with her beloved bad boy paramours. But hold on to your feminist outrage. Lady Crane was the aggressor. She also got rid of the actress playing Sansa by scarring the girl's face. She likes Arya. She offers to bring along Arya when the troupe moves to Pentos.  Arya says she can't stay with Lady Crane because she'll put her in danger. The Hound, as befits his name, has tracked down some of the members of the Brotherhood without Banners and showed them 99 different ways he can turn them into origami with just one trusty axe. He hasn't found the leaders yet but he's looking. The Hound is not so much on the forgive and forget train any more. King Charmin Tommen gave the Faith Militant access to the Red Keep. Qyburn is too polite or too scared of Cersei to point out Tommen's weakness but Cersei knows it well enough. Smelling himself a bit, Cersei's cousin and former lover Lancel tells her that The High Sparrow wants to see her. Cersei is not really feeling this but Lancel makes it clear that it's not a request. So get moving. Now!  Cersei has had just about enough of this attitude and says she's not going. So Lancel and his Holy Rollers need to leave. When they try to seize her, FrankenGregor steps in. One of the Faith Militant is foolish enough to attack the undead Mountain. The Mountain knocks him down and rips him apart. Cersei sardonically lets Lancel know he and The High Sparrow are always welcome to visit. But maybe Cersei played this hand too soon. A little later there is a royal pronouncement in the throne room. Cersei is rather ostentatiously not invited to hear it. Typically she shows up anyway but her uncle Kevan, Tommen's Hand, won't let her anywhere near her son. He banishes her to the upstairs gallery, an obvious insult. King Stay-Soft announces trial dates for Loras and Cersei but in a move that probably comes from The High Sparrow Tommen also announces that effective immediately, trial by combat is banned. It's barbaric and doesn't really prove anything. Instead seven Septons will judge Loras and Cersei. And just like that Cersei is deprived of her most obvious weapon. But you never laugh at live lionesses. Qyburn tells Cersei that there's much more to the rumors she had him investigate. Interesting. Cersei has a plan. I'm sure this involves violence.

Brienne and Podrick reach Riverrun. They are surrounded by Lannister soldiers and escorted to see Jaime. Bronn shoots the breeze with Podrick. Bronn is not awed by Podrick squiring for Brienne or with Podrick's tales of training sessions under Brienne. Bronn says Podrick should be a knight by now. Bronn wants to know if Podrick has had Brienne and is disappointed to find out otherwise. Bronn is a pragmatic sort. He points out that Brienne and Jaime look at each other in a certain way. Bronn also shows Bronn a few combat moves that Brienne might not know about. Jaime claims to be impressed that Brienne found Sansa alive, but he's not going to lift the siege despite Brienne's appeals to his honor. The best Brienne can get from Jaime is an agreement to take Riverrun without bloodshed and let the Tully army go north to help Sansa. Of course this requires that the Blackfish surrender Riverrun based on Brienne's appeals and Sansa's letter. Jaime doubts that will happen. But for old time's sake he's willing to let Brienne try. Jaime says that the Blackfish is even more stubborn than Brienne. Brienne says that The Blackfish wants to stay and fight she will feel honor bound to take The Blackfish's side as she's sworn to Sansa. When Brienne reaches the Blackfish he proves Jaime's assertion to be correct. He questions why Brienne's friend Jaime would let her thru the lines. He points out that he's not seen Sansa since she was a child and wouldn't know her signature. He questions Brienne's gear (Lannister). When he reads Sansa's letter The Blackfish reluctantly recognizes his sister Catelyn's style in the writing. But even if he wanted to leave he just can't. Besides, he doesn't have the numbers. He's unmoved by Brienne saying that he has more men than Sansa. The Blackfish is sorry but he's also fighting for his home and must say no. He's tired of running. Brienne tells Podrick to get word north that she failed.

Jaime visits Edmure Tully. Jaime is affable enough initially, apologizing for the rough treatment of Edmure by the Freys. Edmure doesn't trust Jaime. Having your sister, nephew and various bannermen murdered at the behest of the Lannisters tends to reduce goodwill. Jaime is not bothered by this. War is war, after all. And what ever else is happening he's the one with freedom and an army. Edmure is the one who is imprisoned and living only because Jaime finds it currently useful. Slowly dropping his guise of affability and letting his true nature shine thru, Jaime tells Edmure that the incest rumors are true. He loves his sister very much. Jaime was inspired by the common traits that Cersei and the late Catelyn Stark had. They each possessed a ferocious love for their children. Jaime thinks Edmure is probably the same way. But in any event even if Edmure lacks that attribute, Jaime is anxious to return to Cersei. Jaime is so anxious to get back that if he has to murder Edmure's child with Roslin Frey he will do just that. He would slaughter the entire world for a slice of Cersei's well, you know. Edmure wants to know how Jaime lives with himself but Jaime doesn't care what Edmure thinks.That's the point he's trying to impress upon Edmure you see. Cleaned up and released, Edmure rides up to Riverrun and demands entry. The Blackfish objects because he knows it's a trick. Unfortunately the Tully hierarchy has apparently not previously discussed this eventuality. The Blackfish argues that an order given under duress is no order but the second in-command and apparently most of the Tully warriors are of the opinion that their lord is their lord, no matter what. And Edmure Tully is in their view the legal lord of Riverrun. The Blackfish is not. And they are willing to enforce this view with violence against The Blackfish if need be. Disgusted, The Blackfish backs down. Showing that he has the spine of a jellyfish, once he's inside Edmure Tully orders his men to lay down their weapons and open the gates to the Lannister-Frey armies. If I were in the Tully brigade I might have thrown Edmure over the walls myself. What a wuss. Brienne and Podrick flee. The Blackfish apparently dies fighting offscreen.

In Meereen another Red Priestess is singing the praises of Daenerys. Tyrion and Varys walk thru the streets. Varys is leaving on a secret mission. Is he returning to Westeros? It's unclear. It's a secret mission after all. Back at headquarters, Tyrion is incredibly satisfied with himself. He thinks all his plans and rationality have paid off. He's just so smart. He finally gets Grey Worm and Missandei to lighten up and have some wine with him. Nevertheless neither of his new drinking buddies seems to appreciate Tyrion's sense of humor. Missandei likes the wine though. She also likes Grey Worm, as if that weren't obvious. But this nascent joviality is aborted when alarms ring out. The slavers have gotten themselves a fleet and are attacking Meereen. Battle is joined. Showing that he still has an ego if not his manhood Grey Worm can't resist telling Tyrion that Tyrion was wrong. Tyrion admits he was wrong but still has some ideas about where and how to fight. Grey Worm doesn't want to hear it. It's a military situation. He's running things now. He intends to fight a defensive battle and make the invaders pay. But this is interrupted by Daenerys' return. The Hound has tracked down the last Brotherhood without Banners outlaws but finds that the three remaining men were renegades who are about to be executed by the true Brotherhood without Banners members, led by Beric Dondarrion and Thoros of Myr. The Hound insists that the men are his to kill but Beric disagrees. After some haggling Beric agrees to let The Hound kill two of them, but only by hanging. No axe work or mutilation. Afterwards The Hound sticks around for dinner and listens to Beric and Thoros talk of a great danger coming in the North. They need his help and say that the Hound can still redeem himself. Checking on Arya, Lady Crane sees a young man in her room. Arya wakes up to find The Waif in her room. Lady Crane is dead. This kicks off a chase scene that may have felt epic when it was written but which I found interminable. The Waif pursues Arya through about half of Braavos before she corners her in Arya's little cave. Only this time Arya has Needle. The Waif doesn't care. Arya closes her eyes and extinguishes the candle that lights the cave. Back at the House of Black and White Jaqen H'ghar notices blood on the floor. He follows the blood stains to find a new face on the wall. It's the Waif's face. Arya is behind Jaqen with Needle. She wants to know if Jaqen sent the Waif after her. Jaqen says yes. Jaqen says that finally a girl is no one. Arya disagrees. She says that she is Arya Stark of Winterfell. And she's going home.

What I liked

• I liked the end of the Arya overseas storyline. I liked that the fighting blind training paid off.
• I liked the fact that Edmure Tully was forced to choose between the memory of a dead sister and nephew and the hope/promise of a living son. Whereas The Blackfish could afford to be unfettered about making a last stand, having no children, Edmure couldn't. You could argue that he SHOULD have been especially since his in-laws are the ones who murdered his sister and nephew and are likely to murder him soon but parenthood is a responsibility that can change perspectives.
• I liked the reminder that Jaime is not a nice man. At all.
• Most people would prefer not to go out in a blaze of glory if they have a choice about it. Of course since it's the Freys outside the walls I would be hesitant about surrendering and trusting their word but it is what it is.
• It's a little hamfisted but I think we're supposed to notice that Tommen is always framed listening to and responding to men. Certainly Kevan, Pycelle and The High Sparrow have marginalized The Queen of Thorns, Margaery and Cersei. 

What I didn't like

• I thought that Brynden "The Blackfish" Tully deserved a final onscreen confrontation with either Jaime or Edmure. The actor oozes testosterone and gravitas. 
• It's one thing for Tommen to fall under the influence of the The High Sparrow but little man was just apologizing to Mommy a few episodes ago about not standing up for her. I understand that Cersei has few friends but would Tommen really be so callous about his mother's fate? Mother is everything.
• Sorry but people who get stabbed multiple times in the gut and side take a bit longer to heal, if they ever do. 
• The Missandei-Tyrion-Grey Worm scenes just don't work for me. They don't really like and more importantly don't understand each other. Perhaps this was supposed to be a commentary on the foolishness/arrogance of the White Man's Burden, or White Woman's Burden, since it's part of Daenerys' storyline, but I found the scenes boring. I would like Daenerys to leave for Westeros. I want to see how she fares with people who are war weary and don't care for her claim. I also want to see exactly how a self-styled liberator leads an army of Dothraki and mercenaries that live for rape and slavery.