HBO Game of Thrones Recap: The Broken Man

Well well. Everyone's favorite anti-hero is back. We open up with a group of people making a new building. I think it's going to be a church. Folks are cutting wood, moving stones and sanding lumber. This is hard work. It takes a number of men and women to lift a tree trunk. Usually this seems to be about a four or five person job. And then from behind we see a large man with a limp and a big head carrying a tree trunk all by himself. Well you know who it is don't you. Sandor Clegane, aka The Hound, is alive and well! This episode included a lot of storylines from book 4 of George R.R. Martin's series, A Feast For Crows. That is my least favorite book. Nonetheless I think the show creators did an adequate job bringing these scenes to life-in some cases. In others I think they missed by a country mile. More on that in a second. Anyway Ian McShane, former star of Deadwood, is playing the Septon (Religious leader) of this small group of, well what should we call them? Hippies isn't quite the word I'm looking to use here. Rehab members might be more accurate. Survivors might be the best word to use. Yes, these are people who have survived the wars and found strength in the Faith of The Seven. Some of these people were victims of brutality. Others inflicted brutality. But they all are trying to turn the page on the past and get right with God(s) or more importantly themselves. The Septon found the Hound near death. He was surprised that the Hound didn't die. The Hound says hate kept him going but the Septon thinks that's just deflection. He says that God(s) has(have) a purpose for The Hound. The Septon is a former military man with a profane nature. But he is also spiritual. He says that it doesn't matter what you believe as long as you know there is something greater. The Hound still eats and works alone because many people are scared of him. The Septon would like to change that. The Hound spends a lot of time chopping wood and no that is not a euphemism for anything else. I suppose it (hard physical labor) could be a way for the The Hound to purge the evil and fear from himself. The Hound doubts that any god would want to work thru him.  The Hound says that the Septon doesn't know what's he's done. The Septon says he's heard stories.

Margaery is reading and learning religious texts backwards and forwards in order to show The High Sparrow (THS) her devotion. She also confesses that she pretended to love the poor. THS says that the poor are scary because they show humanity stripped of illusions. THS also would, strictly out of love for the kingdom, like to know why Queen Margaery isn't giving King Tommen any. That's a problem because after all the kingdom needs an heir. As Margaery is taken aback by this slimy priest asking about her sex life she hems and haws. She says that she felt that transitioning past physical desire was a good thing. THS scoffs and says that for women anyway physical desire is not required, just patience. And oh by the way THS is impressed with Margaery's religious fervor. He only hopes that Margaery's grandmother can see the light. Otherwise he's worried about her soul. In fact he's worried about her physical safety. Get the picture? The fact that he's smiling while making such a blatant threat is quite creepy. Margaery meets with Grandma but won't (can't??) dismiss Septa Unella. Margaery tells Grandma that she (Grandma) should leave. Also Loras will be fine. All he has to do is confess his crimes and renounce his claim to Highgarden. The Queen of Thorns is outraged and threatens all sorts of bloody violence. Margaery repeats what she says. The Queen of Thorns is confused and upset but Margaery slips her a torn piece of parchment which I believe she ripped from one of the holy books. Later on the Queen of Thorns looks at it. There's a drawing of a rose. So it looks like Margaery really is playing the long game. After this reveal Cersei and FrankenGregor go to see Grandma Tyrell. The Queen of Thorns is about to leave but she's currently busy writing letters. Hmm. Cersei is all I'm sorry about getting your grandkids hemmed up but that's all in the past. Right now these two women who love their children and grandchildren need to work together. The Queen of Thorns barely pauses from writing her letters (shades of Tywin?) but scoffs at Cersei's outreach. 

Olenna Tyrell says she's not certain if Cersei is the worst person she's ever dealt with, getting old tends to cloud your memory after all, but Cersei's up there. She remembers how Cersei smirked when Margaery was taken. So f*** Cersei and any alliance with Cersei. This current situation is all Cersei's fault as far as the Queen of Thorns is concerned. Grandma Tyrell is leaving Kings Landing before she gets arrested and advises Cersei  to do the same. This is especially the case since Cersei doesn't have control over the Lannister forces or the king or assistance from her brother. The Queen of Thorns says the only good thing to come out of these horrible events is that Cersei has lost. Jon Snow and Sansa Stark are doing the Northern equivalent of the Blues Brothers task of trying to put the band back together. They have mixed results with this as they discover that oaths of allegiance and trust only go so far. People who helped and bled for their father and brother aren't necessarily eager to do so for them. Jon is quickly able to get the wildlings to fight for the Stark restoration by pointing out that even though it's not their fight the Boltons will eventually come for the wildings' women, children, senior citizens and other non-combatants.  Tormund reminds everyone that Jon literally died for the wildlings so the least they can do is return the favor. The giant Wun-Wun agrees and the wildlings are in. Things are a little dicier at Bear Island, currently under the leadership of the 10 year old Lyanna Mormont.  Lyanna Mormont is unmoved by Sansa saying she remembers when Lyanna, named after Sansa's aunt, was born. Although Lyanna previously had expressed unbreakable loyalty to the Stark King in the North she's very abrupt and hostile with Jon and Sansa. Lyanna points out that her mother died at the Red Wedding. Several Mormont soldiers have died fighting for Robb Stark. And the Mormonts fought for the Starks. Strictly speaking Jon is a Snow while Sansa is either a Bolton or Lannister at this point.

Lyanna Mormont appears unmoved by Jon's reminder that he served with distinction under her grandfather at the Wall. Business is business. Lyanna has to consider her own people. She's about to ask Jon and Sansa to leave when Davos steps in, much as he did for Stannis at the Iron Bank. He says he understands her situation and point of view. But the real war between the living and dead is coming. And the Boltons can't win that war. Impressed, Lyanna softens. Well she softens as much as a ten year old bada$$ can soften. She agrees to support House Stark. But she will only provide 62 men. Mormont is a small house, has already lost a lot of men, and as mentioned each house needs to look after its own. But she assures them with a child's fierce certainty that each Mormont warrior is worth tens of any other house's. The wheels fall off the reunion tour when Jon and Sansa turn up at Lord Glover's spot. He agreed to see them out of respect for Ned Stark. But he has no interest in dying for any more Starks. He especially won't fight aside any wildlings. Sansa reminds him of oaths to House Stark. Embittered Lord Glover reminds Sansa and Jon that he and his provided soldiers to Robb Stark, who got them all killed at the Red Wedding. He also reminds the siblings that his wife and family were imprisoned and abused by Ironborn, again thanks to Robb Stark's foolish gamble. And it was the Boltons who helped eject the Ironborn, not the Starks. So much respect to Ned but Ned is dead. House Stark is dead. Now please leave. Jon and Sansa discuss the situation. They have only a few very small houses and a small wilding force. Jon says they need to march on Winterfell now before their army falls apart in feuds. Sansa says they need more men. Seeing a raven Sansa writes a letter without telling Jon. I think you can guess to whom she's writing.

The Lannister army arrives at Riverrun which the Freys are ineptly attempting to siege. Although the Freys are excellent at backstabbing people they're not so great at open military affairs. Bronn and Jaime note with disgust that the Frey force has no scouts, no perimeter security, no pickets, no ditches, no nothing. Anyone could just ride up just like Bronn and Jaime did. Two of the Frey sons, Black Walder and Lothar, who murdered Talisa Stark and Catelyn Stark, at the Red Wedding are threatening to murder Edmure Tully unless his uncle, The Blackfish, yields Riverrun. But the Blackfish knows they're bluffing. And what's more he appears not to care. He refuses to yield. Bronn and Jaime pull rank on the Freys, slapping one. Jaime takes control of Edmure and the siege and directs Bronn to get everything organized. He arranges a parley with The Blackfish. The Blackfish walks out and calmly asks Jaime where is Sansa and Arya? My niece let you go on your oath that you'd bring them back. Jaime has to respond that he doesn't have them. The Blackfish looks at Jaime with something worse than contempt. Jaime says that the war is over. So the Blackfish needs to surrender now and save lives. Referring to the Red Wedding and Jaime's previous act of murdering his king, The Blackfish says that why in the world would he ever trust the word of a Lannister or Frey. Riverrun is his home. As long as The Blackfish is alive the war is not over. So come get some or try to starve them out. The Blackfish doesn't give a flying f***. Theon and Yara are at a brothel/inn. We see that Yara likes the ladies. Theon would just as soon not be there. After making a few jokes about her brother's missing equipment  Yara reminds Theon that she loves him but that he needs to man up, even if he no longer has a man's parts. Otherwise he should just kill himself. The plan as Yara sees it is that they will go ally with Daenerys. But in the meantime she's going to go get laid. With a woman. Which Theon can't do.

The Septon gives a speech to his flock where he talks about being a soldier and all the evil things he did or saw via indifference and following orders. Every atrocity you can imagine he either saw or participated in. Age or sex was no protection. He can't bring those people back. And he will have to carry that shame for the rest of his life. But life goes on. And it's never too late to change. His mission now is to do good in the world. He's looking directly at The Hound while he gives this speech. Near the end of this speech some shady looking horsemen ride up. They don't identify themselves but ask if the Septon and his group have any steel or gold. The Septon says no but the men are welcome to share their love of the Lord if they like. The men say that they protect people. They tell the Septon that the night is dark and full of terrors. Stay safe. They leave. The Hound says those men were from the Brotherhood without Banners and will be back. The group needs to either leave or get ready to fight. The Septon says that violence is a disease. It won't be solved by spreading it to others. The Septon has made his choice. The Hound grunts disapproval, saying that violence won't be solved by dying either. In Braavos, Arya has booked next day passage on a ship to Westeros, smartly keeping the payment until she actually gets on the ship. But it's an open question as to whether she'll be on that ship. The Waif, disguised as an old woman, has located Arya. She stabs Arya a number of times in the belly before Arya falls over the bridge into the below canal. The Waif waits and watches until she's satisfied that Arya is dead. 
But Arya is not dead. She surfaces and stumbles through the streets. She's bleeding out fast.
The Hound is away chopping wood when he hears distant screams. He runs to the camp. The Brotherhood without Banners has attacked. It looks like everyone is dead. The outlaws have hanged the Septon from his own unfinished sept. The Hound doesn't exactly cry but you can see a number of emotions playing across his face. He picks up his axe.

What I liked

• No Daenerys
• I would fight and die for The Blackfish. Home team has got heart
• Lady Lyanna Mormont
• The ugly reality that people who either loved, worked for or were afraid of your parents will not necessarily relate to you in that way. For a lot of people such obligations terminate with death.
• The fact that the Freys are shown as inept and disliked by all.
• That The High Sparrow is getting so arrogant and pushy. I think he's coming up for a big fall.

What I didn't like

• Although I didn't care for the book on which the Hound's scenes were based, there is a pretty well written speech that the Septon gives on how war breaks men. You can listen to it here if you like. This episode only had poor echoes of it. I thought Ian McShane was underutilized. I thought there should have been more than one episode to show how The Septon was important to his flock and how any man or woman can struggle with non-violence in a violent world. That was mostly skipped just to turn The Hound back to violence.
• Similarly it would have been worthwhile to get a little more explanation of how the Brotherhood Without Banners changed from protecting the smallfolk to robbing, raping and murdering them. This is actually somewhat important in a critique of war and violence. Again maybe just some previous mentions of trouble in the Riverlands or showing them robbing someone under the guise of "protection"?
• Short episode
• Again, no one outside of the Wall knows or would believe that Jon returned from the dead. Last they knew he was Lord Commander. So shouldn't the tricky issue of desertion come up?

HBO Game of Thrones Recap: Blood of My Blood

The show has moved past the published books, but nevertheless still has a few plot lines from the published books to explore. Although I think some of these worked better than others I am impressed with how well the show does with some themes that bored me to tears on the written page. But then again there are also some story lines which seem to be pretty circular. More on that in a moment. Anyhow we open up with Meera doing her best to drag Bran and his cart through the snowy forest. But Meera is not Brienne. And Bran is not a little kid anymore. Meera does her best but the walking dead are gaining on her and Bran. Bran is time traveling again but this time he's seeing events happen almost all at once. He's seeing his father's murder, the Mad King's pronouncements and death, battles, etc. The cart gets stuck. Meera is exhausted and finally can't go on any longer. At that point a horseman with a covered face rides up. He has a flaming flail which he puts to good use against the dead. He seemingly effortlessly lifts Bran and Meera onto the horse and rides off. Later on this fellow, who doesn't quite look all that healthy, kills a rabbit for food while telling Bran the last time that he saw him he was much younger. Yes you guessed it. It's long lost uncle Benjen Stark. When last seen Benjen was leading an expedition north of the Wall looking for White Walkers. Well he found them. He got a spear through his guts for his troubles. But the Children of the Forest healed him or rather, slowed the change from human to Wight. Benjen is certainly not completely human anymore. But neither is he the walking dead. He's something else. Benjen says that the Three Eyed Raven summoned him to protect Bran. And since he says Bran is the Three Eyed Raven now it's not clear if Bran has always been the Three Eyed Raven or if Benjen was referring to the previous man with that title. Bran says he's not ready but Benjen says that the Night King will come to the Wall where Bran will meet him. Only all of human existence may rest on Bran's shoulders.That doesn't look good for the humans, let me tell you.

Sam and Gilly are riding to Sam's home of Horn Hill. They have what appears to be an official escort. Sam yammers on about different trees and climates throughout Westeros but Gilly can tell that he's just talking because he's nervous. That's okay as she finds that preferable to uncomfortable silences. Sam reminds Gilly that it's a matter of some importance to remember that (1) as far as his family is concerned Sam Jr. is his biological son and (2) Gilly doesn't need to mention that she's a wildling. Sam's father Randyll, who is apparently one fierce dude, doesn't like wildlings. Sam is apprehensive of seeing his father again. Being around people who promise to kill you unless you leave home will do that I guess. Upon arrival Sam's mother and sister are happy to see him. His father and brother are out hunting. At the family dinner Gilly is uncomfortable with the finery and the silverware while Sam is downright petrified. Do you remember the last time one of your parents was really angry or frustrated with you? I don't mean normal annoyance but actual rage or contempt. Well multiply that by about ten thousand and you'll still not reach the intensity of the "What a putz" death glare that Randyll Tarly is giving his first born son. He doesn't think the Night's Watch has changed Sam at all. Randyll is direct and surprisingly canny. He's unimpressed with Sam's stories of small game hunting. When Sam asks for more bread from his mother his father interrupts to say "I guess you aren't fat enough already." Gilly can't take any more of this. She tells Randyll of Sam's deeds of daring, including protecting her north of the Wall and killing White Walkers and Thenns.

Well nobody believes in White Walkers, but Randyll picks up on the "north of the Wall" slip that Gilly made. He figures out that she is a wildling. He is disgusted that his son is literally sleeping with the enemy. He says that he thought Gilly was just a Molestown whore but apparently he overestimated his son. Imagine that. The women leave the dinner table., disappointed with Randyll's biting cruelty. Randyll gets down to brass tacks. He says that it's disgraceful that Sam brought such a woman to his dinner table. Gilly can stay and work in the kitchens but Sam needs to leave. He is not welcome. Not now. Not ever. Sam meekly accepts this. Later on Gilly tries to cheer up Sam. Sam apologizes for not standing up to his Dad. He says that making sure that she and Sam Jr. are safe is the most important thing. He leaves. But then showing he has some stones after all Sam says f*** it and comes back for Gilly and Sam Jr. He also takes his father's prized Valyrian sword, Heartsbane. Sam says that if Daddy wants it back he can come and get it. Tommen goes to see the High Sparrow (THS). Tommen is not happy about Margaery's upcoming walk of shame. Tommen is trying to find a way to stop this. THS lets Tommen see Margaery. Margaery is very calm. She speaks in platitudes. She claims THS has actually helped her understand and deal with her sins. Tommen's confused as usual. Margaery says that everyone needs to atone. Margaery seems to be bursting with happiness of all things. Jaime watches the Tyrell army enter, led by Mace Tyrell. The true Tyrell leader, Olenna, is in a coach listening to her son's bluster. No one seems super inspired by Mace's speech but orders are orders. Spears are lowered and shields are raised. Margaery, attended by THS and surrounded by crowds and the Faith Militant, is about to start her walk when Jaime, virtually radiating bad intentions, rides up to THS and tells him to back down. Give up Margarey and Loras or there will be blood. 

THS tells Jaime to a) come get one in the yarbles and b) he and his don't fear death, they welcome it. There's some more "Yeah you're gonna do what???" tough guy talk before THS seemingly backs down. He says there will be no walk of atonement for Margaery. But the reason for this is that THS says that Margaery has atoned by bringing someone else into the true light of faith. The doors of the Sept open and out walks Tommen, with Kingsguard wearing the seven pointed star of the faith. Mace doesn't understand but his mother peevishly tells him that THS has beaten them again. Shortly after this clusterf***, Tommen removes Jaime as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard. Attacking the faith is a big no-no. He's sending Jaime out of the city to go take Riverrun back. It seems that Littlefinger was telling the truth about the Tully regrouping. Later on, as the incest doublemint twins engage in foreplay, Jaime tells his sister that rather than leave her to go to the Riverlands, he'd rather kill THS. He thinks he can hire Bronn and a few good men to do that. Cersei, of all people, counsels patience. Sometimes you must smile in your enemies' faces. Jaime is worried about his sister's upcoming trial but she reminds him that she has the (undead) Mountain. We cut away before the twincest commences in earnest. Speaking of Riverrun Walder Frey is very angry that his sons have lost Riverrun and allowed the Blackfish (Catelyn's uncle) to make it a center of resistance. Walder reminds them that the Tullys have lorded it over the Freys for three centuries, but that the Red Wedding should have put an end to that. The Frey sons protest that it's not their fault but that some other families are rising up in support of the Blackfish. Sounding like several middle managers I have known Walder says that it IS their fault. Don't give him any excuses or bring him any bad news. He's tired of people laughing at the Freys. He tells his sons to make the Blackfish yield or else. To help them on this mission he tells them to take Edmure Tully with them and threaten his life.

In Braavos Arya watches the actors depict the events of the Purple Wedding, where Joffrey died. She likes seeing Joffrey die. She's impressed by Lady Crane's soliloquy as Cersei. The actress playing Sansa also watches Lady Crane closely even though she's not in the scene. Arya steals backstage. After a brief period of hesitation she poisons Lady Crane's rum. The play is over. The actors, excited and squabbling as usual, come backstage. One of the interesting thing about humans is that we are prone to recognizing faces after we've seen them a few times. Lady Crane recognizes Arya. Arya claims to be a fan named Mercy and even suggests a few changes to the script. Lady Crane is amused. She says she can only work with what she's given. THIS statement causes a big fight as one of the other actors, who apparently doubles as writer, takes offense. He's sarcastic about his writing not being good enough for an actress of Lady Crane's talents but it will have to do won't it? Resentments flare all around as the other actors seem to know that Lady Crane is better than they are. But Arya has deduced who wants Lady Crane dead. Arya's made a decision. She slaps the poisoned drink out of Lady Crane's hands. Arya points to the actress playing Sansa and tells Lady Crane to be careful of her, she wants you dead. However the Waif has also infiltrated the troupe. As you might expect she can't wait to run and tell Jaqen H'ghar what went down. Busy slicing a face off a corpse Jaqen says Arya's desertion is a shame because she had gifts. Oh well. He tells the Waif that when she kills Arya, don't let her suffer. Meanwhile Arya has retrieved her sword Needle. She's hiding out underground. In what I thought was the night's most pointless scene Daenerys reunites with Drogon. In a deliberate echo to her husband Khal Drogo's speech she asks her men if they will cross the black sea, kill the men in the iron suits and tear down their stone houses. When they reply in the affirmative she tells them that they are all her bloodriders. She will ask them more than any Khal has ever asked but they will accomplish more than anyone else ever has.

What I liked

• The conclusion of the Arya training storyline. She's Arya, not no one. It might have been more effective if we had ever had any doubt that she wasn't but so it goes.
• Randyll Tarly was everything that I imagined he would be. That "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" scene was well written and well acted. No death. No nudity. No magic. Just uncomfortable family dynamics.
• The show seems to do better, even though this episode was mostly transitional, when it cuts down on jumping between multiple scenes.
• Margaery is playing a long game. I'm not sure how it works yet but she knows that she can't trust Tommen to stand up for her. And she loves her brother very much. Of course Margaery didn't know of her father's and grandmother's plans.
• Good to see Walder Frey again. I wish him a slow painful humiliating death but it was still good to see him.
• Interested to see where this Tully last stand goes.
• The Daario throwaway line that Daenerys is a conqueror, not ruler could portend some changes in how the show depicts Daenerys. She's mostly been seen thru the lens of grrlpower and rightful ruler and liberator of slaves but that might not be how the people at the bottom see her. Remember that Robb Stark was the good guy but as that scene with Brienne showed us Robb had rapists and murderers in his army. You don't engage in war without harming innocents.

What I didn't like

• The Daenerys travelogues are starting to get more than tedious. Surprise the nasty misogynist men who underestimate you? Give inspiring speech? Burn enemies? Been there done that. Less talking more doing.
• As long as Uncle Benjen is going to show up just in time why couldn't he have been there before Hodor and Summer went the way of all flesh?
• Wouldn't Cersei and Jaime and Olenna have figured out by now that Tommen is the weak sister of the group. They should have ensured that Tommen was kept away from THS.

HBO Game of Thrones Recap: The Door

Before this season started showrunners Benioff and Weiss said that they didn't see more than thirteen episodes after this season's completion. Based on how recent events are turning out I wonder if that estimate might have been generous. This show is definitely in the home stretch. It's ruthless in cutting down story lines and characters. There are multiple confirmations of some long held fan theories, some of which were a definite minority opinion. I really wish that I had been able to get most of this from the books instead of the show but as many people have pointed out GRRM works at his pace, not ours. He's made his decisions. So it goes. Anyway we open up at Castle Black with Sansa sewing something in what I am sure is a reference back to happier days at Winterfell when she showed great aptitude at needlework, unlike her tomboy sister Arya. Sansa has received a letter from Littlefinger. She goes to see him but takes Brienne along with her. Littlefinger is very happy to see her unharmed as he says. Sansa scoffs at this and wants to know if Littlefinger knew what kind of man Ramsay Bolton was. She points out that Littlefinger sold her from one group of people who murdered her family to another group of people who murdered her family. And she says that she is still damaged from Ramsay's perversions and rapes, not just mentally or emotionally but physically. Sansa says that she's sure a filthy whore monger like Littlefinger knows exactly what she's talking about even though high born ladies aren't supposed to speak of such things. Sansa says why shouldn't she just have Brienne kill Littlefinger right then and there. Littlefinger says he's sorry and would die for her if need be. Sansa says that she doesn't need or trust Littlefinger. Sansa says that she and her brother Jon will retake the North without Littlefinger's assistance. Littlefinger tells Sansa that that's all well and good if she doesn't want his help but her great uncle Brynden Tully has reconstituted some Tully forces and taken Riverrun. Maybe Sansa should ask him for help. And Littlefinger points out that Jon is Sansa's half-brother, not full brother.

In Braavos Arya is still getting her butt beaten by the Waif when they spar with quarterstaffs. Arya is better but the Waif is just that good. In fact the Waif is so much better than Arya that she contemptuously fights Arya without a quarterstaff and still wins. The Waif says this is because Arya is still "Lady Stark". The Waif doesn't think that Arya can ever forsake her previous identity. The Waif is offended that Arya is even there. Watching this Jaqen H'ghar explains to Arya that the first Faceless Men were former slaves who founded Braavos. He gives Arya a new target. He tells her that this is her second and final chance. The target is an actress by name of Lady Crane. Going to the theater to watch her mark, Arya is offended to see the acting troupe portray her sister as a busty dimwit and her father as a corrupt bumbling oaf. By the way for all the people who were complaining that this show didn't have enough male nudity the theater scene throws in an actor complaining about a possible STD mark on his member. Said body part temporarily fills the screen. Are you happy now? Infiltrating the group backstage Arya is privy to all of their worries, banter and rivalries. Reporting back to Jaqen, Arya says that she can poison Lady Crane's rum. But Arya has come to like Lady Crane. Arya doesn't think Lady Crane is such a bad sort, and wants to know who had paid for her murder. Why is Lady Crane on the list? Showing that he's getting a bit annoyed Jaqen reminds his apprentice that death comes for everyone good or bad. He also says that servants don't ask questions. One way or another there is going to be a new face hanging in the House of Black and White. Jaqen isn't going to accept any other questions or half-measures. Either Arya is no one, a servant of the Many Faced God or she is not. Decide.

Bran and The Three Eyed Raven (TER) are time travelling again. Presumably at the same weirwood tree they presently inhabit, Bran watches the Children of the Forest sacrifice a man by killing him with an obsidian knife. The man is reborn as a White Walker. Returning back to the present Bran confronts one of the Children who confirms that she and her kind created the White Walkers as a last ditch defense against humanity.
At the Kingsmoot Yara makes a claim to the Salt Throne (rulership of the Ironborn). She lists her qualifications and history. Yara says she will lead the Ironbron to true glory. Some more conservatively minded Iron Born don't like it because not only is she a woman but the man who they see as the true heir (Theon) is still alive. Theon steps in the circle to his sister's initial dismay. But never fear, he supports Yara. But the family unity and Yara's chance of taking leadership are destroyed by Uncle Euron's arrival. Euron claims the kingship. And by the way he's a man. He has a penis. Yara never did; Theon lost his. Yara accuses Euron of kinslaying while Theon reminds everyone that Euron has been gone for years. But much like some present day politicians, Euron adeptly defuses both charges by admitting to them. Euron says that his brother Balon led them into two pointless wars. Euron's only sorry that he didn't kill Balon earlier. As to the desertion charge, Euron says he's been all over the world and is a better man to lead the Ironborn because of it. He knows of Daenerys, her dragons and her need for a fleet. Euron has such a fleet. Euron says he will marry Daenerys, give her what Theon no longer can, and conquer all of Westeros. He will make the Iron Islands great again. This carries the day and Euron is acclaimed the new king. Theon and Yara don't wait around for the crowning (drowning) ceremony, and their presumable murders, but make away with what looks like half of the fleet. Euron says that's okay. They will build more ships. And he will hunt down his niece and nephew and kill them.

At Vaes Dothrak Ser Friendzone reveals his greyscale to Daenerys and says hey it's been real, I love you and I've just got to go. Cue Isaac Hayes music. Daenerys tears up and orders Jorah to find a cure and return to her. Jorah watches as Daenerys marches off with her Dothraki army. In Meereen the peace is holding. Grey Worm and Missandei still don't like it but Tyrion thinks this is confirmation that he was right to make deals with the slavers. Now all he needs is better PR for Daenerys (and himself) in Meereen. Who better to provide that then the local dominant religion. The Red Priestess Kinvara, attired in the normal revealing gown comes to see Tyrion and company. She already knows what they want. She agrees to help sing Daenerys' praises. After all she thinks that Daenerys is the One Who Was Promised. Varys scoffs at this and rather atypically reveals his passionate distrust of all religions. As Varys says Melisandre said Stannis was the One Who Was Promised. And Stannis lost. And Stannis is dead. So perhaps religious fanatics don't know as much as they say they do. But Kinvara does not lose her equanimity. She says that people make mistakes but God doesn't. She also knows some of the events that occurred the night that Varys was castrated. These are things she shouldn't know. Varys is shaken. At Castle Black, Jon Snow and group are looking at maps of the North. Jon says that they need more men. And he doesn't see where they are going to get them. Sansa says that with a Stark name to follow that the other houses will rise up. Meaning no offense, Davos says that if that were the case why didn't they do so already. Sansa wonders how well the southerner Davos knows the North. Davos concedes that he doesn't know the North but pivots smartly by saying he's been all over. He knows men. They need something more. Sansa says that Jon and she both have the Stark name. If they go to the smaller houses they should be able to unify them against Ramsay and the larger houses backing him. She also reveals that they might be able to count on her great uncle Brynden. However for whatever reason she doesn't tell Jon where she got this information from, lying and saying she heard the news about the Tullys at Winterfell.

So it's settled, Jon and Sansa will travel through the North trying to raise resistance while Brienne, at Sansa's orders, will go to Riverrun to ask for help from what's left of the Tullys. Brienne doesn't like this plan. She doesn't like leaving Sansa alone among men she doesn't know. Sansa says that she'll be fine. After all Jon is her brother. Brienne counters that it wasn't reallyJon she was worried about but speaking of Jon why did Sansa lie to him if she trusts him? Tormund is still giving Brienne the old "I wonder what you look like naked and in my bed" stare. Sansa has sewn a wolf sigil on her dress. She's also done her best to recreate the wolf's cloak that her father used to wear as Lord of Winterfell and Warden of The North. She gives the cloak to Jon. Bran wakes up and finds that everyone else is asleep. He time travels again by himself. It's unclear if he is going to the future or the past. He sees the army of the dead but they don't see him. Then he sees the White Walkers and the Night King. The Night King does see him and then so does everyone else. The Night King grabs Bran but Bran comes back to his own time/body. The TER says that Bran has been marked. The Night King will come for him and will no longer be deterred by the wards against his entry. Thanks a lot Bran! They have little time left. Bran must become the TER.
Meera wants to go home and has a bad feeling about what's going on. Bran and TER are time travelling again. They are in Winterfell watching as a young Ned Stark prepares to leave for his fostering in the Vale. Ned's father tells him not to start any fights but if he finds himself in one, win. In our time Meera just doesn't like something. She runs outside and sees that the Army of the Dead, along with White Walkers and the Night King have come. The Children of the Forest try to hold them off but there are too many. They inexorably press forward. Meera tries to wake Bran up to get him to warg into Hodor. Bran can only hear her vaguely. Now the White Walkers are inside the weirwood cave. Meera kills a White Walker with an obsidian spear but as mentioned the good guys are outnumbered exponentially. And since it's Sunday it must be time for another Stark direwolf to die. Summer makes a last stand. He jumps into the fray and goes out hard. There's a final piteous whimper and that's it for him. In the past TER tells Bran to listen to your friend. Still in the past Bran wargs into Hodor (apparently both past Hodor or Willas and present day Hodor). In the present the Night King kills TER, who disintegrates in the past. In the present the warged Hodor is pulling Bran away as he and Meera run for the back exit. 

The last remaining of the Children of the Forest, Leaf(?), sacrifices herself to get them more time. With the wights close on their heels Bran, Meera and Hodor make it out the back door. Meera takes Bran and yells back at Hodor to hold the door. In the past Hodor has apparently had a seizure as a result of the warging. His eyes have rolled back as Bran has warged into him.  He's screaming "Hold the door!" repeatedly. He shortens this to "Holdadoor" and eventually to "Hodor!". In the present Hodor is yelling Hodor over and over again as he does indeed hold the door long enough for Bran and Meera to escape even as the wights stab him through the door and later rip him apart.

What I liked

• There is confirmation that Bran can change the past or to put it another way actions today can have impact on the past. 
• There is confirmation that the White Walkers are modified humans created by the original inhabitants of Westeros in order to fight the invading humans. At the very least this might give Bran pause about accepting assistance from the Children of the Forest or taking everything they tell him as the gospel truth.
• Sansa finally catching on to some truths about Littlefinger. I thought the actress did a great job with that confrontation scene even if I don't like what the writers did with the aftermath. Why not accept Littlefinger's help and then arrange an accident for him up north?
• Littlefinger's essentially Satanic attempt to maintain influence with Sansa and sow doubt in her mind by saying that Jon is her half-brother. Littlefinger always mixes lies and truth for his own benefit.
• Theon's backing of his sister's claim even though it didn't work out. 

What I didn't like

• I hate seeing the wolves killed off. 
• If Bran would have minded his own business (not go climbing when he wasn't supposed to and not go time traveling when he wasn't supposed to) the entire history of Westeros would be different. Seriously to hell with that kid.
• Last week Littlefinger is in the Vale this week he's in the North? Does he have a helicopter? Subway? Air balloon?
• If Sansa knows that Littlefinger is not a good man, then why trust what he said about her great-uncle. Why hide from Jon where she got that information? Why send Brienne away?
• I know the Iron Born pride themselves more on direct action than sly intrigue but how stupid do you have to be not to have a guard on the ships?
• Hodor's maiming and death. 
• Perhaps the show is making a point that these are close to end times and so taboos are breaking down but along with incest and violation of guest right, kinslaying is supposed to be one of the big no-nos. It seems a little odd that Euron would freely admit to it.

HBO Game of Thrones Recap: Book of the Stranger

Well that was fun. This was both a transitional episode that set up later events and one which also moved the story forward in some very pleasing ways. I liked the balance displayed in this episode between talking and action. I hope that it continues. We open with Jon Snow packing up his belongings and preparing to leave Castle Black. Dolorous Edd is not super happy about Jon's decision, especially as Jon knows the dangers behind the wall. Jon is of the opinion that all of that is someone else's problem now especially since he has technically lived up to his vows. He gave his life to the Night's Watch. Jon still hasn't gotten over that whole my so-called brothers killed me thing. The quarrel between Edd and Jon has to be put on hold because FINALLY there is a Stark reunion. Brienne, Podrick and Sansa Stark arrive at Castle Black. Jon is shocked and happy to see Sansa. Later on they reminisce together about all the silly stupid things they did in those days before their parents were murdered, their family was scattered and war broke out. Sansa apologizes for looking down on Jon for his illegitimate status though Jon says no apology is needed. They both regret leaving Winterfell. But speaking of Winterfell Sansa tells Jon that they must take it back and eject Ramsay for otherwise they'll never be safe. Jon says he's tired of fighting and killing. Sansa says that Winterfell belongs to the Starks not Ramsay. She wants Jon to help her but she'll do it by herself if need be. In the courtyard Davos catches up with an atypically tired looking Melisandre to ask her what her plans are. She doesn't know. She says she will do whatever Jon (The Prince Who Was Promised) wants her to do. Davos says wasn't that what you called Stannis?  Now that the excitement has temporarily died down Davos finally (he's loyal but maybe not the quickest thinking fellow) asks Melisandre what happened to Stannis and by the way where is Shireen? Brienne is lurking about and interrupts, fixing both Davos and Melisandre with a cold glare. She says she was there when Renly was murdered by Melisandre's magic. She also says that she killed Stannis. She waits a moment to see if there's going to be any static from Davos or Melisandre over this. She also says she doesn't forgive or forget before stomping off. Ok then.

Littlefinger has returned to the Vale with a gift of a gyrfalcon for Lord Robin. Robin is ineptly practicing archery. Lord Royce wants to know how is it that Sansa wound up married to Ramsay Bolton when she was supposed to be under Littlefinger's protection. Littlefinger makes up the obvious lie that they were attacked by Bolton forces. He also insinuates that Royce was the only one who knew the itinerary. When Royce tells him to step into the Octagon and say that, Littlefinger adroitly hides behind Robin's "authority" and makes it look like Royce is challenging Robin, which of course would mean execution via the sky door. The previously bored Robin would have no problem executing Royce. Royce must back down. Littlefinger has apparently heard of Sansa's escape, and is easily able to manipulate Robin into agreeing to send some undetermined number of Vale soldiers to the North. In what I thought was a reference to difference of experience between politicians and the communities which they claim to serve or represent Tyrion has decided to negotiate with the representatives of the slaver cities. Tyrion claims to have experience being enslaved. Missandei scornfully notes that Tyrion was enslaved for all of five minutes. Tyrion proposes that the slavers can gradually wean themselves from slavery over a seven year period. They will also receive compensation for their economic loss. In return the slavers will withdraw support for the Sons of the Harpy in Meereen. To seal the deal Tyrion offers the slavers prostitutes. Grey Worm and Missandei especially hate this. Later when incredulous citizens (and former slaves) hear of the deal which Tyrion has made they are upset. From loyalty to Daenerys Missandei and Grey Worm offer razor thin support in public but they each make it clear to Tyrion that they don't think he knows what he's doing. Slavery is not just an economic process. The slavers can not be trusted, no matter how smart Tyrion thinks he is. More on this below in a moment.

Essos' famous Odd Couple Jorah and Daario have tracked their queen to Vaes Dothrak. Daario is apparently feeling either threatened or triumphant because he won't stop needling Jorah about the fact that Daenerys and Daario do this a lot, while Jorah doesn't. But Daario thinks that as old as Jorah is he likely couldn't keep up or keep it up with Daenerys for that matter. This finally seems to bring Jorah out of his Zen state. He says that after they find Daenerys that he and Daario can settle accounts but for now they need to prepare to infiltrate Vaes Dothrak. There are no weapons allowed in the city so Jorah starts removing his arms and demanding those of Daario. Daario notices that Jorah has greyscale and says he'll remove his own weapons thank you very much. During the night the two unarmed men are moving through the Dothraki city when they are accosted by two soldiers who see thru Jorah's flimsy story of being a wine merchant. A fight breaks out. Daario quickly kills his opponent. But apparently age and greyscale have caught up with Jorah. Jorah's getting a mudhole stomped in his behind, Dothraki style, when Daario stabs Jorah's opponent from behind. Daario never leaves his knives behind. They hide the bodies and attempt to cover up the knife wound. Daenerys claims to find the lecturing and the body odor of the older widows offensive. She says she needs to use the bathroom. She's accompanied by a younger widow who was abused by her khal. This younger widow wants to hear about the dragons and how Daenerys did things. And surprise, surprise, surprise up pop Jorah and Daario. They want to leave right now before the bodies are discovered and alarms are raised. But Daenerys has a plan.

In King's Landing a septa takes Margaery Tyrell to see the High Sparrow. He dismisses her desire to see her family saying that her family only represents sin. He details his own origin story to her. The point is that he's a very self-righteous man who may still feel guilt. He definitely feels disgust towards the wealthy. He claims that the poor and the beggars are closer to the truth than anyone else. The High Sparrow allows Margaery to see her brother Loras. Loras has been beaten and tortured. He's in a pretty sorry state of affairs. Margaery correctly intuits that the High Sparrow's only purpose in allowing the two siblings to briefly see each other is to rush their confessions. Loras says he can't hold out much longer, despite Margaery's admonitions to be strong. Pycelle is talking to King Tommen urging him to be cautious in dealing with the High Sparrow. Cersei arrives and is po'd to find Pycelle talking to her son without her knowledge or presence. She orders him out but a gloating Pycelle won't leave until Tommen tells him to do so. And even then he takes his sweet time about it, rolling his eyes at Cersei every step of the way. Alone, Cersei admits to Tommen that no she doesn't really like Margaery but that's not the point. The point is that the High Sparrow represents a much greater threat to the established order. It's a point that she and Jaime make again to their Uncle Kevan and Olenna Tyrell. It's time for the nobles to stop their bickering and come together against this religious, even revolutionary threat to their class interests. Olenna is non-committal initially but changes her mind when Cersei informs her of the High Sparrow's plans to have Margaery make a walk of atonement. The plan is to have the Tyrell armies take out the Faith Militant while Kevan and company pretend neutrality. Olenna is outraged at anyone doing to Margaery what was done to Cersei.

Theon has arrived at the Iron Islands but his sister Yara is not happy to see him. She is embarrassed by his weakness, angry that she lost men trying to save him and suspicious that he's going to try to make a play for leadership. He was dead to her. She's surprised to hear that he escaped. Theon semi-apologizes. He says that Ramsay broke him. At this point he just wants to assist Yara to sit on the Salt Throne. Osha is brought in to see Ramsay who is peeling apples. Osha claims to be unimpressed with Ramsay and to have no special love for the Starks. Ramsay wants to know why he should keep her around. Osha says don't you want what all men want. She jumps on top of Ramsay. She's reaching for Ramsay's dagger which is tantalizingly out of reach. While she's trying to wake up Ramsay's little Bolton, Ramsay tells Osha that she's not as talkative as Theon, who for example told Ramsay all about who seduced him and helped Bran and Rickon Stark to escape. Osha lunges for the knife but Ramsay is quicker. He stabs Osha in the neck with his paring knife. While Osha bleeds out on the floor, Ramsay wipes off the blade and goes back to eating his apple. At Castle Black Jon and company are eating in silence. In a bit of silent humor Tormund is sizing up Brienne. Whether he is thinking about fighting her or doing something else is anyone's guess. The food isn't very good. They receive a letter from Ramsay. In typical Ramsay fashion he insults everyone. He says give Sansa back to him or he will kill Rickon. And then he'll rape Sansa and pass her along to his soldiers. He calls himself Lord of Winterfell. This gets Jon's goat. Sansa says they must fight this monster. Jon silently agrees. But Tormund only has maybe 2000 fighting men, not enough to win against Ramsay's 5000.

In the episode's last and most powerful scene the assembled Khals are discussing what to do with Daenerys. She is brought before them. Some men think she should stay with the widows. Some men want to sell her to Yunkai. Others think that since she is a foreigner and left the Dothraki she deserves no widow's protection. But all of the men are shocked and offended when Daenerys dares to speak for herself, a big no no. Khal Moro says that ok that's it then. Daenerys will be gang-raped to show her her proper place. Daenerys says that this is the place where Khal Drogo promised to conquer the world on her behalf. The other Khals say she was a dummy to believe it. Daenerys says that the current Khals are small men with no imagination and have no right to lead the Dothraki. So she will lead the Dothraki. When they laugh at this and say they will never serve her, Daenerys replies "You're not going to serve. You're going to die." She overturns the lit braziers. The whole place goes up in flames. Just so it's quite clear to everyone that Daenerys is special there are closeups of her grasping the hot metal of the brazier for relatively long periods of time. No one escapes because Jorah and Daario have barred the doors. Eventually the whole place crashes down in flames. Daenerys walks out nude and unburnt. Everyone kneels.

What I liked

• No Arya storyline or Dorne storyline. Until Arya gets back to Westeros somehow I'm not all that interested in what she's doing. And I was never interested in Dorrne.
• The "Pink Letter" from the last book (Ramsay's letter to Jon) was nicely done.
• Davos, if somewhat belatedly, trying to discover Shireen's fate. If he does that has to fracture the seeming alliance between Jon, Davos, Melisandre and the wildlings.
• Tyrion's assumptions that slavery is not that different from feudalism, he can negotiate with anyone, and that he knows slavery better than people who were born into it or suffered it for years. I think he's going to learn that he's made mistakes with all of those premises. It's hard being unyiedlingly righteous as Daenerys is and perhaps Ned Stark was, but there are some compromises which can't be made. I'm looking forward to seeing  what happens next in this storyline.
• Daenerys' showing why they call her "Unburnt". It's maybe a repeat of previous storylines but I liked it. It also moves the narrative forward. Let's get her out of Essos now.
• Missandei stepping in to translate for Tyrion. I thought it a foreshadowing and callback to the idea that Tyrion doesn't understand the culture he's dealing with.
• A more forceful Sansa. I'm not sure it made sense this quickly when we looked at the frightened woman who couldn't cross a river an episode or two ago but I'm glad to see it.

What I didn't like

• Not much. I thought maybe Royce backed down too quickly but Robin is unstable while Littlefinger is dangerous.
• The whole idea of Jon going south by himself is sort of silly. No one outside of the The Wall knew he was dead so wouldn't he have been seen as a deserter subject to execution?

HBO Game of Thrones Recap: Oathbreaker

Jon Snow is back! And that is exactly the reaction that Davos and Melisandre (attired again in her normal revealing dress) have upon seeing him. Davos is the first to see Jon alive again. Both Davos and Melisandre are interested in knowing what Jon saw or remembers during his time in the afterlife but Jon remembers nothing. All he knows is that his fellow Night's Watch members murdered him and that Olly stabbed him in the heart. Jon is shocked and disoriented. He thinks he shouldn't be here. Melisandre thinks that if Jon is back he must be part of the Lord of Light's plan. Melisandre thinks that Jon is the Prince Who Was Promised. Jon doesn't know anything about that. Jon says he tried to do the right thing and got murdered for it so it must mean that he failed. Davos says that Jon must continue to do the right thing even he thinks he's failed. The Night's Watch members and Free Folk are suitably shocked and impressed to see Jon up and walking. Some of them think that Jon is a god. Sam and Gilly are on a ship to Oldtown. Sam is seasick. A lot. Gilly is watching him with big goo goo eyes. She is proud of being able to read. She explains to Sam her previous confusion about homophones like sea and see. Between upchucks Sam explains to Gilly that as women aren't actually allowed to be maesters he intends to take her to his former home, Horn Hill, where hopefully his kind mother will take her in. His mother doesn't actually make the decisions though. Sam's martinet father, Randyll Tarly does. So that plan is sorta iffy. Gilly doesn't care about Sam's well intentioned deception or his changing of plans without consulting her. She's like whatever Sam, just as long as I am around you. Gilly has absolute trust in Sam. Cute. Given this show's history though you wonder how long that is going to last. I must say Sam, if someone looks at you with love while you're puking your guts up then that woman is probably a keeper. Even if her son is her brother. Gilly has told Sam that she considers him to be the father of her child. And if's that not love then I don't know what is.

Bran and the Three Eyed Raven (TER) are time traveling again. They are watching as Ned Stark and six of his bannermen go to fight three Kingsguard members, including Arthur Dayne, at the Tower of Joy. After some boasting from both sides about what they're going to do to each other and some leading questions about why the Kingsguard weren't at the battle with Rhaegar and why Rhaegar instead ordered them to be at the Tower of Joy, the fight begins. It's not anywhere near as epic as I imagined it but nonetheless it's soon evident that the Kingsguard are more skilled than Ned and his men. But numbers tell. Eventually it's Ned, Howland Reed and two others against the last standing Kingsguard, Arthur Dayne. Just because he apparently wants to signal to viewers that he's a bada$$, Dayne fights with two swords. Dayne takes out Reed, kills two others and then turns his considerable talent against Ned. Bran, like most young children would be, is a little discomfited to learn that dear old Dad is not actually the best in the world at everything. There is a significant skills gap between Ned Stark and Arthur Dayne when it comes to swordsmanship. Ned's no punk but he's just not on Dayne's level. Dayne has disarmed Ned and is about to go in for the kill, when just like a WWE wrestling match here comes the wounded but not dead Howland Reed back from the mat! He stabs Dayne in the neck from behind; Ned finishes him off. The whole thing gets Bran upset since that's not how he heard the story. Ned hears a woman screaming from the tower. He runs into the tower but temporarily stops as he seems to hear Bran yelling his name. The TER intervenes and pulls Bran back to the present. He again reiterates that the past is the past and can't (or is that shouldn't) be changed. Ned only heard Bran's voice as wind. The TER also says that if you stay too long in the past you will get lost there. To Bran's objections the TER says that Bran is there to learn. He doesn't have to like it or like TER. He just has to learn. The TER says that he's been there for a 1000 years which is a pretty interesting statement as it would seem to rule out someone I thought the TER was.

Daenerys reaches Vaes Dothrak. She is stripped of her clothes by the other widows (as with the opening scene with Jon Snow this is done with no frontal shots) and informed that if she's lucky she will get to live out her days with them. There is a Khal council about to start. No doubt Daenerys' status will be on the agenda. And no the other widows do not care one bit that she is Daenerys Stormborn, Breaker of Chains, First of Her Name, blah, blah, blah. Here's a quarter. Call someone who cares, honey. They all used to be bigshots. In Meereen Varys is showing his worth. He has identified the woman who set up the Unsullied and Second Sons for their massacre last season. It's a prostitute named Vala. In what seems like a shout out to any number of Western wars in the Third World, most obviously Iraq and Afghanistan, Vala and Varys go back and forth about Daenerys and her foreign (colonial) intervention. But Varys mentions Vala's son and offers her money and safe passage to Pentos for information. Meanwhile Tyrion, Grey Worm and Missandei wait. Tyrion learns that Grey Worm and Missandei are not big on small talk with him, don't drink or appreciate his wit, take everything literally and don't completely trust him. Well that's awkward. Finally Varys arrives and informs the group that the slaveowners of Yunkai, Astapor and Volantis are funding the reactionary Sons of the Harpy. Thank you Captain Obvious. It's questionable as to whether Meereen has the muscle to go back and conquer all three cities. But Missandei says the slaveowners understand only one thing. Tyrion says that we will send a message.

In King's Landing Qyburn has taken over Varys' network of child spies or little birds. Cersei approves. Cersei wants to know anything and everything that happens in King's Landing. Anyone who speaks against her needs to get got. In fact she wants this intelligence program expanded throughout Westeros by yesterday. With that made clear, Cersei and Jaime and FrankenGregor crash the Small Council meeting. Pycelle has transferred his loyalty from Cersei to her uncle Kevan. Pycelle is talking greasy about Qyburn. No one is happy to see the Lannister siblings or their pet monster. Kevan just stares while Olenna Tyrell makes incest jokes and reminds Cersei that the Queen Mother is not the Queen. Mace Tyrell is his usual blustery ineffective self. But the incest doublemint twins aren't leaving. They cite precedent for each of them to be on the Small Council. They also want to know what Kevan and the group intend to do about Dorne where as we saw not only have Ellaria and the Sand Snakes murdered the Martells but apparently now rule. Since he can't make his niece and nephew go away Kevan decides to leave the room. Everyone else departs with him. Tommen, accompanied by Kingsguard and soldiers, goes to see the High Sparrow. He wants to know why his mother and wife must still be tried and why his mother can't see Myrcella's resting place. King Tommen is very angry. Fortunately for the High Sparrow King Tommen is of an age and personality type such that the last person to talk to him gets to change his mind. The High Sparrow plays humble, claims that none of this is personal and that true wisdom comes from the gods. He's on Tommen's side you see. He says he appreciates Cersei's love for Tommen. Once again Tommen doesn't use the force that he has at his disposal. The overall experience was exactly like someone walking into their boss's office angry about being underpaid or disrespected and walking out 30 minutes later feeling happy at getting a 10% pay cut. The High Sparrow is quite the game player.

In a montage that will be familiar to anyone who's seen a kung fu movie in the past half-century Arya is finally learning to fight blind, despite some horrific beatings from the waif. In fact, to the waif's evident surprise Arya not only holds her own but gives it back a few times. She's also learning how to identify and mix potions by smell alone. After being tested again over the whole no name thing and telling the truth Jaqen H'ghar gives her a drink. This drink restores Arya's vision. The Umbers, led by their new lord, have come to see Ramsay at Winterfell. Presumably this new lord is SmallJon Umber? In any event Lord Umber refuses to kneel or pledge to Ramsay. He reminds Ramsay of Roose's oaths to the Starks and his treachery at the Red Wedding. He plainly states that Ramsay murdered Roose. He insults Lord Karstark as a homosexual pedophile. All the same though Lord Umber apparently intends to support Ramsay as he has brought Asha and Rickon Stark to give to Ramsay. As proof of Rickon's identity Lord Umber provides the head of Rickon's wolf, Shaggydog. It seems that Lord Umber is very upset with Jon Snow's decision to let the wildlings through the Wall. As one of the families closest to the Wall the Umbers expect to bear the brunt of any problems that arise. Speaking of Jon Snow, at Castle Black Jon Snow is about to execute the four ringleaders of his murder. Obviously this includes Alliser Thorne and Olly. Jon is not really looking forward to this. Jon gives all of them a chance for last words. One man says it wasn't fair because Jon was dead. Why didn't he stay dead. Another says get word to my family that I died fighting wildlings. Alliser says you won I lost but if I had it to do over again I'd do the same thing. Do what you gotta do. Alliser is at peace with his decisions. Olly doesn't say anything. As Melisandre watches from the balcony like Stannis before her in a similar situation, Jon cuts the rope. The drop is not long enough to cleanly break the neck. All four men dangle, choke and kick. It's nothing less than they deserve. After the four die and we see their blue bulging faces Dolorous Edd reminds Jon Snow that he needs to burn the bodies. But Jon has had enough. He tells Edd that Edd can burn the bodies. Jon gives the Lord Commander's cloak to Edd. He's quitting. As he says his watch has ended. Jon leaves. Technically this is not desertion as death ends all commitments.

What I liked

• I liked the High Sparrow's ability to gauge whether a rival needs to be threatened or cajoled. He very quickly sized up Tommen and correctly chose the later approach. He's not afraid of Tommen. He just recognizes what will work.
• Cool competent Kevan. He's no Tywin but neither is he Cersei. I'm looking forward to seeing how he interacts with a rejuvenated Cersei.
• Jon leaving the Night's Watch.
• Sam and Gilly as a reminder, albeit a queasy one, that not everything is horrible in Westeros.

What I didn't like

• Forget about the books. Just in the show we've have both Roose and Ramsay worried about the possibility of a Stark showing up and having the other Northern Houses rally around a Stark. A unnamed Northern Lord was willing to be flayed and burned rather than deny a Stark King in the North. We had the peasant woman muttering that the North Remembers. She was also willing to die to help Sansa Stark. The Umbers have been one of the Houses most loyal to the Starks and most in support of Northern Secession. And now we're supposed to believe that the Umbers, who have just about as many men as the Boltons and had a Stark whom no one knew about, just hand over Rickon Stark to Ramsay Bolton? It doesn't make any sense. Even if the Umbers have some self-interest to play out wouldn't it seem that they would keep Rickon's identity and location a secret from Ramsay. I hated this. I think it's a result of bad writing and bad decisions from earlier seasons to not name and detail the other Northern Lords who were murdered at the Red Wedding. It wasn't just Robb Stark and his personal retainers and soldiers. The entire North is supposed to hate and despise the Boltons. And once again another wolf dies. My only hope is that I didn't see what I just saw and the dead wolf is not Shaggydog. But that seems unlikely. Seriously though why does Ramsay keep going from success to success or Stark to Stark. I don't want to see a season of Ramsay "playing" with Rickon Stark or Osha. What happened to all this fierce Northern loyalty to the Starks? Maybe we're supposed to be like Bran watching his father lose a fight, shocked and upset to learn that the truth never was the story we were told.  
• The whole point of sending Mace Tyrell to Braavos was to try to make a deal with the Iron Bank. Well what happened? Also per Tywin, Casterly Rock was broke? So how are the Crown and the Lannisters paying troops? Are the Tyrells still helping? The Iron Bank is supposed to be relentless about recouping debts.
• Again, doesn't it seem that Davos would want to know exactly what happened at the battle with the Boltons and where Shireen is and hey why is Melisandre still alive?
• No Littlefinger
• I thought the Arya stuff all could have been done in one episode.
• Another short episode.