Friday, March 8, 2019

Selfmade Kash Performs Self Own

You know, if you're going to be a criminal it's probably not the smartest thing to do to let everyone know that you're a criminal, brag about your criminal success, offer to teach others how to become successful criminals, and generally do everything just short of leaving a notarized confession of your crimes at the local police station to make sure the police and prosecutors know exactly who, what, when, where and why you've been doing. This kind of extravagant law breaking and taunting tends to annoy and embarrass the local police and prosecutors (especially if you didn't make sure they got their cut); they will go the extra mile to make certain that you are arrested, jailed, prosecuted and convicted. 

The most powerful and successful gangsters are usually the ones you either never heard of or who have everyone scared to say their name. The criminals who last aren't the ones on youtube or Instagram boasting about what they do. It is amazing to me that some people have such massive egos that they would rather let the entire world know of their alleged actions, even if that means they're going to be doing their thing in jail or prison. To this day no one knows who committed the St. Valentine's Day Massacre, who murdered Jimmy Hoffa, or who put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp. The people who did those things were smart enough to keep their f****g mouths shut. It remains an open question as to whether rap music causes low IQ or if people with low IQ cause rap music.

Detroit — Federal prosecutors threw shade at a Detroit rapper and self-professed god of credit card fraud Thursday by indicting the man, who fancied jewel-encrusted necklaces made out of credit cards and bragged about his alleged crimes on Instagram. Jonathan Woods, 25, who raps under the nickname “Selfmade Kash,” was charged with wire fraud, aggravated identity theft and possession of unauthorized access devices. 


He is in custody and a judge could release him on bond Friday. The indictment portrays Woods as a credit-card swiping Svengali who trained people, for a fee, how to navigate the dark web to buy stolen credit card numbers and commit identity theft. “Woods claimed to be sophisticated at credit card fraud when, in fact, he is not,” prosecutors wrote in a six-count indictment unsealed Thursday in federal court. 

The year-long scheme started in May 2017, prosecutors alleged. Woods bragged in YouTube rap videos and on social media sites, including Twitter, that he was the greatest "swiper" of all time, meaning he was skilled at credit card fraud, prosecutors alleged. Woods, who has more than 36,400 followers on Instagram, charged people to learn how to hunt the dark web for the best bank bank identification numbers, or BINs, belonging to stolen credit cards, prosecutors said. "In fact, the information was worthless and many of the BINs were nonexistent," prosecutors wrote. The scope of the scheme was unclear Thursday. If convicted, Woods could spend 20 years in federal prison.