Ned Stark Misses the Big Picture: Loras Tyrell

Ned Stark was a good father, brother, husband and son. But he was a maladroit political strategist. Even when he tried to plot his sense of honor and morality made him value other people's interests as highly as his own. Martin seems to be telling the reader that this is not only a mistake but is also on some level immoral, at least as judged by utilitarian standards. And an utilitarian approach, at least in part, might appear to be necessary for leaders. Rulers and leaders can't afford to live by rigid personal standards of honor. Unlike almost everyone else in King's Landing, Ned simply doesn't put his own well being first. That is an excellent characteristic for a traditional family man. It's not so good for a wartime political leader. Tywin Lannister sends The Mountain (Gregor Clegane) and crew raiding, raping, robbing and pillaging throughout the Riverlands, Catelyn's family's realm. Clegane and his dogs aren't under Lannister banners but The Mountain is so widely known and feared that everyone realizes it's him. Tywin's actions are a direct challenge to Ned's and therefore Robert's authority. Tywin wants to make it clear that Catelyn Stark's kidnapping arrest of his son Tyrion is not a cost free action. We learn later than Tywin intended for Clegane to capture Ned and trade for Tyrion. Ironically if this HAD happened Ned might have survived Joffrey's crowning since he wouldn't have been in a place where Littlefinger Joffrey could have ordered his execution. The canny Tywin would have recognized that a living Ned (even with a released Tyrion and crowned Joffrey) was more valuable to his family's interests. Perhaps war wouldn't have broken out as captive Ned would have been unable to complete his clumsy detective work and learn of the Lannister incest. Even if war erupts a living Ned means that Robb doesn't declare himself King of the North. If Ned (and Arya/or Sansa) are traded for Tyrion and/or Jaime the Starks would have been in a much better position. But of course Ned couldn't lead the excursion against the Mountain. Ned had a lame leg. So Ned sends the majority of his personal guard after the Mountain. Ned is actually upset that he can't lead the party as being a macho man of the North he won't ask anyone to do what he won't and so on. 
But Ned had other choices.
Loras asked Ned in front of hundreds of witnesses to lead the expedition to capture or kill Gregor Clegane. Ned refuses because as Loras is only a little older than Robb, Ned has trouble seeing Loras as a grown man. Loras lacks experience. Ned correctly perceives that Loras is motivated more by personal glory and revenge against Gregor Clegane than by honest outrage over lawbreaking and atrocity. Ned thinks that Loras would simply get himself killed. Instead Ned orders off most of his household guard and you know the rest. Ned just didn't think this through. Ned has already been attacked in public by the Lannisters and received no help from the City Guard. That's a pretty strong indication that neither Ned's status as Hand (although technically he wasn't Hand when he was attacked) nor the fact that he's Robert's best friend and Warden of the North deter the Lannisters. So Ned's first move should be to keep his remaining retainers very close as they are the ONLY people he can trust in King's Landing. Ned has no other allies at this time.

Ned may or may not know about the sexual relationship between Renly and Loras (I can't recall myself) but he must know that they are good friends. Ned also must know that Loras is Mace Tyrell's favorite son, albeit not the heir (in the book). Ned didn't know the depth of Stannis' and Renly's dislike for one another. Ned didn't know yet about the Lannister incest. Ned would have been much wiser politically to send Loras. If Loras is able to capture or kill the Mountain, then Ned gets credit for giving Loras the chance to shine. A happy Loras means a happy Renly and Mace. If events still occur later as they originally did then Renly might even help Sansa and Arya get out of King's Landing rather than only looking to save himself. 

If, as is much more likely, The Mountain makes Loras his hand puppet and kills him in a particularly gruesome and painful way both the Tyrells and the Renly faction of the Baratheons are out for blood. Renly is thinking less about crowning himself King and more about revenge against the Lannisters. If he still leaves King's Landing he doesn't waste time dillydallying with tourneys and games but immediately starts war. Even if Renly still decides to crown himself and is still murdered by Stannis, the Tyrells simply wouldn't join with the Lannisters afterwards. Even if it makes political sense it's almost impossible to do. The Tyrells probably just go home or (less likely) swallow hard and reluctantly support Stannis. So at the Battle of The Blackwater there is no Tyrell-Lannister joint attack. This means Stannis takes King's Landing. Heck without Loras to whisper sweet nothings into his ear (mostly an invention of the show) there's an outside chance that Renly doesn't declare himself king. Stannis and Renly remain unified. If Stannis declares himself earlier then Robb Stark never accepts the King in the North title. Because he's aligned with two of the most powerful Southern families and isn't seeking to secede, Robb doesn't need Greyjoy allies. He never sends Theon home which means Winterfell isn't burned nor are his younger brothers believed dead. Bolton and Frey don't have the guts or the inclination to start acting up because the Lannister position is MUCH weaker. Heck, Lysa might decide (or have it decided for her) to join the likely winning side and commit the Arryn legions to the Stark-Baratheon-Tully-Tyrell group. Even Tywin would have had to sue for peace.

If Ned still has his houseguard (assuming he still foolishly warns Cersei of his intentions and he probably would) there's a slight chance that Sansa and Arya get out of KL and a better chance that Ned WINS the showdown in the throne room. If that happens and Ned has Cersei and her children at his mercy Tywin would have to proceed much more carefully. Full war might never have broken out. It would still be tense though as Ned would not want the Lannister kids killed no matter what while Renly and especially Stannis would be very much in favor of that. Maybe Joffrey is sent to the Wall while Myrcella and Tommen are fostered in the North somewhere? Of course although Littlefinger wanted war and got it, Varys didn't want it yet. So who knows what moves they would have made to counter this. So small decisions like who to place in charge of a military expedition have huge consequences. Obviously no human can see how all the dominoes will fall, not even Littlefinger. You can't blame Ned for not foreseeing all that would happen. But even if Ned didn't appreciate the political wisdom of cynically binding the largest House to his cause, he should have understood the personal benefit of keeping his guardsmen close. So it goes.

Movie Reviews: American Ultra, The Gift

American Ultra
directed by Nima Nourizadeh

This is a fairly predictable action-comedy movie made more so by the fact that the film's main twist is revealed in the first ten minutes. The other twist, which I won't mention here is also not exactly hard to figure out. So your enjoyment of this film will depend on how engaged or amused you are by the conceit that small town convenience store clerk, artist, slacker, stoner and nebbish Mike Howell (Jesse Eisenberg), who has the musculature of a wet noodle and all the intense machismo of a neutered chihuahua, is in fact an extremely dangerous CIA killer. The hook is that Mike doesn't know any of this at first. All Mike wants to do with his life is get stoned and make love to his girlfriend Phoebe (Kristen Stewart). Phoebe is very patient dealing with all of Mike's fears, paranoia and quirks. Even so, there are a few times when she wishes that Mike would evince more typically masculine behavior patterns. But Mike is who he is. And Mike loves Phoebe. Mike also loves drugs, which are provided with a side of urban attitude and paranoia by the friendly hyperactive local drug dealer Rose (John Leguizamo). So life is pretty good for old Mike. This all changes when CIA agent Victoria Lassiter (Connie Britton) learns that her sexist energetic younger rival and boss, Adrian Yates (Topher Grace) has decided to take all the credit for his successful version of an Agency hitman program known as Tough Guy. Like most bosses Yates wants to scrub from existence all similar previous programs which he didn't oversee. In this case that means getting rid of the unsuccessful Ultra program overseen by Lassiter. And there's just one survivor from the Ultra program, Mike. So as far as Yates is concerned it's goodbye Mike. Yates is moving up the CIA ladder. He has no time for failed projects. Yates has all the restraint of an irritated rattlesnake and is about as venomous. Get in his way and he will make you regret it.

As Lassiter and Yates truly despise each other, Lassiter decides to throw a monkey wrench into Yates' plans by reactivating Mike. This will give Mike a chance to live and give Lassiter time to publicly expose Yates' wrongdoing. But Mike doesn't realize what happened. He has no memory of his past and doesn't understand why he's suddenly able to do remarkable things. And he's scared. Of course when people are shooting at you, you don't really have time for deep introspection. So this kicks off a series of setpieces in which Mike is horrified, surprised and intrigued to discover all manner of previously hidden talents. Both Lassiter and Yates try to take each other out, bureaucratically and legally if possible, violently otherwise. And in the down time when he's not being shot at, beaten, arrested or stabbed Mike tries to figure out who else in his life has been lying to him. This was an okay film but nothing special. Leguizamo's character irritated me, You'll see the twists and ending coming a mile away. The special effects are decent. Walter Goggins, Lavell Crawford (Huell from Breaking Bad) and Bill Pullman have roles. American Ultra does not contain anything near the ultraviolence of a Tarantino film. But it is bloody. However, with a few exceptions, I didn't think that the film's violence and comedy mixed that well. I've seen worse but I've also seen better. If you can just turn off your higher thinking capabilities for a while, the movie is entertaining enough.
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The Gift
directed by Joel Edgerton

Unless you happen to have a really interesting and furiously energetic private life, two is company but three's a crowd right? Aretha Franklin sang "I don't want nobody always sitting around me and my man." BB King sang "I don't want a soul hanging around my house when I'm not at home." Those emotions are often shared to a greater or lesser extent by most people in pair-bonded relationships. They do things together which aren't done with other people. Exclusivity is key to monogamy, especially when it comes to sex, time and emotions. Well what happens if someone else tries to attach themselves to that dyad? Usually it's nothing good. The Gift is a very well written, acted and directed psychological thriller that uses some classic film techniques to misdirect the viewer as to what's going on in the story. It also does this without reliance on violence or nudity, which is somewhat rare these days.  We open with a married couple Simon (Jason Bateman) and Robyn Callum (Rebecca Hall) who have just moved from the Chicago suburbs to the Los Angeles area. This is where Simon grew up and went to high school though he hasn't been back for decades. The Callums are well paid yuppies. Simon is a technology security sales executive who is on the verge of a promotion to a national position. Robyn is an interior designer who's going to try her hand at working from home part-time/online as she recently had a miscarriage. Simon is supportive of her in every way but still feels that he's primarily responsible for earning their keep. The two are very much in love. When they're at a high end store picking up some items for their new gorgeous home they have a chance meeting with an old high school classmate of Simon's, Gordon "Gordo" Moseley (Edgerton). Now from the very first you can tell that there's something a little off about Gordo. But you can't quite put your finger on it. 

Anyway Gordo is very friendly but he's friendly in the the manner that someone who has just read a book about being friendly is. It's clear that Gordo's elevator doesn't go to the top of the building. Simon claims not to remember much about Gordo, and quickly hustles Robyn away. The couple makes vague promises to stay in touch with the apparently needy Gordo. But it's obvious that for Simon at least such assurances are those polite lies you say to extricate yourself from an awkward situation. Simon wants to look forwards, not backwards. But the next day a gift from Gordo, complete with smiley faces and self-deprecating prose, shows up on the couple's doorstep. Well although the couple is a little concerned about how Gordo got their address, politesse requires that they invite Gordo to dinner. And the next thing you know Gordo is finding all sorts of semi-valid reasons to show up at their house when Simon's at work. Simon doesn't like this one bit even though Robyn initially finds it cute. Simon's attitude is "Get your own woman and stop hanging around mine!" At first Robyn is somewhat flattered by Gordo's attentions. After all Simon is away from home for ten hours or more each day. Some of Simon's reactions and tells make Robyn start to wonder if there's something else going on between the two men. The Gift has a lot of long silences, awkward moments and slow reveals that really amp up the dread, though as mentioned there is virtually no violence or sex. The couple's home has a lot of glass windows and doors which are used to heighten the sense of vulnerability. This film has a lot of surprises. It's not just your usual home invasion story. There are a lot of questions raised about what would you do to succeed or survive. What happens when someone outside a marriage steps, accidentally or otherwise, on a live wire within that marriage. I liked the three leads in this movie. I can't remember the last time I saw Bateman play someone who wasn't the frustrated straight man. So it was fun to see him do something miles apart from his work in Horrible Bosses. Bateman is not necessarily a tough guy in The Gift but he is serious about protecting his wife, his home and his career. The film is far from predictable. All of the people reveal some things about themselves that are to the say the least, unpleasant. Edgerton nails it as the occasionally sympathetic and oft creepy Gordo. This was a delicious little treat of a film which you should watch. You'll never know quite what's happening until the end of the movie. 
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Movie Reviews: The Hateful Eight

The Hateful Eight
directed by Quentin Tarantino

This is Tarantino's eighth directed film. It seems as if he's done more than that. This film has almost all of the stylings and quirks which you've come to expect from a Tarantino production. There are snarky one liners, sarcastic asides, wordplay, riffs on things that appear not to matter that much, black buddy/white buddy motifs, implied danger masquerading as excessive politeness and twisted sexuality. This film also impresses with the cinematography. The Hateful Eight was shot in Colorado and used widescreen Panavision. The effect is reminiscent of several old Westerns and classic seventies films. Tarantino loves film, and it shows. Even if you're not otherwise a Tarantino fan you might want to look at this movie simply for its visual feast. The colors are a treat. The film is broken up by title cards and even has a spot for an intermission. Legendary composer Ennio Morricone scored this film and allowed Tarantino to use previously unreleased tracks. So the film is also an auditory experience. The Hateful Eight features many actors who've worked with Tarantino before. This movie also finds Tarantino continuing his gleeful, irreverent and occasionally painful or offensive inspection of America's obsession with race and sex-particularly how those two baseline concepts intertwine. Thematically The Hateful Eight picks up after Django Unchained. It takes place in an undefined time period after the Civil War, probably the 1870s or early 1880s. But that's not really important. Although slavery has been outlawed and blacks are theoretically equal citizens, no one black or white, really believes that blacks have equality. The white conservatives of the time are openly hateful of the freed blacks while the liberals are just as prone to racist language and beliefs. Racial hostility suffuses the movie and is never far from the story. If you can't tolerate racial venom being expressed in fictional creations, this is not the film for you. Dialogue is very important in this film, occasionally more so than plot.

The Hateful Eight is Tarantino's tilted take on a locked room mystery. A number of people find themselves unexpectedly forced to share lodgings during a Wyoming snowstorm. Most of them don't know each other and those who do know each other don't appear to like each other very much. This group includes Joe Ruth (Kurt Russell) a bounty hunter known as The Hangman for his insistence for bringing in criminals alive so that they can face the noose. Ruth is a brutal if honest man. His idea of telling someone to shut up involves an elbow to the nose. His current bounty is Daisy Domergue (Jennifer Jason Leigh) a foul mouthed murderer. He's taking her to the town of Red Rock. On the road Ruth runs into Major Marquis Warren (Samuel Jackson) a former US Army officer (there actually were a handful of black officers in the Civil War) and Civil War vet who now also makes a living as a bounty hunter. As Warren is introduced to the viewer sitting on a pile of corpses, it's obvious, as Warren later cheerfully confirms, that he prefers to transport his bounties dead. Less trouble and less backtalk. As Ruth actually knows Warren from back in the day he's willing to give the stranded Warren a ride to the next lodging. When Ruth runs across the stranded Chris Mannix (Walter Goggins) a former Confederate soldier and Night Rider/KKK terrorist, he's a little less affable (not that Ruth is all that friendly to Warren) but when Mannix points out that he's actually Red Rock's new sheriff, Ruth decides not to take the chance of leaving the new sheriff to freeze to death. These men and their driver arrive at Minnie's Haberdashery, a lodge offering food and shelter. But Minnie's not around. The current inhabitants of the lodge are Joe Gage (Michael Madsen) a taciturn cowboy who claims to be writing his life's story, Oswaldo Mowbray (Tim Roth), the loquacious English born Red Rock hangman, quiet former Confederate General Sandy Smithers (Bruce Dern), and Bob (Demian Bichir), the man Minnie left in charge while she's off to visit her mother. All of these people, plus Ruth's driver O.B. (James Parks), must settle down for the night or as long as it takes the storm to pass.

As you might imagine the lodge's inhabitants very quickly notice things they don't like or trust about each other. A little thing like jellybeans on the floor can set suspicions aflame. Obviously a black Union soldier and two Confederates won't see eye to eye on very much. Tarantino effectively builds the tension in the lodge. I liked that the film did not (pun intended) whitewash the dedication to white supremacy which both animated the Confederate cause and flowed virtually unchecked through 19th century America. Nevertheless The Hateful Eight still has some deliberately anachronistic elements around race. The film also takes care to play with your perception of who the heroes are or even if there are any heroes. Ruth is presented initially as a good guy but has no problem putting hands or elbows or pistol butts on Daisy for any transgression, physical or not. Another character points out that women can kill you just as easily as men can but also die just as easily as men do. Not just content to dirty up the heroes a bit this movie also interrogates the techniques that black people use to avoid or survive confrontations with racist whites. Sadly, in the 19th century and today, it is often effective for a black person caught up in a confrontation to claim that powerful white people will be upset if anything should happen to him. Major Warren both upholds and subverts this trope. There are also shoutouts to previous Tarantino films, most uncomfortably Pulp Fiction's most disgusting scene. The film smartly avoids gore throughout most of its run time but lathers it on a bit too broadly near the end. This was a long film, almost three hours, but I didn't think it dragged much. I was a little irritated that the film explained some things I didn't think needed explaining and left some things a mystery which I thought were worth spelling out. Goggins really works the swagger while Jackson does the angry black man. Because Daisy is chained throughout most of the film and often threatened or beaten by Ruth for speaking, Leigh's acting is often quite subtle. Given that's she playing a crafty, racist but also somewhat stupid woman, this is a nice piece of work. It's never pointed out exactly who Daisy killed. If one were of a conspiratorial and/or feminist bent one might suggest that Daisy is being symbolically punished for violating traditional mores of femininity.  You could argue that in this one regard Leigh's work here hearkens back to her otherwise dissimilar role as Tralala in the excellent film Last Exit to Brooklyn. Despite her name, Daisy's no lady. And this lack of pedestal protection might well explain her fierce racist reaction upon encountering Warren. Why the hell is she in chains while this black man walks free? 

Ultimately I found the explicit violence over the top, but it's a Tarantino film. Who could expect otherwise? This is an amoral film without too much depth. Stuff happens. People die. Not Tarantino's best or worst work, this is an extremely well made and entertaining film that revels in a Grand Guignol ending. Channing Tatum and Zoe Bell also have roles. If you do see this you should do so in the theater. You'd be cheating yourself by waiting for VOD/DVD.
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R. Kelly and Scapegoating Black Men

Ok. There are a couple of things which I should point out before this short little post. (1) I am not an R. Kelly fan. I don't like or listen to R. Kelly's music. I know at most just two songs of his. There is very little modern R&B that I listen to as on balance I find the genre in its current incarnation to be about as soulful as Pat Boone and Lawrence Welk eating spam and mayonnaise sandwiches while riverdancing to Muzak. (2) Although in some states, including my own, the age of consent is 16, I don't have much respect for any grown man (i.e. over 21) who is doing anything with someone who is under 18. I think such action is distasteful when it's not outright criminal. Apparently R. Kelly has a new release and like any other musician in his position he wants to drum up interest. For some reason he or his oh so skilled top notch management/marketing team thought that it would be worthwhile for him to appear on Huffington Post Live with feminist Caroline Modarressy-Tehrani to discuss this release and other things. The interviewer wanted to get into the accusations of sexual misconduct. R. Kelly didn't want to discuss those allegations. So this interview went about as well as you might expect. You can watch it here. Basically R. Kelly lost his cool, made an ill-fated attempt to compliment Caroline Modarressy-Tehrani and then left the premises in a huff. R. Kelly knows his history. And he's old enough to know how America works. He must have been deluded to think this interviewer would not have asked questions about the past accusations against him. Let me reiterate that I don't give a flying fig newton about R. Kelly, his music, his pocketbook or his well being. He's meaningless to me. What I do care about though, is the ease with which the American media (both white AND black) can so easily and consistently make a black man the face of a larger public issue- in this case pedophilia/teenage groupies- and the self-righteousness which some people bring to bear on anyone who doesn't accept faulty logical premises about what makes good art.

Book Reviews: Soft Target

Soft Target
by Stephen Hunter

What do you do when your most impressive hero has finally gotten a little bit too old to be a believable butt kicker? Why if you're Stephen Hunter you bring in the next generation. Although they were introduced previously in a book I didn't read (I don't find it necessary to read this series in order), Soft Target finds USMC sniper Ray Cruz (despite the last name and half-Asian ancestry he is Bob Lee Swagger's son with all of the traditional Swagger skill at fast thinking and instinctive violence) and his half-sister news reporter Nikki Swagger caught up in a Black Friday terrorist attack on the Minneapolis Mall of America. Bad guys shoot Santa Claus and round up over a thousand hostages. Nikki is reporting on the incident. She also plays an important role in combating the attackers because after all, she has her Daddy's steel trap brain. Ray is caught inside the mall with his wife (or is it girlfriend, I can't recall and it is so not important) and her family. And Ray doesn't have any weapons with him. But Swaggers Die Hard (and yes this does read like a particularly bad ripoff of those movies) and Ray Cruz soon has a plan. He also has someone to help him, an Ebonics speaking black woman with a bad attitude. The bad guys are cartoonish Somalis who are more interested in rape, molestation and telling bad goat jokes than they are in the stated goal of avenging Osama Bin Laden. Their Imam is a conflicted and possibly gay man who tries to deny his tendencies by overindulging himself with Hustler magazine. But of course as you might expect in this sort of story the Somalis aren't even smart enough to pull this attack off by themselves. There's a shadowy mastermind. FBI Sniper Dave McElroy is watching the carnage take place. But he has no orders and no shot. As has seemingly become his practice now Hunter creates caricatures of liberals that read as if they are straight from Fox News. All the liberals in Soft Target are mushy she-men who dither and dally and get people killed. The primary and most offensive example of this is head of the Minnesota State police, Douglas Obobo, who is the son of a Black Kenyan Harvard graduate student and a White American Radcliffe Anthropology major. Obobo is a good looking charismatic Harvard Law Graduate who "despite the fact that he never broke a case, arrested a suspect, won a gunfight, led a raid, or testified in court" has risen inexorably to ever more lucrative and powerful jobs in law enforcement, helped along by an adoring media and his public affairs guru David Axelrod Renfro. 

There are rumors that Obobo will be the first black head of the FBI. Obobo (and I'm just guessing here that the name was chosen less for any Kenyan antecedents and more for the resemblance to the name Bozo) is a new kind of law enforcement official who believes in talking things out. He has an unshakable belief in his own abilities of persuasion and communication. He dislikes other cops much more than he does criminals. He has a smooth baritone. And he gets highly irritated whenever anyone questions him. Gee, I wonder who Hunter had in mind here. 

Hunter's conservatives are all virile square jawed heroes who try to do the right thing but are always hemmed in by the liberal backstab. This motif is very common in conservative politics and goes back at least as far as WWI era Germany. I wouldn't mind this political axe grinding all that much if the writing was still up to snuff. But it's not. Here Hunter is FAR more interested in taking shots at President Obama and the left than in writing a good story. His gushing political bile sunk the entire narrative. For example, the FBI will take over control of a case once there is a international, terrorist or inter-state aspect to the crime. Feds are superior to local law enforcement. This didn't happen in this story solely so Hunter could continue to show how incompetent Obobo is. And there are plenty of other plot holes throughout the novel. Almost every white man in this book is scared s*itless by the idea that someone might call them a racist for opposing Obobo. The problem, from my perspective, is that in lampooning what he thinks of as mushy headed thinking on the left, Hunter only reveals worse mushy headed thinking on the right. Although there is definitely a time where violence is the answer, there are also times where it pays to find out what's going on first and/or avoid violence. Too many people at both extremes view the other side's preferred approach as not only wrong tactically but wrong morally. In real life I think the most effective leaders are those who understand that there is a time to talk and a time to kick butt. Both approaches are tools worth using. Because Hunter can't even bring himself to investigate and write honestly about Islamic terrorist motivations his villains are flat and lifeless. Even his heroes don't notice obvious bad guy mistakes until the plot needs them to do so. This was sophomoric lazy writing and not at all worthy of Hunter's earlier work. Perhaps that is why it was on sale for $3.99. 

Movie Reviews: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

directed by J.J. Abrams

My Dad took my brother and me to see the first Star Wars movie all those years ago. That is a good memory. It was quite the event. Afterwards we had a great steak dinner at Flaming Embers. Good times. So I was interested to see the new Star Wars movie, even though I was a little leery of the director. Now I am unfamiliar with and don't really care about all of the expanded universe stuff that never made it to the canonical films. SO maybe some of those questions are answered there. But as far as I can tell at the end of the first trilogy, the good guys won. The Emperor and Darth Vader were defeated. The Republic was restored. Wasn't that the case? Apparently if that happened it wasn't for long. Because in The Force Awakens, the Empire or at least an Empire inspired bunch of counterrevolutionaries, has been reconstituted as The First Order. We know that these are the bad guys because they have storm troopers and prefer a Nazi inspired sartorial color scheme of red, black and white. Some of the crowd scenes also appear lifted from Pink Floyd's The Wall. The bad guys and bad girls all appear quite dashing if you're into that sort of thing. And what do these folk want to do? They want to do the same thing the bad guys and girls always want to do. Take over the world! Or in this case the Universe. Again, maybe this was all explained elsewhere but for me anyway a tiny little bit of exposition would have been helpful. The First Order has a tremendous number of soldiers and informers. They're armed to the teeth with the best military equipment. Where did they come from? How did they get so powerful? Are they all disgruntled ex-Empire soldiers who were dismissed from their positions? They are opposed by the Republic and The Resistance. At this point shouldn't The Republic and The Resistance be the same thing? But I guess none of that is really that important in the big scheme of things.

People I respect have threatened bloody murder should I reveal any spoilers. Hmm. Well that's actually pretty easy to do and easy not to do. This film is just a remake/reboot of the 1977 movie. If you've seen that film or are just familiar with it via cultural osmosis The Force Awakens not only won't have any surprises, it will also have damn near the exact same storyline and conflicts.
To wit:

• A white robed person grows up on a desert planet living hand to mouth.
• A droid has really important information that is critical to both sides of the conflict.
• The aforementioned droid fortuitously winds up with the impoverished white robed person.
• The bad guys include an officious general and a weird fellow in a black suit with Force abilities. They don't care for each other all that much.
• There's a weapon which can destroy planets.
• There are sinister junkmen/traders who will sell out the good guys for profit.
• There's a chubby guy in an X-Wing fighter who gets to say "I'm hit!" before his disintegration.
• An outsider is tricked/manipulated/guilt tripped into helping the good guys because deep down inside he's a good guy.
• Princess Leia gives off her trademarked non-nonsense aura.
• A wise mentor dies(or does he) at the hands of the villain in black

And so on. The only real differences are that the hero in The Force Awakens is not a man but a woman. Unfortunately this woman is a true Mary Sue. There is nothing that Rey (Daisy Ridley) can not do in the movie, raising the uncomfortable question of why she needed any of the other actors. This is not the fault of the actress. I think that she did well with the role. This is entirely the fault of the writer and director. In order to be the hero you need to have something to overcome-internally and externally. Rey is shown as hypercompetent at EVERYTHING. She has no flaws or weaknesses. So she's boring. There's no opportunity for growth or conflict. There was much media and online attention paid to the fact that Finn (John Boyega-last seen by me in Attack the Block) was black and presumably the hero or at least one of the heroes. That was pretty obviously bait and switch for some or perhaps trolling of others.. While Finn's not quite comic relief his role does come perilously close to that at times. He's more or less incompetent and has to be saved by many of the other characters. And you could argue that he plays the Sleeping Beauty role. All of this would have been tolerable if Finn was actually good at anything. But he's not. He's earnest, and that's about it. Perhaps his role will be expanded in the sequels. But much like Prince albums or Spike Lee movies I think I will wait to see what other people say of the sequel before I venture to spend my money on it.

If you were looking for a film with a black male hero, this wasn't the movie you were looking for. This is Rey's story all the way.  Again, I don't mind that all that much, but I can't help but think that this sort of thing was better done in Big Trouble in Little China. The white hero (Kurt Russell) saves the day but mostly by accident. His Chinese friend Wang Chi (Dennis Dun) is shown throughout the film as just as competent, if not more so. It's an alliance of equals. This isn't the case in The Force Awakens. Rey doesn't need Finn and lets him know that just about every chance she can. And she's right. Finn brought very little to the story. He's a renegade sanitation engineer. I didn't think it was necessary to almost make Finn a butt monkey in order to raise up Rey. Although the female character who screams and faints anytime anything happens is a useless stereotype better left to some late fifties Hammer films, it's also a useless stereotype when a female character is better at everything than her male counterparts.

Anyway, that aside this film had the normal special effects, swelling music and sound, duels and familial reveals that you've come to expect from the Star Wars franchise. But it just didn't reach me on the mythic level which the first film did. It's very well made with some enjoyable moments. It was good but by no means great. But I've just moved on in my life. Bottom line is that if you were too young to see the original Star Wars this will do nicely. But for me it felt like a pale imitation. It also bothered me a bit that every time a bad guy makes a Death Star, some plucky good guy blows it up. It would seem that after this has happened a few times, the bad guys would try to think outside the box and do something a little different. Don't they teach that in "Smashing your Enemies 301: Do the Unexpected" at Evil Overlord Academy?  Adam Driver is Kylo Ren, Darth Vader 2.0. Harrison Ford, Mark Hamil and Carrie Fisher all reprise their original roles. Oscar Issac is Poe Dameron, the Resistance's most skilled pilot. Gwendolyn Christie is Captain Phasma, a First Order devotee. Lupita Nyong'o is Maz Kanata, a thousand year old pirate/smuggler with information about the missing Jedi.
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Movie Reviews: Just Before I Go, Ant-Man, The Wannabe

Just Before I Go
directed by Courteney Cox

This film is superficially interesting on initial view but the deeper you get into it the less it makes sense. Cox relies on some warmed over racist tropes (the black characters are only there to help the white characters find themselves ; the sole black female character is a loud brassy obese woman with a substance abuse problem) and relatively flat motivations for some of the other characters. Although the idea behind the movie (You can't go home again) is a old one I was hoping that Cox would be able to put some oomph into her take on this story. That turned out not to be the case. Part of the problem was that the story tried to reach for American Beauty levels of subtext and *important* storytelling while remaining wed to American Pie levels of crassness and silliness. So everything is uneven. The hero's motivation is so weakly defined that I never felt any sympathy or empathy for him. He's an incredibly dull man. And if a male director had crafted a role for Kate Walsh where 90% of her character's scenes involved pleasuring herself while semi-topless in front of her brother-in-law, I imagine that some people would start screaming sexism. There are some directors who can very easily make bittersweet comedy/dramas or "dramedies". Cox isn't one of them yet. Ted Morgan (Seann William Scott) is a man in his late thirties/early forties who feels (not strongly because he doesn't seem to have strong feelings about anything) that life has passed him by. He doesn't have any career path that beyond a dead end lower management job at a pet supply store. His wife (Elisha Cuthbert) cheats on him with her guitar instructor. In the ensuing divorce she accuses Ted of just stumbling through life without any purpose or excitement. She gets no passion from Ted. And apparently that is why she decided to hitch a ride on another man's train. How Ted's personality failings morally justify her adultery isn't clear but her criticism clearly cuts Ted to the bone. He's left reeling after being dumped. He feels worthless and inept.

Looking back on life Ted thinks that everything started to go downhill after his father's (Clancy Brown) death when Ted was in grade school. That was when Ted attracted the negative attention of two bullies, one of whom was a teacher. Ted thinks his life is pointless. He decides to kill himself. But he doesn't want to do that before he returns to his hometown to settle the score with the bullies and say goodbye (without announcing his suicidal intent) to his stereotypically blustering clueless macho chief of police older brother, Lucky (Garret Dillahunt), Lucky's wife Kathleen (Kate Walsh), his lesbian mother (Connie Stevens) and her Elvis impersonator partner (Dianne Ladd). But upon Ted's arrival he discovers that his nephew Zeke (Kyle Gallner) needs some help accepting who he is. This is shown, like most other things in this film, in a rather hamfisted manner. And the people who gleefully bullied Ted back in the day, most comically the earnest Rowley (Rob Riggle), are now totally different people who deeply regret their previous actions. Some of them don't have great lives themselves. A former grade school crush, Vickie (Mackenzie Marsh), is very happy to see him while his former teacher's granddaughter, Greta (Olivia Thirlby) has her own hidden reasons for tagging along to document Ted's last days. So Ted has to make a decision as to whether this suicide thing is still for him. In more experienced hands this could have been a more interesting and perceptive film. Unfortunately Just Before I Go always seeks the cheap laughs, while ineptly attempting to shoehorn in "important" messages about bullying, sexuality, acceptance and whatnot. The film was trying too hard to be something Wes Anderson would have done. You can safely skip this movie, unless you are eagerly anticipating seeing Kate Walsh almost topless. 

There aren't many surprises or new takes on old tropes. Thirlby did a good job with what she had. She just didn't have a whole lot with which to work. This film is something that, absent the generalized vulgarity, would have been a good fit for a 70s era ABC After School Special.
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Ant-Man
directed by Peyton Reed

This is a movie whose titular hero was never someone whose story interested me all that much. I mean, really your great superpower is that you can shrink yourself to the size of an ant and control ants? Whoop-de-doo! And who pray tell is your great enemy, against whom you must always be on guard? Borax Man? The Big Boot? The mysterious enemy known as The Broom? No I wasn't expecting very much from this film. But I was pleasantly surprised. Sure the story was something that's been done a million times before in various fairy tales and classic literature. A young impoverished man must win the trust of the king (and the hand of the princess) by performing great heroics and defending the kingdom against the renegade evil prince. But old stories stick around because they work. And yet because I wasn't as familiar with the specifics of the Ant-Man storyline as I was with the details of other Marvel heroes, it still had a few places where either the events or the special effects impressed. This is overall a fun movie that doesn't take itself too seriously. And that helps the viewer to enjoy it a lot. It drags ever so slightly in the middle but brings the bacon home at the end.


Hank Pym (Michael Douglas) is a scientist (and the original Ant-Man) who has perfected shrinking technology. However, much like Einstein, he's quite troubled by the military application of his advances in physics. He resigns from S.H.I.E.L.D. and is later forced out of his own company by his resentful daughter Hope (Evangeline Lilly) and his former protege Darren Cross (Corey Stoll) who may have a thing for Hope but definitely wants to prove to Hank that he's just as good as Hank at science. Cross is getting closer every day to perfecting Hank's old technology. And unlike Hank he has no problems with military applications. He's not even particular about to which nation or terrorist organization he sells his technology. Hope doesn't exactly like Cross but she thinks her father unfairly dismisses her abilities on account of her sex. And she also has unprocessed feelings over her mother's long ago death, something that her father won't talk about. Hank and Hope snipe at each other throughout the movie. Hope is no shrinking violet. She's back on her father's side..maybe. The father and daughter become angrier with one another when Hank, getting more and more worried about Cross' scientific progress and amoral worldview, decides to manipulate Scott Lang (Paul Rudd), an electrical engineer/activist/burglar, into working with him. Hope sees this as patriarchal betrayal of her. She has a need to prove to Daddy that she's just as capable as any man and certainly more so than Scott. Scott is just trying to stay on course to do the right thing by his ex-wife Maggie (Judy Greer) and daughter. But it's difficult since no one is eager to hire an ex-con. No money means he can't provide child support. No child support means no visitation. And Maggie's new husband Paxton (Bobby Cannavale), while not entirely unsympathetic to Scott's fatherly prerogatives, would nevertheless prefer that Scott not show up and mess up his good thing with Maggie. Paxton is a cop so he's always giving Scott a little sideways look.

The special effects are impressive and thoughtful. Scott's burglary crew (Michael Pena, T.I., David Dastmalchian) provides a lot of the film's humor with one-liners, deadpan reactions and clothing styles.  Anthony Mackie has a quick cameo as The Falcon. As mentioned there are predictable story elements but overall this film was a fun ride. You should see it. It's not a grim or violent movie. It won't change your life or anything, but it satisfied. The good guys are good and the bad guys are bad. What more do you need? I enjoyed this movie.
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The Wannabe
directed by Nick Sandow

This movie is based on the same true life story which inspired the film, Rob The Mob, previously reviewed here. If I had known that ahead of time I might not have sat down to watch the movie. It is interesting how some small time criminals manage to become larger than life Robin Hood/Bonnie and Clyde types while others live and die in utter obscurity. The husband and wife who were at the heart of this movie now have at least two different films detailing their exploits. I'm not sure they deserved one. This film has a slightly higher end cast than Rob The Mob (recognize all the names from The Sopranos, The Wire and Boardwalk Empire) but I don't think it fully reached the cast's potential.  The primary difference in how the two films treat their subjects is that in The Wannabe the duo, Thomas especially (Vincent Piazza) is portrayed not as any sort of tragic heroic dyad but as two low class deluded losers. Thomas lives up to the movie's title. He's someone who's on the periphery of the fringe of the outside of organized crime. Thomas tries to dress and talk like a gangster in order to convince people who don't know him that he's somehow connected. In truth he only knows a few mobsters about as well as the company CEO knows the first floor security guard. When Thomas is released from prison after a sentence for robbing video stores, he attempts to ingratiate himself with real gangsters by claiming mob bona fides for keeping his mouth shut about crimes no one ordered him to commit. Thomas tries to sound like a tough guy by quoting mob movies. Thomas' fake persona and claims of Mafia affiliation annoy authentic local gangsters, including the physically imposing Mickey (Domenick Lombardozzi), the quiet Sicilian neighborhood boss Richie (Vincenzo Amato) and the abrasive Queens neighborhood watchman (Mike Starr). In what is obvious foreboding each of these men tell Thomas at different times and in different ways: "You're not with us.".

Having fantasies of meeting and saving indicted Gambino boss and man-crush John Gotti, Thomas hangs around Gotti's Queens neighborhood where he meets, befriends and beds (not necessarily in that order) Rose (Patricia Arquette). Rose falls hard for Thomas and will later marry him. But as Rose's relatives point out, Rose, who is a junkie, is not exactly the best judge of character. Thomas' brother Alphonse (Michael Imperioli) tries to keep Thomas grounded in reality but you can tell that he's tired of this fight.  When a harebrained scheme to use fellow courtroom observer The Twin (Doug E. Doug) to bribe a Gotti trial juror falls apart, Thomas can't stand the difference between reality and his fantasy any more. Like Rupert Pupkin in The King of Comedy, Thomas takes drastic steps to get people to recognize that yes, he really is somebody. These steps include robbing various Mafia social clubs and trying to murder Curtis Sliwa (Daniel Sauli), who has been relentless in his criticism of the Mafia in general and the Gottis in particular. David Zayas has a small role as a television reporter who torments Thomas in his dreams. Martin Scorsese was an executive producer for this film but it's not something which really bears his mark in any real way I could see-with the possible exception of the ending. There are a lot of scenes showing the couple enjoying drugs and the material goods they bought with their robbery proceeds. These get kind of repetitive. 

The film itself was shot in a murky style. But perhaps that was a deliberate choice to portray 90s era NYC. This is not, despite the subject matter, a shoot em up gangster story. It's more about two sad characters and how they lie to themselves. It does have a certain panache to it but I think you'd have to be in a certain mood to enjoy this story. Rose's nervous energy plays nicely against Thomas' self-pity. Rose, despite her substance abuse issues, seems to be better grounded than Thomas. 
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