Monday, June 16, 2014

HBO Game of Thrones Season 4 Finale Recap: The Children

For the 5011th time I really do urge you, if you like this story, please do read the books. The first three are really quite good, perhaps even excellent. There are many themes, subplots and dramatic arcs which are done differently in the books. The books do have their drawbacks, which the show creators have generally adroitly worked around but there are some things which the show has altered which are not necessarily for the better. There's a thin line between generous adaptation and fan fiction. I think that this season the show drifted overmuch towards the latter. The show creators are confident enough to make their own narratives. Maybe we'll talk about that in a final GoT post sometime soon. Jon Snow has left the Wall to speak with Mance Rayder. Mance is upset by Jon's betrayal. Jon counters that he was being true to his Night's Watch vows but Mance reminds him of his dalliance with Ygritte. Mance tells Jon that winter really is coming. Mance is trying to protect his people from the Others. Mance sees himself as a refugee leader. Mance figures out that Jon intends to kill him. Mance mocks Jon as his intended act would be almost impossible to pull off and extremely dishonorable under all forms of hospitality. Before Jon can respond there's an attack on Mance's army. It's Stannis, who alone among would be leaders, has taken the Night's Watch request for aid seriously. Obviously he wants to burnish his credentials as "king" but that's Stannis. Mance surrenders but refuses to kneel. Jon advises Stannis to take Mance into custody but treat him fairly and listen to what he says. It's what Ned Stark would have done.

Maester Aemon says words over the dead Night's Watch members before the survivors burn the bodies. Jon visits Tormund to ask if Tormund would like to preside over wildling funerals. Tormund is still suspicious of and angry with Jon. Like Mance he also wants to know if Jon loved Ygritte. Tormund saw that she certainly loved Jon. Tormund asks Jon to burn Ygritte north of the Wall as she was a woman of the Free Folk. Although Jon pretended coldness with both Tormund and Mance, when he burns Ygritte's body we see tears. Obviously he loved Ygritte.

North of the Wall Bran, Meera, Hodor and Jojen are stumbling through a snowstorm when they see the giant heartstree that Bran and Jojen have dreamed of. But when they approach they are attacked by wights. Bran wargs into Hodor to help defend the group but it's too late for Jojen, who is stabbed to death. The remaining trio is saved by a feral looking being calling itself one of the children (semi-supernatural beings who were the original inhabitants before The First Men-ancestors of the Starks and Wildlings). The being takes Bran to meet an old man who appears to be part of a tree root system. For now let's call him "Three Eyed Raven". He says he has things to teach Bran. Things are starting to go south for Daenerys. Similar to many people with good intentions but not much experience she is learning that life is not as simple as just showing up with dragons and telling people to be nice to each other or else. The freed slaves are still trapped in mental dependence and want to serve their masters again. As for the dragons, it turns out that dragons make no moral distinction between eating goats and eating human children. Daenerys is forced to chain up her dragons. Powerful scene. The dragons do not understand what they have done wrong.


In King's Landing, The Mountain, per Miracle Max from The Princess Bride, is not dead but only mostly dead. Oberyn's spear was poisoned. Over Pycelle's jealous objections, Cersei gives care of The Mountain to the tender mercies of Qyburn, who likes the challenge of attempting to save the man. Qyburn warns Cersei that there may be certain changes in The Mountain but as long as The Mountain retains his strength Cersei doesn't care what Westeros' Dr. Frankenstein does. Feeling her oats Cersei confronts Tywin and again refuses to marry Loras. She interrupts his angry tirade by threatening to reveal the truth, that she and Jaime are and have always been doing the do. This is her nuclear gambit to avoid losing influence over Tommen. Tywin doesn't know what she's talking about or does he. The scene could be interpreted differently. Either Tywin knew and pretended not to (remember his crack to Jaime about fathering children named Lannister) or as Cersei suggests he really didn't know. Well either way he does now.  Cersei runs off to find Jaime, tell him what she's done and ride the train. Jaime's dismay about Cersei's big reveal or her undiminished desire for Tyrion's death don't prevent him from hopping on the sisterly slip-n-slide. This scene shows that the previous "rape" scene between the siblings really wasn't a rape. Would a rape victim run enthusiastically back to her rapist?

Brienne comes upon Arya while Arya is practicing her swordplay. Initially distrustful, Arya is fascinated by the fact that Brienne is a woman warrior. They are hesitantly exchanging stories of their fathers when Podrick and The Hound come into the picture. Podrick realizes that it's The Hound while the Hound immediately assumes that they're after the bounty on his head. When Brienne realizes Arya's identity she tells Arya of her oath to Catelyn. Arya wants to know why Brienne didn't save Catelyn's life. The Hound correctly recognizes that Brienne is from King's Landing and carries Lannister supplied weapons, gold and armor. A knock down drag out fight commences in which ultimately Brienne is victorious. The Hound has his ear bitten off and is knocked over a hill. While Brienne and Podrick are searching for Arya she steals money from the Hound and silently refuses to kill him, despite him reminding her of the foul things he's done. Arya finds a ship and wants to go to the Wall where her last brother is. The ship's not going to the Wall. The ship is going to Braavos. The captain is about to eject Arya before she gives him the coin and says the words Valar Morghulis. Arya gets her own cabin for the trip.


Jaime was evidently not unduly influenced by Cersei's ministrations because he releases Tyrion. Jaime says he was helped by Varys who has provided a ship to help Tyrion leave. All Tyrion has to do is take the steps and turn right. Well, Tyrion has other plans. He goes to the apartments of the Hand, evidently to confront his father. Imagine his shock when entering his father's chambers he hears Shae call out Tywin by the same pet name she used to call Tyrion. When Shae sees it's Tyrion she tries to get a knife but Tyrion disarms her and after a brief struggle strangles her to death. Picking up a crossbow, Tyrion goes looking for Tywin and finds him in the bathroom. Intuiting that this is something more than your normal father dwarf confrontation Tywin says that they can still work everything out and that he wasn't really going to have Tyrion killed. Tyrion doesn't believe him as he believes Tywin has wanted him dead all of his life. But what really got Tyrion's goat was the fact that Tywin was doing the do with Shae. Tyrion loved Shae. This can come across as a little bit abusive in its logic (the whole I loved her so I had to kill her thing) but for all its ugliness it's true. Tywin is honestly shocked that Tyrion loved a whore. Tyrion warns his father not to use that word again and when Tywin does, Tyrion shoots his father twice, killing him. Varys smuggles Tyrion onto a ship leaving King's Landing.

What I liked
  • The pain and confusion of the dragons at being chained and imprisoned by their "mother" was a very obvious reflection of their mother's pain and confusion that a former slave would prefer dependence over freedom. Daenerys is forced to "enslave" her dragons and allow something close to slavery for humans.
  • Ygritte's funeral. We see what Jon has given up for "duty".
  • Mance's explanation that his intentions are not conquest but protection.
  • The creators pulled stories forward from books 4 and 5 in order to ensure that all characters had something to do this season. That wasn't easy to make everything balance out.
  • War brings change and not all change is for the better.
  • Tyrion's final confrontation with his father. The pain is raw.

What I didn't like
  • The fight between Brienne and The Hound. Didn't happen in books. This felt like people laying around thinking about who could win a fight between Godzilla and Doc Savage. I wonder if this was also fan service for those concerned that the show had too much (sexualized) violence against women. The fight was well done (acting, choreography) but it really did damage to both character's narrative arcs from the books. There's a line from the books where opponents to the Hound, point out that he's badly wounded and not long for the world. The Hound's response is something along the lines of "Maybe. But you're all already dead". He then proceeds to make good on his boast. 
  • Tyrion killing Shae in both passion and arguably self-defense. IIRC in book there was no self-defense at all-at least not on Tyrion's part. I'm curious as to whether show viewers think that Tyrion's domestic violence changes what they think of him. Is he morally diminished?
  • There are other Lannister family dynamics left out which also helped explain Tyrion's anger but more on that later.
*This post is written for discussion of this episode and previous episodes.  If you have book based knowledge of future events please be kind enough not to discuss that here NO SPOILERS. NO BOOK DERIVED HINTS ABOUT FUTURE EVENTS. Most of my blog partners have not read the books and would take spoilers most unkindly. Heads, spikes, well you get the idea....

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Music Reviews: Hot Chocolate, Funkadelic: Maggotbrain

Hot Chocolate
Hot Chocolate was a racially integrated though mostly black British band that walked in the interstices between light funk, pop, calypso, disco, rock, soul and reggae. So they had a variety of different sounds but all of their different styles were held together by the insistent warbling tenor of bald Jamaican born primary songwriter and lead singer/front man Errol Brown. I think in the US they're probably best known for the song "You Sexy Thing", which charted as high as number 3. I don't think they ever had wild mass success in the US but they certainly did ok in the UK and Europe. Throughout the 70s and 80s they had many hits. Hot Chocolate was a band which consistently delivered the goods and got a fair amount of radio play if not critical recognition. They weren't really disco but were disco enough for some to write them off completely. Oh well you know that old Liberace line about crying all the way to the bank. I was motivated to write on them because I recently heard their hit "Everyone's a winner" on satellite radio. I hadn't heard that song for decades. It brought back some pleasant memories of times long past. "Everyone's a winner" was quite typical of much of Hot Chocolate's best work, what with the very heavy dominant bass line, low pitched drums, slightly distorted guitar (in this case a guitar synth) and triumphant group vocals. Hot Chocolate was not deep funk in the mode of James Brown or P-Funk but was reminiscent of bands like later EWF, Kool and the Gang or Tower of Power. 

Hot Chocolate wrote good songs with nice melodies and danceable rhythms. Their discography may not have any lost masterpieces that will make you rethink popular music but how many groups can really claim otherwise? 


Sometimes I wish the soloists in the group, particularly the guitarist, had been given a little more room to stretch out but apparently it wasn't that kind of band. You hear a little bit of what could have been guitar wise in the song "You Could Have Been a Lady". I LOVE that song. Groove was what Hot Chocolate brought to the table. Hot Chocolate was all about fun. I didn't know that they wrote the anti-racist song "Brother Louie". I had only heard the version by the group Stories and had no idea it was a cover. The version by Hot Chocolate makes it clear (thanks to the competing spoken word sections)  that they are condemning all forms of bigotry in all communities while the Stories version chickens out and is imo a little more self-interested. When I heard the Stories version I thought it was a just a ripoff/shout out to the Rolling Stones' "Brown Sugar". The song is also used in Louis C.K's show as intro/theme. Go figure. I like the updated blues song "Emma" and enjoy the rueful broken hearted lament of "So you win again". Brown eventually left the group to embark on a solo career which didn't do too well because (1) most people didn't know who he was outside of the group and (2) he had already mostly spent his creative muse writing for the group. It happens I guess. None or at least very few of us have limitless potential. I guess it would kind of stink to finally go out on your own and realize that you had already done your best work with people whom by that point had started to work your nerves. But that's what life is sometimes. Jorah Mormont would approve the track "Sometimes it hurts to be a friend".

Everyone's a Winner  You Sexy Thing  Brother Louie  Emma  I'll Put You Together Again
It started with a kiss  Girl Crazy  So You Win Again  Making Music
Man to Man  Rumours You Could Have Been a Lady Confetti Day
Sometimes it hurts to be a friend Heaven's In The Backseat of My Cadillac






Maggotbrain
by Funkadelic
Okay. Funkadelic is the greatest rock group of all time. Bar none. Story. End of. Some people will talk about The Rolling Stones, others will bleat about Led Zeppelin or The Ramones or blah, blah blah. Balderdash. Funkadelic did everything those groups did, did it first and did it better. And there were very few groups who could do what Funkadelic did musically. Nobody had the musical range and energy they did. Because of racist ideas about what is considered "rock" and who gets to listen to or perform "rock" music, at its creative peak Funkadelic was usually ignored by mainstream (white) rock critics or only referenced in passing when a white musician mentioned them as an influence. This has started to change somewhat in the past few decades but back in the day few people outside of a small dedicated cadre of fans in the black community or alternative rock community knew about them. Of course I am somewhat biased as Funkadelic was a Detroit group. To reduce Funkadelic to its simplest components one would have to imagine a group born from a simultaneous mind meld of Aretha Franklin, The Temptations, Blue Cheer, MC5, James Brown, John Lee Hooker, Hendrix, The Isley Brothers, Sly Stone and Cream with a little DNA of J.S. Bach, Jimmy Smith and Black Sabbath added in for taste.

Maggotbrain is the third Funkadelic album and the last with complete contributions by the original group. Unfortunately Funkadelic's business practices could be as anarchic as some of its music. After this album, much of the original band departed, fed up with lack of proper monetary or composer recognition, damaged by substance abuse issues, or just because they had other serious personal or musical issues with front man and bandleader, George Clinton. Well it happens. I always say whatever was going on behind the scenes is, certain criminal behaviors aside, rarely as important as the finished product. I judge musicians by their music. I usually don't care about their personal lives.
Maggotbrain is the definitive Funkadelic album. It combined all of their influences into a well produced release that is both wide ranging and tightly focused. This is guitar/bass/piano based funk. No horns. The title cut is, similar to what "Machine Gun",  "Eruption" or "Stairway to Heaven" would be for other musicians, a coming out party for Eddie Hazel and a redefinition of what could be done on the electric guitar. George Clinton told guitarist Eddie Hazel to play as if he had learned that his mother had died. Well that's a grim request but in "Maggotbrain" Hazel did just that, making a ten minute guitar journey that leads the listener through all the stages of grief to come out the other side. There are other uglier rumours about how the title was conceived. I think it had to do with copious consumption of LSD. Hazel's work on "Maggotbrain" shows how the greatest musicians can talk to us through their instruments. There were accompanying musicians on the track but recognizing greatness when he heard it, Clinton either cut them out completely or mixed them at very low levels. Some may argue for a Hendrix influence here but Hazel sounded like this even before Hendrix. I think it was parallel development. If you want to talk about greatest guitar solos of all time "Maggotbrain" must be on the short list.  Maggotbrain

"Can You Get To That" is a gospelly acoustic folk-song that owes a lot to both the Beatles and Sly Stone. I love singing along to this piece. A long time ago my cousins and uncles and I used to have friendly competitions as to who could sing along with the bass vocals on this song. I like singing in the low register though sadly my voice is only a modest baritone and not a real bass. I think that was Gary Shider holding down the low notes. The lyrics are suitably sardonic. "When you base your love on credit and your loving days are done/Checks you sign with love and kisses later come back signed insufficient funds.." I could really see someone like a Richard Thompson or Richie Havens doing a cover version of this. Well it's too late for Havens...  Can You Get To That
"Hit It and Quit It" is very simple lyrically as the singer details his desire for his girlfriend to shake it to the east, shake it to the west and move it all around. Quite understandable no? It's the drummer Tiki Fulwood and vocalist/keyboardist extraordinaire Bernie Worrell who really get a chance to shine here. Again this song has a lot of gospel and soul influences. If you don't shake your tailfeather upon hearing this music you might want to check what you're sitting on because it's obviously broken. Hit It and Quit It
"You and Your Folks" could be construed as a sequel to "Hit it and Quit It". If the previous song is an ode to sexual unity, "You and Your Folks" is a plea for racial/class unity. This song features the bass player, Billy "Bass" Nelson, on lead vocals. Production wise it appears that both the bass and the bass drum have been mixed a little higher than normal. Or perhaps Fulwood was just hitting the drums that hard. In any event this is a slow nasty funk song that will sonically invade your eardrums and leave funky larvae therein. Nelson is known to have very strong feelings about the proper role of bass (dominant) in funk and the proper tempo (slow) for funk. This song is an excellent example of that. If you simply just can't get enough fat bottom end in your life, this is the song for you. Hazel's reverbed guitar solo never really stops but it is mixed far below the vocals, bass and drums. You and Your Folks
"Super Stupid" provides a platform for guitarists Eddie Hazel and Tawl Ross to go off. Lyrically the song is about a drug addict who makes the mistake of snorting what he thinks is cocaine but is actually heroin. The lyrics aren't important. They are just building blocks to the glorious guitar meltdowns. This song is a little less danceable than others though for some strange reason I always imagine Godzilla doing the Charleston to this song. It's just a funky riff. Super Stupid

"Back in our Minds" and especially "Wars of Armageddon" are both freak out tracks that sound like things Zappa would later do. There's a lot going on the tracks musically but "Wars of Armageddon" is a free form jam I think might be more of interest to other musicians than us listeners. It's also a look into Clinton's id, which is not really something you necessarily want to see unfiltered. Back in Our Minds  Wars of Armageddon
I really enjoyed the mix of the various masculine (tenor, baritone, bass) and feminine (soprano, alto) voices. This is what updated soul, blues, rock, and funk sounded like in 1971. If you are at all any sort of fan of the music of that time, you already have this release. If you don't have it, I wonder why. This funk experience will leave you somber, exhilarated, exhausted, in a cold sweat begging for more.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

We're the Millers: Racist Cop Killers and Cliven Bundy

As I mentioned previously about the Cliven Bundy situation the thing that most disturbed me was that the United States Government backed down to a few losers with rifles. This was a horribly bad idea because it legitimized the so-called protesters' idea that their threat of violence worked. If you point guns at law enforcement and law enforcement backs down well it's not such a huge leap to the next decision point of pointing guns at law enforcement and actually pulling the trigger. In Las Vegas recently, Jerad and Amanda Miller apparently took that next step, killing two police officers and another man before killing themselves. Somewhat unsurprisingly all sorts of information is coming to light about the married couple's embrace of extremely conservative and white supremacist literature and worldviews. I have a firm belief that ultimately each individual is responsible for his or her own actions. If someone who merely looks like me does something stupid it's not really fair or reasonable for other people who don't look like me to blame me. We make our own individual decisions in this world. But I do find it it well somewhat interesting let's say that anywhere in the world when say a Muslim does something savage that is taken as proof of the inherent savagery of Islam and the inability of its adherents to live peacefully in a modern world. There is no presumption of individual responsibility granted.


"Jerad Miller pulled a handgun out and shot officer Soldo one time in the back of the head," McMahill said. "Officer Beck immediately began to react ... [but] was shot once in the throat area. Amanda Miller [then] removed a handgun from her purse and both Jerad and Amanda fired multiple shots into officer Beck." After shooting the officers, police say the suspects pulled the men out of the booth and laid them on the floor. They then placed a flag – a yellow banner with a coiled snake above the words, "Don't tread on Me" – on top of Beck, along with a swastika. On Soldo, the two placed a note, police said, that read, "This is the start of the revolution." After the shooting, police say the couple took the officers' handguns and ammunition and fled across the street to a nearby Walmart. There, police say, Jerad Miller fired off one round and told everyone to get out of the store. 
At some point he allegedly yelled, "This is a revolution." According to police, Walmart shopper Robert Wilcox, 31, was carrying a concealed weapon and confronted Jerad Miller. Wilcox was apparently unaware of Amanda Miller and when he walked by her to confront her husband, she shot him in the rib area. A shootout with pursuing officers ensued, during which Amanda Miller "took her handgun and fired several rounds into Jerad," McMahill said. "At that point Amanda took her handgun and ended her life with one gunshot to the head."
LINK
The video below has a brief clip of Jerad Miller at the Cliven Bundy ranch giving an implied threat of violence against law enforcement. Now we all have free speech of course but just imagine that instead of being a man of European Caucasian ancestry that Miller had been of Middle Eastern, South Asian or African heritage. The response, both from media and most likely law enforcement, would likely have been very different.

Believe it or not, since 9-11 more people have been killed by white right wing terrorists than Al-Quaeda inspired terrorists. Obviously both kinds of incidents are exceedingly rare but one inspires us to invade countries, turn our airports into semi-prison environments, effectively redact swaths of the Bill of Rights while the other inspires us to do.. nothing. If you recall back in 2009 I believe Homeland Security released a report warning about domestic right wing extremists but the report received pushback from right wing extremists and nothing was done. Perhaps nothing can be done. We do after all have the right to own guns, the right to have racist or other bad points of view, the right to hate, the right to associate with whom we choose and so on. But if the NYPD and FBI can run surveillance and sting operations on Muslims and do so constitutionally, perhaps they need to worry a little less about Jabbar and a little more about Jethro. The Millers viewed the Bundy situation as the start of the revolution. There is some dispute about how long they were at the ranch or what their role was there but clearly they were energized by that stand off. Read their tweets, facebook posts and statements.


We all must answer for our own crimes in this world or if you prefer, in the next. Muslims ritually and predictably denounce evil actions of other Muslims. But that denouncement doesn't really matter to some conservative pundits or bloggers. They believe that there is a war of civilizations and that Islam, whether it's practiced by extremists or moderates, is inherently bad. Well when a white conservative acts out does that mean that conservatism or whiteness is irredeemably bad and the only reason we don't say so is because of political correctness? I don't think so. But the double standard is incredibly frustrating. You can, if you so desire, find problematic and downright ugly elements in any group or worldview. But to paraphrase Jesus' reported advice from the Sermon on the Mount perhaps it's time that some conservative elements stopped worrying about the mote in the Muslim eye and became more concerned with the beam in their own. Evil is everywhere. It's not only in the people who don't look "American" or have turbans or beards. We forget that to our peril.


Thoughts?

Monday, June 9, 2014

HBO Game of Thrones Recap: The Watchers on The Wall

Some people say that conflict or war reveals who you really are. That's certainly the case in this episode as the Wildlings attack Castle Black from both north and south of the wall. Command is not just something a title can give you. It's also something that you earn from your peers, particularly in the Night's Watch, which is of course mostly comprised of men with little or no social standing in the Seven Kingdoms. Under stress some men rise to the occasion and lead while others mess their pants and hide in the pantry. It has always been so. This episode, much like the famous Blackwater episode is solely centered on one area and one storyline: Castle Black. Jon Snow and Sam are stuck on night duty. Sam tries to get Jon to explain to him what love and sex are all about but Jon really doesn't want to think about Ygritte. Jon tries to describe the essential erasing of boundaries between male and female that loving sex entails but can't find the words to satisfy Sam's curiosity. Still worried about Gilly, Sam goes to the library to read up on wilding culture and war tactics but is discovered and gently chided by Maester Aemon, who blind or not, sees that Sam loves Gilly. But as the Maester reminds Sam, love is the death of duty. Sam's not really listening because when Gilly arrives at the southern gate, Sam orders Pip to let her in.

The Wilding group south of the wall is listening to Tormund tell his fantastical stories about copulating with bears. This gets on Ygritte's nerves. She calls the stories out for the bs they are while she is making more arrows than any one woman could possibly carry into battle. Styr, the leader of the cannibal Thenns, recognizes sexual frustration when he sees it. He mocks Ygritte by claiming that her threats to kill Jon Snow are just words. He claims that when Ygritte sees Jon Snow she won't give him arrows but will enthusiastically give him a certain red haired body part. Ygritte stands up to Styr and says that Jon Snow is hers to kill and she will kill anyone interfering, including Styr.

The fire in the North is set. The Night Watch's horn sounds warning of the attack. A somewhat pensive Alliser Thorne tells Jon Snow that Snow was right about sealing the tunnel but that if Snow is ever in charge he will understand the importance of maintaining control and providing leadership. If they survive they can fight about it later. Sam puts Gilly and child in what looks like a pantry. Sam says he's a man and he has to go do manly things. He can't hide from his duty, his honor or his oath. His soliloquy is ostentatious but quite heartfelt. Once again Gilly comes across as a little less than bright but if your mother is your sister and your grandfather and father are the same man I guess we can overlook a little mental slowness. Sam certainly does. Both wilding groups attack. The episode's balance was really quite reminiscent of the Helm's Deep battle in Peter Jackson's LOTR: The Two Towers or the Minas Tirith battle in LOTR: The Return of The King. Some people are revealed as leaders while others get revealed as followers. Nothing wrong with that. Everyone can't be a leader. There is something wrong however when a so-called leader is revealed not only as a follower but as a coward. This is the case with the execrable Janos Slynt who, upon being tricked into leaving the top of the Wall due to his bad leadership, decides that actually fighting men or women who fight back, is a bit much for him. This is nothing like giving orders to execute a bound and handcuffed Ned Stark.

No, Slynt heads for the very pantry into which Sam has deposited Gilly. This was quite the contrast. All the men and boys who Slynt disdained are fighting with everything they have while he's hiding out. Alliser Thorne leads a counter attack at the southern base of the Wall against the wildings who have broken through. He may be a bully and a thoroughly unpleasant man but he does his duty. Well he does until Styr grievously wounds him and he must be dragged away to temporary safety, still hurling invective and urging the Night's Watch to continue the fight.


Sam and Pip join the fray with Pip shooting a crossbow while Sam reloads. This unlikely team works well until Ygritte puts an arrow through Pip's neck, killing him. On the other side of the wall a team of giants (brothers?) attempt to pull the gate off the hinges. This is working until the Night's Watch brothers drop flaming oil and put a ballista bolt through the heart of one of the giants. Enraged, the other one is able to lift the gate and rumbles through the tunnel. He meets Grenn and about five other men, whom Jon Snow has tasked to hold the gate no matter what. Sam summons Jon Snow to the courtyard where Jon's superior swordsmanship and Ghost's ferocity are able to turn the tide. Jon kills Styr. It's then however that he sees that Ygritte is there. She has the drop on him. Before anyone can say anything Ygritte is killed by the son of the villager she killed. It's an ironic closing of the circle. The boy told the Night's Watch he could fight. Whether Ygritte hesitated because of love or to savor the moment, as Oberyn Martell could tell her, combat doesn't allow for indecision. Ygritte's last words are that she and Jon should have stayed in the cave and that he knows nothing. Up top the Night's Watch has revealed another weapon, a giant chain scythe that knocks off or chops off all the wildlings who are climbing the Wall. The battle is apparently over. But Jon knows that really it's not. Mance still outnumbers them 1000 to 1. He says he's going to meet Mance and try to kill him. When Sam angrily tells him that's a dumb plan Jon agrees but points out that there is no other. His friends Grenn and Pip are dead. The Night's Watch has no additional reserve of men and no one who can countermand Jon's orders. Sam discovered Janos Slynt hiding so I wonder what the penalty is for desertion/cowardice during battle. Tormund is captured.

What I liked
  • The theme of "love is the death of duty" animated this episode. We saw it in action with Ygritte's hesitation, Sam's order to let Gilly in, Jon's grief upon Ygritte's death, and Slynt's cowardice. It's painful to put duty over love but some people, Jon Snow chief among them, have done just that. Would that Jon's brother Robb had been able to do the same.
  • Grenn's last stand and invocation of the Night's Watch oath as he and his men face down an angry giant. They all died but they didn't take a single step back.
  • An episode that focuses on one locale is usually more impressive than something that jumps around too much. Although I didn't think this was to the level of Blackwater I appreciated the singular focus.
  • The quick decisions that Alliser Thorne and Jon Snow must make. They have extremely limited resources and must inspire men to fight even though things look hopeless.
  • The reveal that even though Thorne and Slynt are united in their dislike, even hatred for Jon Snow, one of the men is quite competent and able to lead while the other simply isn't. You can hate Thorne but he'll fight and die for you.

What I didn't like
  • I understand that Veep is very popular. My brother tells me it's a well written show. But I don't need to see previews for Veep before 10 PM. I don't like these shorter Game of Thrones episodes.
  • I thought we should have seen some Mance in this episode.
  • More Ghost is always good.
  • Outside of the Jon: Ygritte moment and the Grenn last stand I don't know that this episode had a lot of emotional involvement. In some aspects it felt a little like those Star Trek episodes when Kirk, Spock, Bones and unnamed mook beamed down to a dangerous planet. You kind of already knew who's not coming back. 
  • Wait for two weeks and I will tell you more.
*This post is written for discussion of this episode and previous episodes.  If you have book based knowledge of future events please be kind enough not to discuss that here NO SPOILERS. NO BOOK DERIVED HINTS ABOUT FUTURE EVENTS. Most of my blog partners have not read the books and would take spoilers most unkindly. Heads, spikes, well you get the idea...

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Movie Reviews: Lone Survivor, Bad Blonde, Baggage Claim

Lone Survivor
directed by Peter Berg
There is a scene from the book Gates of Fire which captures what I think of as the elite warrior ethos which is displayed so magnificently in Lone Survivor. In the book scene a feared Spartan warrior has caught a recruit making an unforgivable mistake in weapons handling. So he smacks the recruit across the face with a handle, cutting the man's scalp and breaking his nose, before continuing to harangue him about all the things he was doing wrong. After a moment the recruit tries to wipe the blood off his face and out of his eyes. This was an even worse error as his captain inquires sarcastically if the youngster thinks that during battle everyone will stop to allow him time to wipe blood from his face so that he will look pretty. He also hits him again. Things go downhill from there for the recruit. I was reminded of that scene because of Lone Survivor's reveal of real SEALs training and the fact that its heroes are indeed pushed far beyond their previous already hardened levels of endurance in their desperate battle to stay alive and complete the mission. They have no time to wipe the blood off their faces. Whether you've been shot repeatedly, are drowning on your own blood, have limbs shot off, or are coping with broken bones as long as there's life there's fighting to be done. Because the enemy certainly won't stop. And neither should you. SEALs and associated Special Forces units are operating at the tip of the spear, just as Spartans did so long ago. By definition most people won't ever get anywhere close to that sort of excellence in their everyday endeavors but the never give up never say die can do spirit can inspire everyone in whatever their mundane day to day business might be. 

Lone Survivor then is both a sort of hagiography to this sort of excellence in action as well as one of the most effective war movies I've seen in a while. There aren't any political statements here, which makes the heroism shown something above and beyond petty little partisan squabbling.

Fortunately never having been in war I can't say flatly whether the film was realistic or not but it certainly did a good job of raising my blood pressure. This is a film I might purchase and watch again. I think it might have been realistic because not only was the film was based on eyewitness stories but also SEALs and other military personnel acted as technical advisers. The film is based on a real life military operation. Lone Survivor is so far distant from the movie Battleship it's hard to believe the same director helmed both films. Lone Survivor is an action movie. You don't really get to know a whole lot about the four primary characters. This isn't an in depth emotional talkie. The men love their wives, girlfriends or children. They will kill and die for each other. They are painted in broad swaths but that's ok for this sort of flick. In Afghanistan, a Taliban bad guy, Ahmad Shah, is running around killing Marines, American sympathizers and anyone else who's gotten on his nerves. Shah has certainly gotten the attention of the American military command. The decision is made to kill or capture him along with his eye-shadow wearing right hand man, who likes beheading people. To this end, Lieutenant Commander Kristensen (Eric Bana) is tasked to oversee this operation. He plans out all the details and contingencies. The front line folks will be a four man recon team who will avoid contact with the enemy, identify Shah and then summon more troops and more firepower for extraction. 


The recon team is traveling light and has nothing but rifles, radio and phones, sidearms, magazines and a few grenades. No machine guns, no medical kits, and no heavy weapons are being carried. This SEAL recon team includes cool headed team leader Lieutenant Murphy (Taylor Kitsch), intense Matt Axelson (Ben Foster), worried Danny Dietz (Emile Hirsch), and easygoing Marcus Luttrell (Mark Wahlberg). The recon team gets inserted into hostile territory easily enough but as you can guess from the title the mission starts to go badly. Communications are spotty and even when they aren't, Commander Kristensen's superior officers have their own problems to deal with and emphatically don't want to hear about setbacks. I mean if your boss answers your phone call with "WTF are you calling me for? I thought I told you not to do that!" you can guess the conversation will be short and unpleasant. When Murphy makes a moral decision that Ned Stark would no doubt applaud, before too much longer the four men must make a desperate stand in the mountains against what seems like an entire brigade of Taliban fighters. And these guys brought their big guns. Literally. They've got machine guns, bazookas, and rocket propelled grenades. They know the terrain much better than the Americans do. So if you're outgunned, outnumbered and surrounded, what do you do? Well if you're an American Bada$$ you attack, that's what you do.


Again, utilitarian principles raise their ugly head. What is the value you place on your own life and those of your fellow soldiers? In war obviously you care more about yourself and your fellow soldiers or citizens than you do enemy soldiers. You're trying to kill them, after all. But what about enemy civilians? What about enemy children? How important are they if they get in the way of mission success? You may think in advance about what you would do to survive but if you stand around thinking about it while the s*** is hitting the fan you won't survive long enough to think about anything else. The person who goes home is the person who is reacting, not thinking. This movie is so exciting because there are multiple times (really the vast majority of the film) where the four men must make split second decisions to survive. As I mentioned before where there is life there is hope, even if survival means jumping off cliffs, pulling shrapnel out of yourself without benefit of morphine, or making a last stand to save your brother-in-arms from being flanked. This was a really good film and will be enjoyed by anyone who is partial to war or action flicks or for that matter Wahlberg, Kitsch or Foster. The way the film was shot makes you think you were there.
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Bad Blonde

directed by Reginald LeBorg
Contrary to popular perception Hammer Films was not a schlock horror production company solely dedicated to gothic dramas, technicolor and truly astounding amounts of cleavage. Those characteristics may have been among my favorite things about the company but Hammer Films actually produced a pretty wide variety of film genres and styles. One such style was film noir. Some time ago my brother sent me a DVD four pack of old school Hammer Films that were all about morally conflicted heroes, dangerous dames and seemingly hopeless situations. The package included the 1953 film Bad Blonde. I just got around to watching it. This film was perhaps art imitating life. It starred American Hollywood actress Barbara Payton, who after a very brief time near the top of the starlet food chain, burned out just as quickly. She had affairs with everyone from Howard Hughes to Woody Strode, inspired two other actors to assault and near murder, and compulsively cheated on her husbands. She allegedly even tried to blackmail studio execs. Both of her parents were alcoholics. Maybe she was congenitally prone to substance abuse. Who knows. As her career stalled due to scandal and unreliability Payton succumbed to alcohol and drug abuse. She eventually fell into prostitution. She declined from a $300/hr upscale escort to a $5/transaction streetwalker who was robbed and beaten by customers and police. She drank herself to death before her 40th birthday. Even today her story remains among Hollywood's most infamous and tragic. Bad Blonde was filmed around the beginning of Payton's commercial decline though her physical collapse was not yet noticeable.


It amused me that this film, which depicted adultery and murder, still conceded to the mores of its time by showing a husband and wife using separate beds. Although I thought the two leads lacked chemistry this film still worked for me because of the setting, lighting and writing, which were all good. There's something to the complementary claims that women who marry for money end up earning every penny or that there's no fool like an old fool who thinks he can marry and satisfy MUCH younger women. There are countless books or films based on a trophy wife getting bored or irritated with her older husband and deciding to get rid of him. The nearest comparison to Bad Blonde is obviously The Postman Always Rings TwiceBad Blonde opens up in England with former boxing manager Sharkey (Sid James) hustling carnival rubes to go a few rounds with his stable of pugilists. If they win they make money, otherwise they don't. No one accepts the offer so Sharkey gives the high sign to a plant to enter the ring and win on purpose to make people more willing to gamble. But the plant is deliberately tripped by the blond Adonis Johnny Flanagan (Tony Wright) who takes his place in the ring. Flanagan beats Sharkey's fighter like a rented mule. Sharkey doesn't like this and doesn't want to pay Flanagan. But all is forgiven when Sharkey meets Flanagan's trainer Charlie Sullivan (John Slater). Sullivan and Sharkey go way back together. They're old friends. The whole thing was a set up to let Sharkey see how Flanagan can handle himself. Flanagan could be the middle-aged Sullivan's and Sharkey's ticket back to the big time.


As a trainer and manager with a fighter all they need now is a promoter. They choose to work with Giuseppe Vecchi (Frederick Valk), a cliched extroverted bighearted loudmouthed Italian who sweats a lot and wants everyone to be his friend. Vecchi is a man who would walk into a dark alley on the bad side of town and be honestly surprised and emotionally damaged that someone would rob him. It's not that he's dumb. He simply can't comprehend anyone deliberately trying to hurt him. His circle of trust almost includes the entirety of humanity but is centered on his icy blonde wife Lorna (Barbara Payton). Flanagan first sees Lorna changing a stocking through a conveniently open door. He's immediately both attracted to and repelled by her. Flanagan refuses to train with her around though he sneaks some sharp looks her way every chance he can. The feeling is mutual as Lorna dismissively tells the muscular Flanagan that she's seen better bodies hanging in a butcher shop. But when she watches Flanagan fight she gives indications of erotic rather than martial interest, what with her staring eyes, open mouth, lip licking and leaning forward. When Vecchi invites Flanagan and team to live at his home during training, the stage is set for people's worst impulses to take over. This film is shot in glorious black and white. I would hate to think of it in color. There's a lot of shadows and for that matter foreshadowing, what with Vecchi smiling blissfully under a horned stag's head. The film drags slightly in the middle but other than that moved pretty fast. It's about 80 minutes.

Tony Wright's acting was pretty stiff for most of this film. I wonder if the annoyance which Payton's character showed towards him was based on Wright's real shortcomings. Sid James really carries this film. His Sharkey knows all the angles. I also liked Selma Vaz Dias as Vecchi's protective and suspicious sister. I almost expected her to produce a butcher knife and start screaming "Vendetta!!".

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Baggage Claim

directed by David Talbert
If About Last Night was a well written funny adult romantic comedy which appealed to both genders and generally avoided stereotypes, Baggage Claim isn't. And that's putting it mildly. The only reason (as a man) to view this film was to watch Paula Patton bounce around in a few revealing outfits. And although that's always fun, it's not enough to recommend this film. In fact I think I might have damaged or lost a few brain cells watching this movie. You might as well title this film "Black Comedy 2: The Stereotypes Strike Back!There's the over the top effeminate gay best friend, a crass sex obsessed obese black woman, and an aggressive bossy busybody black mother. Of course from a female perspective there's a great deal of eye candy in terms of men so perhaps women viewers may look at this movie somewhat differently. I can't call it. Because of differing biological clocks men and women may stereotypically view the ideal time to get married rather differently. One of my female cousins recently sent around a meme which showed an elderly toothless man grandly announcing to eligible ladies that lucky for them he's finally ready to quit playing the field, settle down and get married. That's the spirit which animates Baggage Claim. Montana Moore (Paula Patton) is a thirty something stewardess who is becoming needier and needier for love, real love, that is, not just love that lasts for a few hours of sport sex. And for her real love means something leading to marriage. She thinks she may have found something worthwhile and meaningful with the classy gentleman Graham (Boris Kodjoe) but soon discovers the unpleasant truth of the bromide that "gentleman is simply another word for a patient wolf".

Making matters worse Montana feels that's she's being constantly negatively judged by her abrasive brassy mother Catherine (Jenifer Lewis). Catherine has been married multiple times and is brimming over with unwanted advice for her daughter about men. Montana lives next door to her old high school buddy William (Derek Luke), who has constantly provided emotional support to her over the years but even if William were available Montana generally doesn't think of him in that way. When Montana learns that her kid sister is getting married in a month that's the last straw for her. She doesn't want to show up as a bridesmaid to her younger sister's wedding without having a fiancee/engagement of her own to brag about. She's been to enough weddings and is sick and tired of living the cliche, always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

It's the holiday season so Montana and her so-called brain trust, fellow flight attendants Gail (Jill Scott) and Sam (Adam Brody), decide that that the best plan is to arrange for Montana to travel on the flights that her various exes will be on and hopefully restart the flame. Obviously this assumes that the breakup was amicable which as you probably know in real life isn't always the case. I mean there's a few women that if I never see them again it will be too damn soon but this is a movie. So for the next 30 days Montana flies across the US, meeting various ex-boyfriends, played by Taye Diggs, Trey Songz, and Djimon Hounsou among others. Comedy ensues or tries to as Montana runs through airports or rediscovers that there was a reason that things didn't work out with boyfriend X the first time around. This movie tries and fails to combine Sleeping Beauty fairytales with you go girl feminist self-empowerment. 
There's a minor subplot with Ned Beatty and a few ham fisted shots at Black Republicans and chauvinists that didn't really add much to the story. Maybe with better writing it might have worked? This is a film for the lowest common denominator. There's nothing wrong with that. Just know that going in. Tia Mowry and Lala Anthony also have roles.
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Monday, June 2, 2014

HBO Game of Thrones Recap: The Mountain and The Viper

And we're back. Once again it's on! If you didn't know already this episode made it abundantly clear for the six millionth time that the show creators are just that, show creators, and are not solely interested in bringing George R.R. Martin's unedited story to the screen. I don't mind this when they are tightening up storylines, dropping stereotypical characters or moving things along a little more quickly than Martin is wont to do. But it's a mixed bag when the showrunners start putting their own subthemes and stories into the series. It's inevitable I guess. We must take the good with the bad. In this episode sometimes the new material worked and sometimes it simply did not. I'll write more in detail on this once the season has completed. But for now all I can say is that the butterfly effect is real. I don't see how it's not going to cause some serious storms later on in the televised series.Ok, enough bellyaching. What happened. Well we open up in everyone's favorite Molestown brothel where a prostitute, jealous that Gilly doesn't have to sell herself and contemptuous of Gilly's wildling heritage, is both complaining to and threatening Gilly about her baby's noise. Gilly can't really pay attention because she hears the sounds of wildling raiding parties signalling each other.  Yes, Tormund, Ygritte and crew attack the brothel, killing everyone, prostitutes, customers, Night's Watch members. It's less of an attack than a massacre since most of the people are unarmed or hardly in a position to defend themselves. Ygritte decides not to kill Gilly and her baby but warns them to be quiet. 

Again, here is an example of wanton violence against human beings of both genders. The horror. Although I'm as prudish as anyone and more so than most it still fascinates me that generally depictions of violence are not as criticized as depictions of sex or nudity. Jon Snow and his friends in the Night Watch pout impotently about not being able to or allowed to protect Molestown.


As promised last episode Theon Greyjoy has been sent by Ramsay Snow to masquerade as well, Theon Greyjoy and convince the Ironborn holding Moat Callin to surrender in return for safe passage to the sea. The Ironborn commander rejects the offer but is murdered by his second who accepts. Of course the offer is bogus and once inside Ramsay kills all the Ironborn, taking the opportunity to flay a few of them, apparently just to keep in practice. Theon really is a sad sack but he brought it on himself. He betrayed the Starks. He betrayed and bit his own sister when she tried to rescue him. And he's betrayed his own people. Roose is pleased to receive Moat Callin from Ramsay. He legitimizes him. As Roose is now Warden of the North, perhaps he will need a new seat of power. Apparently Winterfell may be the new home that Ramsay told Theon about. That would really stink huh? But that's the way of the world. Sometimes people betray you at a wedding, kill you and take your stuff. Good, bad or otherwise, Roose Bolton is alive and Robb Stark isn't. There's a lesson to be learned there. I think it might be that if an ally of yours has a flayed man as his sigil that might not be the person you want to rely on or give any sort of responsibility to. Just saying.
In Meereen, Daenerys' court ladies and the Unsullied are bathing in adjoining areas. Grey Worm catches a look at Missandei nude. He takes a longer look. I would too. Any man would. My goodness. She is an incredible looking woman. Evidently she can made a dead man jump and shout. Literally, if Grey Worm is looking at her. I would include a (non-nude) picture but it's probably not really work appropriate. Missandei is not too upset that Grey Worm looked at her. While Daenerys is doing Missandei's hair the two ladies wonder if Grey Worm lost both twig and berries or just the berries and may still possibly be functional. In a powerful scene Grey Worm comes to apologize for looking at Missandei and says if he hadn't been Unsullied he never would have seen her. Missandei says she's glad that he saw what he did. If you were wondering how Littlefinger would explain his murder of Lysa Arryn he's claiming it was suicide. The other Lords of the Vale, led by Lord Royce, are skeptical of this version of events and want to speak to the witness, Alayne Stone, Littlefinger's niece. Littlefinger doesn't want this. Alayne Stone reveals herself as Sansa Stark. Using a skillful mix of lies and truth she backs up Littlefinger's lie of suicide. Freed from suspicion, Littlefinger begins plotting to have Robin leave the Vale, to help him grow up as it were. When he asks Sansa why she lied for him she says that she didn't know what the Vale Lords would do to her but that she knew what Littlefinger wanted. Sansa appears to be making a move towards becoming a player in her own right, especially when she later appears in an ever so slightly revealing gown to accompany Robin (and Littlefinger?) on a trip outside The Vale. Littlefinger has hungry eyes.

All good things must come to an end, right? Well Lord Friendzone aka Ser Jorah Mormont had a good run as Queen Daenerys' Number One Male Friend Who is Definitely Not Allowed to Do That Thing to Her. He need not wonder if he can ever make the jump to lover. The answer is not only no but F*** No!. Ser Barristan received a message from Westeros. It was a signed pardon for Jorah from King Robert Baratheon. Well why would Jorah be needing that? It's obvious of course. Barristan's no dummy and neither is Daenerys. Barristan's old school. Following the man code he tells Jorah to his face that's he's busted before he informs Daenerys. In what is likely the episode's high point a cold, regal and extremely upset Daenerys forces Jorah to admit that he was a spy and fed information on her and her brother to King's Landing. Jorah also finally admits that he loves Daenerys but he's a day late and a dollar short. She exiles him, giving him the patented Michael Corleone "Get outta my sight" brushoff. At least there was no Clemenza outside waiting for Ser Jorah with a garrote. Arya and the Hound arrive at the entrance to The Vale (Gates of the Moon) only to learn that Lysa Arryn is dead, something which the emotionally drained Arya Stark finds inappropriately hilarious. In King's Landing Tyrion and Jaime reminisce about old family stories in the jail cell. Tyrion is of course curious as to whether Jaime thinks Oberyn can win. I mean you don't get a nickname like the Red Viper just drinking tea and watching other men fight, right? 

The bells ring to summon the combatants to the courtyard. Oberyn is attended by his number one lady Ellaria Sand. When she sees the hulking Mountain enter she questions her lover "You're going to fight that?" Oberyn casually responds "I'm going to kill that." This dialogue was directly from the book. Tyrion is worried by Oberyn's nonchalance and his lack of heavy armor. Echoing that great philosopher Bushwick Bill Oberyn is not impressed with The Mountain's size. Size ain't s*** as far as Oberyn is concerned. Significantly Oberyn has chosen to fight with the paragon of Dornish weapons, the spear. Spears are great en masse in battle but can be less than effective against heavy plate armor in a duel. The person wielding the spear would have to be very skilled to find all of the rare weak spots against a person so protected. As it turns out Oberyn does happen to be extremely skilled. The match pits Oberyn's speed and skill against The Mountain's mass and brutality. In a deliberate nod to a similar scene in The Princess Bride, Oberyn continually chants "Elia Martell. You raped her. You killed her. You murdered her children. Say her name!"  It appears that speed does kill. Oberyn is able to dance in and out of The Mountain's range, knocking his helmet off, stabbing him in the knee and the foot and slowing him down. Eventually Oberyn catapults over The Mountain who he has knocked down and drives the spear through The Mountain's guts, pinning him to the ground. At this point the prudent thing to do would have been to grab the Mountain's greatsword and behead him from a safe distance. But Oberyn is not a prudent man. He wants Gregor Clegane to confess that Tywin Lannister gave the order.

As Oberyn harangues all things Lannister he makes the critical mistake of getting too close to The Mountain. If you remember in the last episode Bronn told us that The Mountain is devilishly quick for his size. Yes he is. The Mountain grabs Oberyn, punches him and knocks his teeth out. He pulls him to the ground and gouges out his eyes. He finally says "Elia Martell. I raped her! I killed her children! I bashed her f****** head in. Like this!" The Mountain crushes Oberyn's head like a rotten plum. Cersei's happy. Tywin pronounces a death sentence for Tyrion.

What I liked
  • In a world full of silicone one woman named Missandei stood up and said "Enough!". Heh-heh.
  • Jorah's emotional pain at being forced to admit that yes he had betrayed the woman he loved but things were different now and couldn't she give him a pass. All Daenerys can see is that Jorah was working for Robert Baratheon, the man who killed her brother and drove her into exile. I thought the acting here was pretty intense and extremely well done. Jorah telling Varys about Daenerys' unborn child is what Daenerys can't forgive.
  • Sansa becoming a player. This is questionable morally of course and as Littlefinger reminds her she doesn't really know him. But she's seen first hand what happens to those who try to remain morally pure.  There's a lot Sansa doesn't know. There's more I want to say here but I'll save that for a later post.

What I didn't like
  • The final battle scene between The Mountain and Prince Oberyn was FAR too short. I don't think we got a sense of how epic this showdown was supposed to be. The Mountain is the undisputed heavyweight champion of vicious killers. NOBODY thought that Oberyn could defeat The Mountain. It is a great shock to everyone when Oberyn has The Mountain flat on his back. Tyrion is obviously not only hopeful but confident. Oberyn wore The Mountain down via speed, endurance and constant invocation of his murdered relatives. Watching the scene I didn't get the feeling that Oberyn had FINALLY gotten what he was looking for, a chance at vengeance/justice. The whole thing felt rushed to me. I think it needed more time to allow the viewer's (and Tyrion's) hope to build.
  • The scene with Tyrion and Jaime in the cell was FAR too long. I don't care about stories about deceased mentally challenged relatives. This took precious time away from what should have been the episode's main event.
  • I would have thought Littlefinger would have had a plan that did not involve relying on Sansa Stark to avoid imprisonment or execution. More on this later...
*This post is written for discussion of this episode and previous episodes.  If you have book based knowledge of future events please be kind enough not to discuss that here NO SPOILERS. NO BOOK DERIVED HINTS ABOUT FUTURE EVENTS. Most of my blog partners have not read the books and would take spoilers most unkindly. Heads, spikes, well you get the idea....