Random Rants

To most people and on most days I am a calm non-confrontational live and let live sort of fellow. Life is too short to be mean or angry all the time. I'm the guy who lets people merge on the expressway or allows someone with only a few items to cut in front of me at the grocery checkout lane. But there are some people or incidents that can work my proverbial last nerve and as my maternal relatives used to say, make me "lose my religion".

1) People who park or stand in front of LARGE no standing/no parking/fire lane signs or in handicapped spaces. If I were a cop I wouldn't ticket people for most minor infractions. Often a curt warning is enough to change behavior. But it takes a special sort of contempt for the law and everyone else to park in front of a sign that states no parking just because you don't feel like walking an extra few yards to whatever store you're patronizing. If I were a cop I would ticket everyone who did that. No exceptions. Forget about being polite. I would start by asking the driver "So are you stupid, illiterate or both?"  I have and had firefighters in my family. If there is a fire they really do need access to the fire lanes. Similarly if you're not handicapped then why the hell are you parking in a handicapped space. If it's that important to you, go have a horrific car accident or obtain some condition that leaves you enfeebled. I'm betting you would trade access to that handicapped space to have your full health and mobility back.

2) Grocery store clerks who are sick or have poor hygiene.  I'm picky about what I eat and what or who I have in my home. I know that we all have immune systems that work diligently to remove anything from our body that isn't us. But I say why give your white blood cells more work to do. With age our immune systems lose a step or two. Things they would have quickly eliminated in your youth can give them a run for the money when you're older. I don't like it when I'm in line to purchase groceries and the clerk who will handle my food is having a coughing or sneezing fit, picking her nose, scratching his private parts, digging in his ear, or taking out a visibly mucus soaked handkerchief to vigorously blow his nose right before reaching out to handle the food I intend to consume. If you're sick stay home. And if you need to do some personal grooming, please take a break to do that in private in the restroom.

Queen Fredegund

Didn't I tell you no back talk?

Dark Ages Europe was no place for shrinking violets. Every five minutes or so Europe experienced a barbarian invasion, peasant revolt, plague outbreak, religious war, an ambitious uncle making a power play, or a new fancy pants declaring himself the local ruler and ordering all partisans of the previous administration to be hanged, drawn, and quartered at the new Disneyland opening. With a few exceptions nice rulers finished last. Whether in fiction or reality, it's hard for a king or queen to be good.

But even by 6th Century standards, the Frankish Queen Fredegund stood out as a take no prisoners take no s*** kind of woman who never hesitated to lay hands on people who did her wrong, who might be thinking about doing her wrong, who were related to people who did her wrong, or who just happened to cross her path when she was in a vindictive mood, which by general accounts, was most of the time. Fredegund was quite possibly the earliest archetype for the abusive stepmother/wicked Queen found in Western European folktales later collated by the Grimm Brothers.

Fredegund began her rise to power as a lady-in-waiting for a Frankish Queen. You know the thing that Kings like to do with their Queen's ladies-in-waiting? Fredegund was apparently very skilled at that, soon becoming the number one concubine. Fredegund convinced King Chilperic to divorce his wife and put her in a convent. The King assented to Fredegund's wish, but married someone else. Fredegund bided her time. Not even a year had passed before the King's new wife, Galswintha, was found strangled to death. Possibly realizing that it wasn't particularly healthy to upset Fredegund, King Chilperic finally married her. Galswintha's relatives weren't thrilled with this turn of events. They wanted to kill Fredegund and King Chilperic several times over.

Michigan Democrats Screw Up Hacking Test

We're at DEFCON 1 people!!! This is not a drill!!!! This is not a drill!!! Abandon Ship! Damn the torpedoes! Full Speed Ahead!!! I'm in charge here!!! Oh everything's ok? Never mind...

I work in the information technology profession. I am attached to financial and legal systems. One thing that is very important to do when you are testing systems or processes is to make sure that your test is coordinated or completed in a separate environment than production. In addition to that very obvious requirement, when you are testing you should let all of the relevant people know that you are testing, what you are testing and how long you will be testing. So ideally, your test should be imperceptible by your business partners and stakeholders. But in case it's not, you should communicate that the anomalies they may experience are part of a test. If you don't take these steps then your customers and business partners may experience or see changes and lose their religion. They will do things like calling your boss in a panic, escalating the "problem" to department heads or on-call production support, or worst of all, contact people like CIO's, partners, executive vice-Presidents, the IRS or other law enforcement. 

It's probably better that the last group of people doesn't know your name, if it's being mentioned along with some sort of production meltdown or apparent criminal activity. So again, to avoid all of that unpleasantness, you should let people know what and when you're testing and what the expected results are. Unfortunately the Michigan Democratic Party forgot this basic concept in its zeal to do battle against hacking.

Movie Reviews: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
directed by Martin McDonagh

You could view this film as a dark comedy or a drama. It shifts between both styles but so do our lives. I meant to see this Oscar winning movie quite some time ago, but made the mistake of watching other films first. When I circled back around to see this movie it was no longer available on VOD. Fortunately I ran across it on a premium channel.

You should see this movie. It was indeed Oscar worthy. The sad, beautiful, horrible thing about life is that we are all mixes of good and evil. Some of the worst people can do good on occasion while even seemingly beatific folks can reveal a dark side if you trip the wrong wire. This film makes you think about that a lot. Three Billboards... also has something to say about loss and the thin line between justice and vengeance. Anger and cruelty are not only dangerous to the objects of those emotions, but to the people who hold those emotions as well.

Frances McDormand won Best Actress for her role here. I think the award was well deserved. In this film, McDormand has a particular hardness to her features and the role she plays. I can't think offhand of too many other actresses that could have so completely disappeared into the role. McDormand's Mildred is a woman of a certain age who has been through a lot of pain and disappointment. And life has left marks on her. But Mildred is still standing. And Mildred has lost, if indeed she ever had, any tolerance for nonsense from anyone regardless of age, race, status, or sex. If you don't know where you stand with Mildred, you probably haven't been paying attention. But don't worry she has no problem spelling things out for you if you're particularly dim. 

Movie Reviews: BlackkKlansman

BlackkKlansman
directed by Spike Lee

This film is based on a true story. Lee at 61, is still interested in interrogating whiteness. In some respects the culture has caught up with him. American Whiteness and Blackness are not just biological markers of lineage. 

The concepts show us who is on the winning team and who is not. We use race to delineate opportunities: legal, financial. social or otherwise. Ironically, though these racial descriptions are taken for granted by most Americans at any given time, the reality is that both categories, but especially whiteness, have been historically flexible.  At one time "White" Americans questioned whether or not Italians, particularly southern Italians, were really or fully white. Al Capone and other Italian hoodlums murdered Irish hoodlums who, irritated by the sight of Irish women with Italian men, insulted the women by telling them to leave the bar and come back with white men. A few generations before that incident not all white Americans accepted Irish as white. 19th century era magazines and newspapers ran columns and cartoons depicting Irish as lazy, stupid, wicked, in other words Black in all but color. 

White in America has also meant "not-black".  That meaning has co-existed with the idea that the further someone is from Northern or Western European heritage and Christian religion, the more tenuous their whiteness claim is. In BlackkKlansman a Jewish detective infiltrates a Klan group. A Black man makes initial contact with the Klan. He draws them in by pretending to be white and runs the investigation. A white man is pretending to be a Black man who is pretending to be a white man. Lee shows us how whiteness and blackness can be understood as performance art. 

Movie Reviews: Sunset Boulevard, Bad Samaritan

Sunset Boulevard
directed by Billy Wilder
All right, Mr. De Mille, I'm ready for my closeup.

This is a classic film noir which I hadn't seen in its entirety though I knew some popular lines. Sunset Boulevard leaves a cinematographic impression upon the viewer. It's filmed in glorious black and white. It uses shadow, smoke and music to create a setting that is alternately realistic and something that could have come from a dream or nightmare. 

Although this film was released in 1950, the story and the character motives and fears are just as relevant today. Men and women haven't changed that much. Watching movies like this, that if remade today would have been more graphic, always reminds me of how quality films can tell good stories without relying on blood and nudity. Sunset Boulevard is also an example of non-linear story telling; the film is told in flashback voiceover by a character who explains the events.

Joe Gillis (William Holden) is a Hollywood screenwriter of dubious morals, questionable talents and light wallet. Joe has tried selling a script to Paramount but Betty (Nancy Olson) a younger quality control script reader, didn't like it. Joe is behind on his car payments and other bills.

Piano with your Pizza

I hope the family gave him a big tip. It's always good to hear Beethoven.

Some pizza delivery guys don't just deliver pizzas.
A regular old Wednesday pizza delivery turned into a surprising performance for a Shelby Township family. Julie Varchetti posted on Facebook that a young pizza delivery man noticed the family's piano and asked if he could play it.
Bryce Dudal, 18, of Sterling Heights was delivering a pizza from Hungry Howie's when he spotted the piano. What happened next wowed the family.