Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Desmond Hatchett-30 children and counting

You have probably heard about this Knoxville, Tennessee man of profound potency and vast virility, Desmond Hatchett, who at the time of this writing has acknowledged 30 children by 11 different women. This may be a county or even state record. Just three years ago he only had 21 children so obviously Mr. Hatchett is something of a crosscut saw that some women like to have buried in their wood. Unfortunately for Mr. Hatchett, unlike other noted men such as Clint Eastwood (seven children by five different women) or Ted Nugent (eight children by four different women) Mr. Hatchett has apparently no marketable skills other than his good good loving. He makes minimum wage. He's 33 years old and only earning minimum wage which is $7.25/hr.

There's a saying that you can't get blood from a stone, though you can apparently get some other bodily fluids. So Hatchett recently went to court to try to get the state to reduce the child support payments. State law allows the state to take up to 50% of a non-custodial parent's income for child support but since Hatchett doesn't earn much money in the first place his children don't receive very much assistance-one child's mother is paid just $1.49/month.
Just where is Octodad? That's perhaps the most pressing question -- among the many -- pertaining to Desmond Hatchett, a Knoxville, Tenn., man who reportedly has so many children that he's struggling to keep up with child-support payments.
Hatchett, nicknamed Octodad by various media outlets, gained considerable notoriety last week after WREG in Memphis posted a story and video describing his struggles to keep up with child-support payments for his 30 children.
To say the story went viral would be an understatement. It was republished, reposted, tweeted, shared and commented on thousands and thousands of times. We wrote about it as well on Friday. That story alone was shared more than 26,000 times.
One of the most common questions among readers who have called, e-mailed and commented on the story is this: If Hatchett is having trouble paying child support for these children, who is paying for them? Tennessee taxpayers?
Now in my opinion he is a sad excuse for a man. And of course most of the media or blog coverage of this situation also promoted that opinion. Some people even called for castration or vasectomy.  That's good for a chuckle and allows people to vent their frustrations with this situation. That's fine. I did the same above. But if we can be serious for just a moment we should realize that unless Hatchett forcibly raped a woman or slept with an underage girl (which is rape of a different sort) it takes two, or in Hatchett's case, 12 to tango. The women's names, photos and situations have not been released but I'm sure that they're all upstanding citizens with great jobs who are not on any sort of public assistance. In any event they are just as responsible as Hatchett for their children. If he's a reprobate and a clown, then so are they. We can't demand that Hatchett be more responsible than the women he's running around with. Can we?  But neither Hatchett nor the mothers of his children have broken any laws. One would wonder why a man would want to impregnate so many different women that he can't support or why so many women would want to be impregnated by such a man but I wonder about a lot of things that I'll never figure out.
The moral of this story is that you can't fix stupid. You can't take more than 50% of someone's income. You can't prevent someone from having children they can't afford. You can't stop someone from valuing short term pleasures more highly than the long term costs of bringing another human being into this world. All you can do is show people the costs of stupid behavior and try to change their incentives. That's what freedom means.
QUESTIONS
1) Should the state be able to take more than 50% of your income for child support?
2) What would happen if we just got rid of all assistance to unmarried women or children born out of wedlock?
3) Should the state be able to force sterilization on irresponsible men or women? 
4) How did people's lives become so empty that someone like Hatchett is considered a good catch by so many women? Why wasn't anyone using protection?

Monday, May 21, 2012

HBO Game of Thrones Recap: The Prince of Winterfell

This episode was transitional. It's setting up things for the battle at King's Landing and the rapidly approaching season finale. This wasn't a great episode but I didn't think it would be. There were a lot of loose ends to tie up. 
We open up with the mass killing of ravens at Winterfell. This is so there can be no requests for assistance. It's the low tech equivalent of bank robbers demanding all the cell phones from the hostages. For some reason this impacted me a bit. I mean here are some pretty helpless animals that have been trained to trust men and they are all slaughtered. It's a small thing but again shows Theon's viciousness. Ned Stark is dead and his firstborn son is away. No one is there to protect his people or his ravens. Yara Greyjoy arrives at Winterfell with a much smaller group of men than Theon had requested. She makes fun of Theon and calls him stupid. When he blusters and dares her to do so again she does so again with profanity. Through her body language and tone of voice it's very clear that Yara is not physically afraid of Theon. Heck I believe she could take him. Yara says that killing the Stark children was cowardly and dumb and that their father wants a word with Theon. Yara will not stay at Winterfell. Theon refuses to leave Winterfell. Yara says that the entire North will be coming for Theon and that he won't be able to hold Winterfell. She reminds Theon of a time when he was a bawling baby and she didn't kill him which I guess is as close as you can get to familial love among the Greyjoys.


Among the Wildlings, Rattleshirt has captured Qhorin Halfhand and doesn't think he needs Jon Snow alive. Ygritte argues for Jon's life and points out that Mance Rayder will certainly want to interrogate a son of Ned Stark. This makes Rattleshirt change his mind. Ygritte tells Jon Snow that they're even. As they're being marched back to Rayder's camp, Halfhand tells Jon that his job is to stay alive. He decides to make it look like he hates Jon Snow and loudly blames Jon's infatuation with Ygritte for being the reason that they were captured. Snow in part blames himself as it was by waiting for Snow that Halfhand was captured and the other members of the party killed. Ygritte doesn't know if she believes Halfhand's insults and assault on Jon or not. Meanwhile as Sam and the rest of the Night Watch are digging latrines, they come across some graves made by the First Men which contain obsidian spearheads and a horn, atypically wrapped in a modern Night Watch cloak. This will be important later so take notes. Well I'm just kidding about the notes but not about the other stuff.
At the Crag, Robb and Talisa speak of Robb's upcoming marriage and his father's lessons about life, fear and the responsibilities of leadership. Robb is sharing a lot of vulnerability with Talisa as well as his hopes that this war is not about revenge or glory but justice. He gets word that Jaime Lannister has been released by Catelyn Stark.* Back at camp Robb wants to know why and Catelyn said it was to trade for her daughters. Lord Karstark is furious and points out that her daughters are still alive while two of his sons are dead. Robb is not happy with his mother's undermining of his authority and has her confined to camp. Down river Brienne ignores Jaime's jibes and challenges and gets him in a boat. They're headed for King's Landing. 


At Harrenhal, Tywin and Kevan Lannister (his brother, which is why he is free to argue with Tywin without being sent to bed with no supper)  argue over the proper move. They can't decide whether they should continue to try to fight Robb Stark who hasn't lost to them yet or retreat to protect Joffrey from Stannis' approaching armies. Tywin is angry and frustrated with the whole situation but decides that saving Joffrey and more importantly the Lannister hold on the Iron Throne is paramount, especially since Robb will hopefully be busy sending forces back to re-take Winterfell. Tywin decides to withdraw the bulk of his forces to King's Landing leaving The Mountain at Harrenhal. Arya tries to find Jaqen but can't do so before Tywin departs. 


In King's Landing Bronn and Tyrion are starting to get on each other's nerves. These two have a nice little comedic riff going. It's almost like Bob Hope and Bing Crosby in Westeros. Tyrion is speedreading "Surviving Sieges for Dummies" while Bronn doesn't think books will be of any use. Bronn also doesn't like Tyrion telling him to dress more appropriately as leader of the City Guard. Varys enters and congratulates Tyrion on the drop in crime. Bronn nonchalantly explains that thieves cause major problems in sieges so he rounded up all the thieves he could find and well..what do you think he did. Bronn is a very practical man and smugly goes back to cleaning his nails which is what irritated Tyrion in the first place.
At Harrenhal Arya finds Jaqen and rebukes him for not being around. She loves her brother very much. Jaqen is like look kid you get one more name and it's too bad for you it can't be Tywin. She gives Jaqen his own name and refuses to change her request unless he helps her and her friends to escape. Rather irritated, he tells them to walk through the gate at midnight. I am so reminded in a weird way of the Rumpelstiltskin fairy tale. At midnight Arya, Gendry and Hot Pie are waiting to walk thru the gate but the guards are all still there. Gendry and Hot Pie are too afraid to walk out. But Arya is unafraid. She trusts Jaqen and does what he told her. As it turns out the guards-all of them-are impaled on their own spears. Just who or what is this Jaqen guy anyway???? And if he could do that then why was he hanging around? The children escape. At King's Landing Tyrion and Cersei have dinner. Cersei has the biggest smirk on her face. Joffrey plans to fight in the battle, something which doesn't bother Tyrion in the least. He thinks it might be good for morale and is unconcerned, Cersei thinks a little too unconcerned, about the possibility of Joffrey's capture, wounding or death. Unable to keep the bitterness and smugness out of her voice, Cersei tells Tyrion that the reason Varys is so dangerous is because he doesn't have a penis and thus can't be controlled the way so many men are by theirs.** 
Cersei Lannister, King's Landing feminist. Right. Obviously making a comparison to herself and her supposed intelligence, Cersei reveals she has Tyrion's companion and that whatever happens to Joffrey will happen to the whore, only double. Tyrion tries to pretend he doesn't care but Cersei knows he does. In order to prove to her brother she's not bluffing, she has her guards bring in "my brother's whore", but as it turns out she has the already beaten Roz, not Shae. Tyrion doesn't let Cersei know this of course and pretends to be hurt and shocked. He also grimly and calmly tells his sister that some day no matter how long it takes he will get her back for this. When she least expects it, he'll be there. Afterwards he runs off to ensure that Shae is okay and reveals that he really does love her. This is a nice reference to Cersei's statement the previous week that love makes people weak. Falling in love with a woman that you pay, well it happens I guess.
At Robb's camp, Roose Bolton convinces Robb to send Roose's bastard son to retake Winterfell. Roose leaves. Talisa enters and after an interesting origin story of how she came to be a nurse, Robb admits that he does not want to marry the Frey girl and Talisa shows him how to make a lady smile. Vigorously. With enthusiasm.


Stannis and Davos are sailing to King's Landing and hope to be there in a day. Davos speaks of how he doesn't care that Stannis' other bannermen still despise him because of his low birth. Stannis thinks Davos is mistaken to let go of grudges but admires his strength in not caring what others think of him. Stannis shares the second characteristic. Stannis has not forgotten that Davos saved his life in the war against the Mad King. Stannis has also not forgotten that even though he held Storm's End as directed, his brother Robert gave it to Renly. Stannis says that once he's duly recognized as king, Davos will be his Hand. For the first time we get to see why Stannis is able to inspire loyalty in Davos and the story is better for it. In Stannis' retelling of his stubborn holding of Storm's End because those were the orders he had, we get a glimpse of just how much law, order and doing the right thing matter to Stannis. If he gets an order he's gonna follow it no matter what. His brother said fight, so Stannis fought. But now that he's the one giving orders he expects the same obedience from others. Ned Stark relieved the siege but if he hadn't I imagine Stannis would still be holding out. This man is committed.


Jorah tells Danerys he's found a ship and they should leave. Danerys insults his bravery and repeats that she wants her dragons back-they are all the children she will ever have. At King's landing Joffrey is talking smack about how he's going to lead the battle from the front. Tyrion sarcastically tells him to rock on with his bad self. Tyrion is overseeing the reinforcing of a weak point in the defensive wall and runs across Varys. Curious as to why Varys didn't rat out Shae to Cersei Tyrion asks him what he wants. Varys evades the question and shares that he heard Danerys is still alive and has dragons. This shows that Varys is very much a game player as he was just seconds ago claiming not to know what was going on in the North, which upset Joffrey, but now he has accurate information about what's going on a continent away? This was nicely and subtly done.
In Winterfell Theon thinks it's time the burned bodies of the two boys came down. Dagmar says why not leave them up longer. Theon also gives some gold for Dagmar to give to the farmer and Dagmar says why bother. Maester Luwin sees Osha and realizes what my blog partners Fed_Up and Godson figured out last week, Bran and Rickon Stark are still alive. Osha has them hidden in the Winterfell crypts. Osha and Maester Luwin agree to hide the death of the other boys from Bran and Rickon but Bran overhears them.


*This does point out the silliness of expecting that full grown adults will obey children-especially THEIR children. As we've seen in the show this season both the Starks and the Lannisters are hamstrung by this expectation, based in "kingship". I strongly urge people to read the books. And that's all I have to say about that
**It is also important to mention here that although Cersei was somewhat humanized last week, she remains a highly unpleasant and frankly evil person. That said she does have a fair resentment over patriarchal rules that prevent her from holding power in her own name. She is after all the eldest of Tywin's children. The stereotypical way in which she manipulates men only adds to her frustration with her role and to her contempt with men in general.

*This post is written for discussion of this episode and previous episodes. If you have book based knowledge of future events please be kind enough not to discuss that here. Most of my blog partners have not read the books and would take spoilers most unkindly. Heads, spikes, well you get the idea

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Book Reviews-The Art of A Song of Ice and Fire, Why dogs are better than cats, The House with a Clock in its walls, Mad Kings and Queens

The Art of George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire Volume One
Mad King Aerys
As you know I am a A Song of Ice and Fire fanatic so when I received this collection of artwork based on events, people and places in Martin's invented world I was very happy to peruse it. This isn't quite coffee table sized but would make a great conversation piece in your living room or den all the same. It opens with a foreword by Martin himself who explains that the collected art is work commissioned by Fantasy Flight Games for a board game and collectible card series based on Martin's works. Martin is of course a comic book and gaming fan but says that despite that it wasn't without some trepidation that he gave the rights for this project to continue. In part his fears were caused by his proprietary interest in his creations. Martin was also worried that the illustrators wouldn't capture what he saw in his head and perhaps most importantly what the readers imagined. As Martin wrote in the foreword:


Jon and Arya
"The artist must fill in all those missing details and the odds are good that he or she is not going to fill them in the same way you did inside your head when you were giving birth to these characters . You are trusting your children to a stranger, hoping he will treat them gently. Would I know Ned when I saw him? Would Jaime have the same arrogant smile he has in the books? Would the King's Landing on the card match the King's Landing inside my head? All I could do was hope..."
Obviously Martin liked most of the art created for the board game and collectible cards and this book contains the best of it. This was obviously created before the HBO series so if you are familiar with the HBO vision it is fun to see different interpretations of various characters. This contains depictions of characters from all seven kingdoms and beyond as well as events through book 4. If you haven't read all of the books this collection doesn't beat you over the head with spoilers but there might be a few if you look obsessively for them. Basically if you see a character you don't recognize, just enjoy the art. But the majority of the artwork is from the first two books.
Cersei Lannister
One thing which I didn't show here is that Brienne of Tarth, who was Renly's bodyguard and becomes Catelyn Stark's champion, is described in the books as so incredibly homely that EVERYONE who meets her either feels sorry for her or wants to make fun of her. The depictions of Brienne in this collection are closer to what I had in my mind's eye though I do confess to being impressed with HBO's Gwendolyn Christie's interpretation.  





Why Dogs Are Better than Cats
by Bradley Trevor Greive
I picked this up in the bargain section of my local bookstore. This book is exactly what it sounds like. It is a photographic essay giving a multitude of reasons as to why our canine friends are more worthy in every way than our feline companions. I am a dog person and I didn't need any convincing. I can't abide with a pet that won't come when called, jumps on the kitchen counters whenever it damn well feels like it and goes to the bathroom inside the house. So give me a dog over a cat any day of the week.

This is really a fun book that makes its humorous points with appropriate (or wildly inappropriate) pics of dogs and cats at work, play and rest.
Some of the points made include such observations as
  • Far be it from me to suggest that a great number of cat lovers are simply people whom dogs do not like.
  • Not all cat lovers are pudgy masochistic loners who lack the energy and self-respect to have a dog. Some are simply evil.
  • Dogs are social. Cats are sociopaths.
  • If you care for dogs long enough they become members of the family. Cats become destructive housemates with bad breath.
  • Owning a cat is akin to taking a hostage and hoping that sooner or later Stockholm syndrome will kick in.
  • If your cat deposits a bloodied sparrow on your doorstep, he's not giving you a gift-he's sending you a message.
  • People train dogs. Cats train their owners.
I liked this book a lot. I bet that most pet owners -whether they be dog people or cat people-will as will. The author obviously has a lot of love for dogs. He lives with three Great Danes. And it will come as no surprise to you to learn that he is allergic to most cats. The photographer, Rachael Hale, has authored a great many cat and dog portrait books. Ultimately the author reluctantly admits that there may be some good things about cats, but that only a dog would ever find it.



The House With A Clock In Its Walls
by John Bellairs
This book was written in 1973 and was directed towards children. I remember reading it growing up and recently ordered it online to reread and see if it was as good as I remember it. I think it was as good. Although it's a "children's book" it's really sort of not. There are some adult themes lurking about that only become apparent upon re-reading with insight gained over time.

It's set in mid 20th century Michigan in the fictional town of New Zebedee. This town is very closely modeled after Bellairs' hometown of Marshall, Michigan. Marshall has one of the state's largest historic districts. Reading the thinly veiled descriptions in the book makes you want to go visit. I've only been through the town once but I would like to go back for a proper visit one day. The hero of the story, a chubby, fretful boy named Lewis Barnavelt is suddenly orphaned and comes to live with his eccentric Uncle Jonathan. Jonathan Barnavelt is the quintessential absent-minded professor type. He is up at all hours of the night. He seems to have a dread of and fascination with clocks. And he's always seemingly searching for something in his own house: knocking on walls and looking in closets and so on. And that's not the only weird thing Lewis notices. Windows appear and disappear in the house and sometimes windows or mirrors show things that are distant in space or time.
When Lewis does a little spying of his own his uncle catches him and explains to him that magic is real and Jonathan is indeed a warlock. He's not a very good one though as he only has a bachelor's degree from Michigan Agricultural College (Michigan State). Snicker...

His next door neighbor and good friend Mrs. Zimmerman is also a magician and a far more powerful and skilled one than Jonathan. She has a Ph.D in the field. Anyway Jonathan and Mrs. Zimmerman spend a lot of time together but that's not why Jonathan is nervous. The house Jonathan is living in formerly belonged to Issac and Selenna Izzard, a husband and wife pair of wizards who were much more powerful than either Mrs. Zimmerman or Jonathan, and apparently of decidedly malign intent. They had a plan that involved bringing about doomsday and this among other things required the hidden titular clock which Jonathan is trying to find. But they both died in mysterious circumstances before they could complete their plan.

When Lewis foolishly dabbles in magic to try to impress one of the "cool kids", he inadvertently resurrects Selenna Izzard, who starts to finish the work that she and her husband started. His uncle and Mrs. Zimmerman must test their strength against Selenna's and try to stave off the end of the world. This book was illustrated by Edward Gorey and is almost worth reading for the art alone. Fun stuff. I love the descriptions of the stained glass windows, staircases and hidden rooms. This is great gothic writing and brings back fun memories.



Mad Kings and Queens
by Allison Rattle and Allison Vale
The major problem with absolute power concentrated in one person is that if that person proves to be a raging lunatic paranoid with daddy or mommy issues who delights in causing harm to others just because, the state can't properly function. Or even if the state does still function, a lot of people end up dead for no other reason than pure caprice. This is bad for business and ultimately bad for the health of the state. Over time most countries gradually realized that perhaps there should be some limits on the power of the monarchy. From there it was a short leap to start codifying law that applied to everyone and of course once that was done people started to ask well who made you king or queen anyway? And for the most part countries got rid of hereditary monarchies or just kept them around for tourist attractions.

But not so long ago of course many people really did believe in the divine right of kings and had no understanding of or belief in the doctrine that political power comes from the assent of the people. Political power came from the fact that the ruling king or queen was descended from the hardest of the hard men and tended to surround themselves with many other killers who would, on command, execute anyone that started talking about the rights of labor,  free speech, social democracy or that all men were created equal. 

This kind of attitude tended not to lend itself to the concept of sharing and whether through the practice of inbreeding (cousins marrying cousins, uncles marrying nieces) or pure bloody practicality (it's a tough neighborhood out there) a great many royals were downright malicious, savage, insane or sometimes all three. This book looks at 40 of the craziest or most evil of the rulers or nobles in Europe -from the 13th century to the 19th. It's fun reading if you're into that sort of historical walk through the park. I am so I greatly enjoyed this book. Truth really is stranger than fiction. Queen Isabella, called the She-Wolf of France, was so angered and humiliated by her husband King Edward's gay affairs and other insults, (King Edward chose to save his male lover instead of his wife when a Scottish Army approached) that she returned to France, raised an army to invade England and upon success, had the king's male lovers publicly disemboweled and castrated. And then she really went to work on them. Isabella arrested and imprisoned the king. When he took too long to die by starvation she sent men to his prison to execute him by jamming a red-hot spit up his back passage. You probably didn't want to get on Queen Isabella's bad side. Then there was Henry VIII, who made sodomy a capital offense, executed his wives when he got tired of them, if they didn't bear male heirs or if he caught them running around.
King Charles II
Ivan The Terrible murdered his own son and oversaw the depredations of the Oprichniki, who raped, tortured and murdered thousands, by their Tsar's command. Charles II of Spain proved to be a example of what happens when family trees don't fork. Via a long line of previously mentioned cousin to cousin and uncle to niece marriages, Charles was actually more inbred than a child born of sibling incest. He had a massive misshapen head, was unable to chew, had a tongue so thick that speech was virtually impossible and was discouraged from walking until he was an adult. And those were his lesser infirmities. Before he died he asked for his first wife and parents to be exhumed from their graves so he could look upon their faces one more time. Nice. This is not a super detailed book. It just gives you a rough sketch on the important qualities of each ruler or noble it investigates. Again, some of these people did live in very nasty areas and playing nice probably would have gotten them dead with a quickness. So it goes.

Monday, May 14, 2012

HBO Game of Thrones Recap: A Man Without Honor

What is honor? How is it defined? For Ned Stark it meant doing the right thing even if if hurt or no one else was around. It meant not taking unfair advantage. It meant not harming women or children. It meant not asking your followers to do anything you weren't prepared to do. But Ned's gone and his teachings may or may not apply to the choices his children and wife must face. In this episode we see Theon Greyjoy and Jaime Lannister, two men who knew Ned Stark, make choices that reject Ned's idea of honor and even the entire concept of honor. A lot happened in this episode-maybe too much. I really didn't like this episode's pacing. Some very important events got short shrift because the location changed every two minutes. The pacing hurt the storyline. Each season really needs an extra two episodes. It would help tremendously. This episode felt rushed.


Anyway this episode started with Theon waking up to discover the Stark children are gone, along with Osha and Hodor. Theon beats a man who points out that Theon slept with Osha. Theon leads a search party and takes Maester Luwin with him. Luwin begs for the boys' lives. Theon seems to really enjoy his turn to the Dark Side. Bran and Rickon see a farm where some orphan boys lived and debate as to whether to go there. Bran thinks they shouldn't because they'll bring trouble to the settlement. Osha points out they need to be moving as they are losing their head start.


North of the wall, Jon Snow wakes up in the normal state for a healthy young man who just had a good night's sleep. Tied next to him as she is Ygritte can't help but notice this and teases him. Upon realizing that Jon Snow is a virgin she teases him even more and wonders aloud if he spends all of his time with the company of other men, sheep or in self-abuse. She's a raunchy little lady. They start to argue about the disputes between the Free Folk and the Northerners. Jon Snow points out that they share many of the same ancestors and Ygritte wants to know then why are they fighting. I really like her accent. Snow doesn't have a good answer to her questions. All he knows is that she's his prisoner and that is that.
In Harrenhal we get to see the duality that is Tywin Lannister. He calmly oversees the hangings of some of his men who presumably failed at security and casually orders The Mountain to go forth and commit some atrocities upon peasants who may be giving support to the Brotherhood Without Banners.*  Evidently he is blaming the Brotherhood for the murder of Ser Amory Lorch. There's no mention of the missing letter which Arya took.
In the very next breath Tywin gives his meal to Arya. While Arya eats and thinks of killing Tywin, Tywin gives a monologue about the history of Harrenhal and how there are different ways to win wars. Tywin intends to leave a legacy for his family and will stop at nothing to do so. When Arya unwisely reveals a rather profound knowledge of Targaryen dynasties and military history, Tywin asks where she learned all of this. She gives some sass and Tywin firmly warns her that he likes having her around but that could quickly and easily change. He also reveals that he's long since seen through her ruse as a lowborn girl and that she needs to do a better acting job. I was happy about this because once again it shows that Tywin is no dummy. 
In King's Landing Sansa encounters The Hound and attempts to thank him but The Hound angrily responds that he just likes killing people and that Sansa may need his hate some day. He also speaks dismissively of Ned Stark and his honor. There is a rather strong "Beauty and The Beast" vibe here.  North of the Wall, Ygritte continues to point out what she sees as the benefits of wilding culture and lifestyle (mainly obligations that are freely entered into-NOT obligations externally imposed by kings or "honor") She offers to remedy Jon's virginal condition and when he declines, scornfully tells him "You know nothing, Jon Snow". (This is an important phrase which is from the book and will be repeated). It should be pointed out that the Night Watch is sworn to father no children and to take no wives. As his father's son, Jon Snow takes oaths and honor very seriously indeed.
At Robb Stark's camp the influx of enemy prisoners and wounded is causing a logistical problem. Roose Bolton says there are too many prisoners and looks meaningfully at Robb. Talisa wants more medical supplies and flirts with Robb in order to get him to take her with him to accept an enemy surrender so that she can get more supplies. 
Near the settlement where the Stark boys passed by the dogs have lost the scent. But some of Theon's men find some walnut shells (evidently Rickon's habit of eating walnuts is known to pirates across Westeros????) and Theon sends Luwin back to Winterfell.


In Qarth Xaro claims to want to help Danerys but she is distrustful. Jorah returns and offers to help. After a great deal of whining and venting Danerys says she doesn't trust Jorah either and also doesn't like that he's trying to get close but tells him to find those dragons.  Poor Jorah. He's stuck in the friend zone and he knows it. It won't be long before Danerys is telling Jorah about all the wild monkey sex she's having with some other man. She'll be complaining to Jorah how this other man won't commit and does Jorah have any ideas about how to help. Sad, just sad.
Ygritte won't stop teasing Jon Snow and wonders if he even knows where he's going. She tells him yet again how good her sugar bowl is but he (reluctantly?) refuses the offer. Ygritte escapes. Jon goes to capture her but realizes that he's the one who's captured as he is now surrounded by wildlings. Evidently Ygritte knew where she was going.
Sansa has a nightmare of rape and wakes up to discover she's had her first cycle. This is considered as proof of being old enough to legally wed so she, with Shae's help, frantically tries to hide the evidence. Shae even threatens another handmaiden who intends to squeal but it's all for nought as The Hound has evidently wandered by and seen the bloody sheets. The Hound is evidently on the track. If you remember the book Carrie, the title character's religiously insane mother warned her daughter that once she started to bleed the boys would smell it and come sniffing after it just like hounds. Coincidence? Cersei has a surprisingly gentle woman to woman talk with Sansa and advises Sansa to only love whatever children she may have with Joffrey. In Cersei's view excess affection is a weakness.
At Robb Starks's camp Alton Lannister is imprisoned with his cousin Jaime. Alton worships his cousin and they swap stories of former tournaments until Jaime beats his cousin to death to attempt an escape by killing the guard who came to investigate. So much for family ties.
There is a meeting of The Thirteen in Qarth.  Pyat Pree and Xaro reveal they stole the dragons. They also murder the other leaders. Pree tells Danerys that her dragons are at the House of The Undying. Jaime Lannister is re-captured. Lord Karstark, (who is a distant relative of the Starks) wants to kill Jaime because Jaime killed his son (the guard). With great difficulty, Catelyn gets the Karstark to back down, temporarily. He promises (really more threatens) to demand an accounting from Robb Stark upon his return. Again, I have to give special mention to Michelle Fairley as Catelyn Stark here. She is just consistently bringing it in her role.
In King's Landing Cersei and Tyrion discuss the coming of Stannis. The siblings share stories about what a horrible king Joffrey is. Even Cersei admits this. She also effectively admits the incest to Tyrion, who does not , atypically, stick the knife in. Both seem to be rather pensive, somewhat regretful and share a, if not quite friendly, at least sympathetic moment together.
At the Stark camp, Brienne and Catelyn notice the drunk violent nature of the Stark soldiers and the increasing talk of killing Jaime. They wonder if Jaime will last until Robb's return. Catelyn goes to see Jaime and accuses him of having no honor. Jaime points out that there are many conflicting requirements of honor and who can say what is right. He remains in full deadpan snarker mode, insults Brienne and says that whatever else he was he was faithful to his woman, something that wasn't true for Ned Stark. Catelyn asks for Brienne's sword.
At Winterfell, Theon gleefully reveals the hanged burned bodies of Rickon and Bran.
There may not be the honor in war that we think there is. Robb Stark started to fight for honor and freedom. He has ended up betrayed by a man he considered a brother and is relying on another man who urges torture and prisoner execution. We attacked Afghanistan in a righteous fury over 9-11. We were the good guys. We ended up posing with corpses and urinating on them. This show is going to go to some very dark places. Don't say you weren't warned.
*If you recall, back in season one Ned Stark sent the better part of his force, under Beric Dondarrion, to defend his wife's lands from the marauding of The Mountain. The remnants of this military group have combined with other soldiers, refugees and a few peasants to become an irregular force that harasses the Lannisters and fights for justice. This is the Brotherhood Without Banners-a sort of Robin Hood analogue.
*This post is written for discussion of this episode and previous episodes. If you have book based knowledge of future events please be kind enough not to discuss that here. Most of my blog partners have not read the books and would take spoilers most unkindly. Heads, spikes, well you get the idea..

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Movie Reviews-The Avengers, Bunraku, Black Sunday, Don't Be Afraid of The Dark

The Avengers
directed by Joss Whedon
I best know Whedon as director/creator of Serenity/Firefly. He brings some of that trademark humor to The Avengers. Look, this is an enjoyable film but it's not by any means one that is plot driven. It's a summer extravaganza flick and must be understood and enjoyed on that level. It is also as good an example as any just why American made films dominate the domestic and international marketplace. They're entertaining. It really is that simple. If you make quality movies and have good people marketing them you can do well. That said, as Disney's failed turkey John Carter shows, no one knows ahead of time just what any one particular film will do. But The Avengers is breaking box office records and will likely continue to do so.


So, what kind of movie is it? Comic book movies do tend to skew male and young just as comic book readers do. The Avengers is not that different in that regard. However there are "realistic" (to the extent that you can talk about realistic anything in a comic book film) female characters who are not sexpots nor are they just there to be rescued by male characters. You simply don't do the kind of business this movie has done just by appealing to boys. The movie runs a tad long at roughly 2 hours and 22 minutes but I don't think it's all that noticeable. 


What's it about? Good old Loki (Tom Hiddleston) (last seen "dying" in Thor) has reappeared and boy is he upset. Wanting to get back at his brother Thor and really everybody in the Universe he has shown up to steal the Tesseract (multidimensional power source last seen in Captain America) and make a deal with the other dimensional Chitauri (reptilian looking aliens) to serve as Loki's army to invade earth, and presumably Asgard and other places too. As S.H.I.E.L.D Agents are working with the Tesseract , it activates and Loki enters, enslaving S.H.I.E.L.D agent Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) and scientist Selvig (Stellan Skarsgaard), taking the Tesseract and killing more than a few agents on his way out, but not S.H.I.E.L.D leader Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson).


In order to (ahem) save the world Fury puts together a team of extraterrestrials , superheroes and extremely highly skilled agents. This team will be called The Avengers and will include Captain America (Chris Evans), Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson), Thor(Chris Hemsworth), Iron Man/Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.), The Hulk/Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo) and hopefully Hawkeye, if the team can manage to remove him from Loki's control. Under Loki's control Hawkeye is causing quite a bit of trouble for S.H.I.E.L.D. It must stop. Loki's storyline is simple I guess but that's what makes it work. He feels overlooked and intends to do whatever it takes to get the respect he feels he's due. Basically he's the Theon Greyjoy of Asgard.
Of course Nick Fury wouldn't be a spy if he didn't have a few hidden tricks up his sleeve that he's not telling this team. And just like any traditional sports movie/hero story/war movie the team has to put aside individual egos, distrust, pride and other motivations in order to succeed. This is fun to watch as the heroes show that superpowers or Asgardian heritage aside, they are just as human as anyone else on the planet.
Iron Man is convinced he's smarter than everyone else except maybe Banner and even if he weren't he really doesn't like taking orders. He also has some issues about working with the military-industrial complex. Thor doesn't believe anyone besides another god has jurisdiction to arrest, judge or kill Loki. And how do you argue with someone who throws lightning bolts when he gets annoyed? Bruce Banner is tired of everyone trying to bait him into turning into The Hulk. He wants to be left alone. Captain America literally embodies the military-industrial complex and has little patience for or understanding of sarcasm or cynicism. He thinks the answer to everything is to stop whining and follow orders-especially the ones he gives. Black Widow and Hawkeye have some unresolved personal issues with each other. Fury's supervisors are skeptical that this unconnected group of prima donnas can stop Loki and save the world. Gee do you think that they can really do it? Hmm. I wonder.

It's no spoiler to reveal that the Avengers do indeed save the world. The reason you see films like this is to enjoy the ride while getting there. And what a ride it is. From battle royales among the team (-i.e who would win between The Hulk and Thor) to amazing SFX like flying aircraft carriers, holographic computers, black holes, impossible archery shots, desperate last stands, heroes falling out of the sky and more, this film definitely appeals to your inner 12 year old boy. And even if you are not or have never been a 12 year old boy, check it out anyway. It's fun!!! And sometimes fun is really all a movie needs. As mentioned, despite the almost inherent sexiness of Scarlett Johansson, this film is very light on any sort of deliberate sex appeal. Black Widow is a member of the team. It's not her fault that people get distracted by her appearance and tell her things they shouldn't. I wonder if that happens to Johansson in real life. It seems like not getting flustered by a pretty face and inadvertently sharing your plans for world domination would be something that was taught in Evil Overlord 101. Some people in this film obviously weren't paying attention at Evil Academy the day that class was taught and it shows.
The Avengers also has some Whedon trademarked snappy dialogue and inside jokes. When Thor is ranting that Loki is his brother and thus can't possibly be judged by mere humans, he is told that Loki killed over 80 people. Without missing a beat Thor says Loki is adopted. Tony Stark wears a Black Sabbath t-shirt. The Hulk shows another member of the team that he bears grudges. There is no Ant-Man or Wasp so comic book purists be warned. The Pentagon did not assist with this film
“We couldn’t reconcile the unreality of this international organization and our place in it,” Phil Strub, the Defense Department’s Hollywood liaison, tells Danger Room. “To whom did S.H.I.E.L.D. answer? Did we work for S.H.I.E.L.D.? We hit that roadblock and decided we couldn’t do anything” with the film. Truth really is stranger than fiction because in some respects this film is an advertisement for many of the really cool military gadgets that we know about and probably more than a few that we don't. But so it goes I guess. Gwyneth Paltrow, Cobie Smulders, and Harry Dean Stanton have small roles. And as usual Marvel creator Stan Lee has a blink and you'll miss it cameo.
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Bunraku
directed by Guy Moshe
This is perhaps the movie that The Warrior's Way could have been-stylistically that is. Much like The Warrior's Way the storyline isn't quite strong enough or vibrant enough to hold interest for the whole movie. And unlike The Warrior's Way there isn't really a strong female character. Since so much of what men do is for women, without some sort of feminine motivation for at least one of the heroes (although you could argue a secondary character may have had that) the film sort of flounders a bit. This is despite the fact that Bunraku probably had a better known cast than The Warrior's Way.


I really liked the style and sense of unreality that permeated this film. Bunraku is a form of stylized Japanese puppetry. Between the Technicolors, fades, narration and reveals, the theater like staging of many key fights, the lush sets and camera tricks, you certainly did get the feel that this could have been puppets on a string. This is one of the better looking movies I've seen in a while. In some spots it reminded me of Sin City. There has been a catastrophic global war that has left humanity divided into small groups. Guns have been outlawed and evidently aren't available any more but knives, fists and especially swords are still in usage.


In a small town only described as "east of the Atlantic" a group of elite killers hold sway. They of course have a much larger group of thugs and flunkies to do their bidding and extort payments from everyone in town. But the core of the group are ten killers of ever more deadly skill. Killer #2 (Kevin McKidd) is a well dressed almost dainty man whose talent with the sword is better than anyone else's while his speed is quite inhuman. But he's not the boss. Even #2 treads lightly around Killer #1, aka Nicola The Woodcutter (Ron Pearlman), the brutally fair and fairly brutal boss of the entire operation. Nicola doesn't allow people to see his face but does regularly test himself against people who seek his throne. To an extent Nicola is bored. He is starting to believe that he really is the best warrior to ever live and despairs of ever finding someone who can prove otherwise. At this point in his life Nicola wants to have a baby with his feisty, desperate and imprisoned lover Alexandra. (Demi Moore) Moore doesn't really have a whole lot to do here but she does manage to get on Killer #2's nerves as much as she can.
Two strangers enter town, both looking for a showdown with Nicola and his group. One is The Drifter (Josh Harnett), a cowboy with a quick temper, quicker fists and a taste for poker. The other is Yoshi (Gackt) a samurai swordsman of supreme skill who wants something back that Nicola stole. Both men are noticed by The Bartender (Woody Harrelson), something of a Retired Bada$$,  who uses their violent natures and single mindedness to help create an opportunity to take Nicola and his thugs down for good. He wants them to join forces.The Bartender may also have a hidden agenda in this as well. But he's not telling Yoshi or The Drifter his personal business. The Drifter and Yoshi don't necessarily like each other at first as each is concerned the other will complicate his ability to get what he wants from Nicola.


The men are of course noticed by Nicola's thugs and eventually by the ten killers themselves. Mayhem ensues. Ultimately this film is somewhat disappointing but boy did it look good. McKidd pretty much steals the show in all of his fight scenes.
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Black Sunday
directed by Mario Bava
Many modern horror films rely too much on (female) nudity, extreme hyperviolence, taboo subjects (how many more incest loving cannibalistic rural families are out there?) and lurid special effects. Sometimes it's almost like horror films are akin to a heroin junkie who has discovered they just don't get the same rush any more and must inject stronger and stronger doses.
So from time to time it's interesting to go back to the movies of yesteryear that had to bring across fear or weirdness without being able to rely on any of the above tactics. Sure some of these films are obviously limited by this but others seem to have been better movies for the relative lack of explicitness. 


The Italian made Black Sunday is one such film. It shows that if you know what you're doing you can make a creepy disturbing erotic film that by modern standards doesn't really have excessive violence or nudity. Ironically, of course, by the standards of the day, Black Sunday was considered over the top and graphic. Go figure. It is amazing how much more artistic freedom/license we have today. That could be a good or bad thing as discussed.


Black Sunday was shot in black and white and dubbed into English. This is rather weird because some of the actors were obviously speaking English while others weren't.  It has a very sensuous gothic feel to it. The sets are sumptuous. The director, Mario Bava managed to simultaneously look forward with his gore and sexual inferences while also making a movie that dovetailed nicely with the classic Universal films, particularly 1931's Dracula.
Black Sunday is the film that made the English actress Barbara Steele a horror icon. With her almost freakishly large eyes, large forehead and full lips, she was a little different than what was usually considered to be attractive. She had a rather unsettling look that made her perfect for this film. Sometimes she could appear to be very beautiful other times she , well just watch.


The film opens up in Moldavia in the seventeenth century. The evil Princess Asa Vajda (Barbara Steele) and her lover/brother(?) Prince Igor Javuto (Artuto Dominici) have been condemned to die by her other brother, head of the Vajda clan, for the crimes of black magic, devil worship, vampirism and incest(?). Asa laughs at all this and curses her brother. She says she'll return in time to wreak vengeance upon her brother's descendants. She is branded and executed by having a devil's mask nailed to her face. Her body is placed in a crypt with charms and holy relics guarding it. Javuto is also executed and his body buried in a separate location. 200 years afterwards, two doctors are traveling in the Vajda lands. Through a combination of bad luck and total stupidity they manage to break the holy bonds keeping Asa in the grave and partially resurrect her spirit. 


Asa almost immediately in turn resurrects Javuto and sends him on a mission to kill the current Family Lord, Constantine Vajda (Enrico Olivieri). In the meantime, though the younger doctor, Andre Gorobec (John Richardson), has met Constantine's innocent young daughter Katia (Steele again) and has fallen head over heels in love. Neither doctor believes in the supernatural but as strange events start to pile up it becomes apparent that Asa means to completely possess Katia and live again in this world. And Asa needs blood.
This movie is ALL about mood, atmosphere and sets. Well maybe also it's a tiny bit about Steele's heaving bosom but that aside the sex is very muted, which is to say there isn't any.  It's the implications about sex and death than make this movie work. This is an excellent Saturday afternoon movie to watch. Some of the special effects were quite ingenious for their time. I thought the soundtrack was very impressive. Shooting in black and white gives this film a certain gravitas, or starkness that really makes things work. When a corpse pushes its way out of the grave or an eyeball is impaled you believe it really happened. 
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Don't Be Afraid of The Dark
directed by Troy Nixey
I picked this film up to watch because Guillermo Del Toro was a producer. That was a mistake on my part. Sure the movie hit all of the usual shock moments and it has a few good scenes which mostly seem to owe something to Kubrick's The Shining (aren't big empty homes inherently creepy?) but for the most part this film didn't really go anywhere.


The story is that Alex (Guy Pearce) and his girlfriend Kim (Katie Holmes) are architects/home restorers who either restore homes to bygone splendor for clients or flip them. I'm not sure and frankly I didn't care enough to rewind and find out. Bottom line is that they are fixing up a beautiful and very old home. Alex seems to be the brains of the operation. Kim just tags along and looks worried or supportive as required.


Alex's daughter Sally (Bailee Madison) is a depressed little girl who's sent by Alex's ex-wife to live with Alex. It's only supposed to be for a short period of time but it seems like the mother has taken the opportunity to dump Sally on Alex and run for the hills. Honestly in her position I'm not sure I wouldn't have done the same. Sally is an intensely morose disrespectful little girl. She makes it very clear she doesn't want to be there, talks smack to her dad and goes out of her way to show spite to Kim.


Anyway, while outside in the backyard, Sally discovers a hidden basement. The groundskeeper tries to pretend she's mistaken but Alex is thrilled to find the basement. It may add value and charm to the home. One of the grates is locked with a heavy chain. Near the grate Sally thinks she hears things. She starts spending more time in the basement. Of course the voices ask her to remove the locks from the grate.


Alex is under tremendous financial pressure to get the home finished so he has less and less patience for fairy stories his daughter is trying to tell him. But Kim, although rudely rebuffed at her initial attempt at maternal comfort, starts to listen to Sally, especially when there is a bloody incident in the basement. Sally becomes a bit more sympathetic as she tries to get proof that her new "friends" exist and mean to do her harm. Kim does some research on her own and is shocked by what she finds.


Again, this wasn't anything special and isn't worth running to rent/download. But if it's on and you have nothing better to do, why not watch it.
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